Wednesday, January 9, 2019

A Rootin' Tootin' Sunday at the Storage Unit Store Frontier

This January warm snap has Hick giddy with excitement. Sun and 60-degree temps mean lots of people roaming through the flea market, stopping by his Storage Unit Store, perhaps to give him money for his junk. (Heh, heh, my 13-year-old self snickers at the thought of somebody PAYING for Hick's JUNK.)

Anyhoo...Hick says he took in several C-notes over the weekend, but that Sunday brought more lookers than buyers. He'd hauled in $28 by shortly after noon, and had a guy who said he had to get $25 more dollars out of an ATM so he could afford to buy a rifle from Hick.

THEN ALL NOT-HEAVEN BROKE LOOSE!

A disgruntled customer returned to the scene of his purchase, a unit on the row across from Hick, and deeper into the fenced flea market. All eyes were on the kerfuffle, with Disgruntly complaining that he'd been sold unsatisfactory merchandise. The seller he had a bone to pick with was not there at the time. He'd left his wife minding the store, and she stood toe-to-toe with Disgruntly, a baby on her hip.

"I don't know those sellers. I've talked to them a couple times. They seem nice enough, but that guy has had more than a few buyers complain about him. I felt bad for his wife, because she had a baby on her hip and Disgruntly was hollering at her.

Then her husband came back, and he was MAD, because of Disgruntly yelling at his wife and kid. They got into it, and Husband picked up a torque wrench and pulled back like he was going to take a swing at Disgruntly. Disgruntly had a pistol on his hip, and he put his hand on it. Then they heard police sirens, and Disgruntly started back to the parking lot.

Husband was in trouble for threatening with a deadly weapon, and Disgruntly was in trouble for putting his hand on his gun in a threatening manner. The police said they were both going to jail, unless they decided they didn't want to press charges. They both decided pretty quick that they didn't want to press charges.

But while all THAT was going on, my gun guy came back with his money. I felt bad for him, because he was going to have to walk back out the gate, past the police, carrying that gun."

"Couldn't you put it in a Walmart sack for him?"

"It wouldn't fit. It's a .22, a long gun."

"Oh. I was thinking it was a pistol."

"No. He eventually got his car and drove it down and parked in front of my store, and put the gun in his car and drove out. It's not illegal to buy a gun here and carry it. But with what just happened, I wouldn't have wanted to try it."

Oh, and while you're contemplating the lawlessness of the Storage Unit Store Frontier... let the record show that Hick saw the loony-tune who punched our Acadia walking around at the flea market.

We could fill a whole 3-hour episode of LIVE PD at that place.
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FYI...
Missouri allows open carry without a permit, so long as the firearm is not displayed in an angry or threatening manner. Some localities prohibit open carry; however, concealed carry license holders are exempted from this restriction.
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UPDATE:

OMG!, it gets even better. Or worse. Hick found out that the merchandise Disgruntly was upset about was a SKIRT! He bought a skirt from those sellers, and left with it, and came back because the skirt didn't fit. Hick doesn't know who the skirt was for, whether a wife or daughter or Disgruntly himself. Anyhoo...Disgruntly paid $30 for the skirt, and came back wanting a refund, because the skirt didn't fit. Hick said the sellers were actually thinking about giving Disgruntly his money back, but then he got all mouthy about it. 

My main take on this tale is that Hick needs to start selling skirts! Not for the drama, but because PEOPLE WILL PAY $30 FOR A FLEA MARKET SKIRT!
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14 comments:

  1. Wow. Money back for a skirt? $30? Kerfuffle indeed.

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    1. That skirt must have been stitched with gold thread, and bedazzled with precious jewels to be worth $30 at a flea market! Unless that guy was selling something clandestine, and the skirt was just a front.

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  2. I always have a gun in a holster when I go skirt buying, that skirt buying is not as safe as it may sound.

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    1. Heh, heh! I hope you keep your Barney Fife bullet in your pocket.

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  3. Skirt buying is tricky, you'd need a curtained off area for the skirt to be tried on unless you want to spend hours selling then refunding.

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    1. Generally, people ask if the item is returnable before they buy it. Just so there's no misunderstanding.

      If Hick has something mechanical, he always says that he doesn't know if it works, or that it was working when he tested it, and they can bring it back that day for a refund if the item doesn't work. He even took a trolling motor out to the parking lot, to hook up to a car battery, to show that it worked.

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  4. Skirt the issue, I say. Just sell guns, Hick.

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    1. I don't know about Hick's skirts, but he donated his prom dresses to my old high school, for students going to the special-needs prom. He's not in the clothing business, but does offer shoes, new in the box.

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  5. Holy shotgun. I don't know which was more shocking, the nut with his hand on his piece or the high priced skirt.

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    1. I guess the only situation that could have been more shocking was if he returned wearing the skirt. Because nobody wants to see a man brandishing a gun while wearing an ill-fitting skirt!

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    2. I agree; any man brandishing a gun should be wearing a skirt that fits!!

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    3. I know, right? Otherwise, I might take it as a sign... of the downfall of modern civilization.

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  6. Please do not direct the skirted man with a gun to my park! I have enough crazies to deal with! I frequent the thrift store nearby, as you just never know what you will find. They have signs all over the store ….. NO REFUNDS. I wouldn't think you could return stuff at a flea market or garage sale, unless you asked first.

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    1. Heh, heh! I can SO imagine an armed skirted man at your park! Right about the returns. Hick makes extra sales because he always says he'll refund the money if they're not satisfied. He figures he doesn't have that much invested, and he gets return customers.

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