Tuesday, January 22, 2019

After the Brownie Maker Incident, I Fear THIS Could Scar The Pony for Life

The Pony doesn't ask for much. Maybe for last Christmas's brownie maker to actually be included in the box he takes back to college, when he opens it up to make brownies. But otherwise, he rarely drops a clue for those who are seeking gift ideas. Imagine my surprise, when fishing for birthday gift ideas for next month, The Pony said he'd like a lava lamp.

He used to have one. Still does. It's on the lamp table by my OPC (Old People Chair). The Pony tried to make it work, but it was either unplugged behind the couch, or has lapsed into permanent dormancy. It's not like they're expensive. The Pony said he'd like one in purple, similar to the old one.

Of course I mentioned it to Hick, who said, "I think I have a couple over in my storage unit stuff." Now, before you go all "AWW..." about Hick giving The Pony one of his lava lamps, let the record show that Hick continued: "We can pay ME for one instead of Walmart."

I wasn't real keen on that idea. After all, we'd just sent The Pony back to college with a box full of assorted wires to use for making brownies. Surely we could kick in enough cash to buy him a lava lamp that wasn't second-hand. Not according to Hick.


I came upstairs to find THIS on the kitchen counter. Yes, next to Hick's jar of beets (?) and his empty plastic Coke bottle that says "DAD," and his unopened bottle of Jameson (from an auction) that's been there at least six months. As you can see, this is not a modern lava lamp. It looks like an antique to me. More horrifying than the dented base are the innards!


It looks like something that might have been kept in Hannibal Lecter's storage unit next to Benjamin Raspail's jarred head. No way was I going to give that thing to The Pony as a birthday gift! Hick said it was fine. "It just got cold in the storage locker. It'll thaw out."

Scarily enough, two hours later, that giant-red-blood-cell-looking disc had started to melt.


And was even behaving like a proper lava lamp.


No way am I giving that to The Pony for his birthday. I'd sooner send him a new box of wires for brownie-making.

14 comments:

  1. Of course you can't give that to The Pony. It isn't purple and isn't purple what he requested? Two years ago, maybe three, I gave lava lamps to several family members. Last week, I discovered my son's lamp covered in dust, behind the couch where it had fallen once the coffee table became too crowded with other stuff.

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    1. I should have told The Pony to move the couch out, and see if the end of his lava lamp cord was plugged in. It's pretty old, though, so it might be burned out.

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  2. I'LL TAKE IT!!! (Mine wore out.)

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    1. They ARE mesmerizing. The Pony used to turn his on all the time.

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  3. I agree with River, he asked for purple he should get purple

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    1. I agree, too. It's not like he's asking for something extravagant, like fancy camera Genius wanted one Christmas.

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  4. Give The Pony a new one!!

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    1. Hick doesn't understand that not everyone wants his second-hand merchandise. It would be different if the lava lamp was the new style, and the color The Pony wants.

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  5. Pay Hick? He's being a huckster. Your boy deserves a purple lava light and that's all there is to it. I forsee this red one becoming part of the counter collection. Sort of adds ambience.

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    1. For Christmas, he gave all the women a zippered makeup case thingy, from his Storage stash. They WERE brand new, but I'm not sure they will be used. They were pretty big to carry in a purse. If I think of it, I'll get a picture of mine. Which is still on the table next to my OPC, where I unwrapped it.

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    2. That's a useful spot for it, you can store all kinds of gadgets in there, flashdrives, extra pens, pretty much anything that fits within its dimensions. (spare hubs)

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    3. That's a good idea. Hick put my OLD BROKEN hub on the edge of Genius's desk, where I generally set my bubba cup and tray while returning knee ice to the basement mini fridge. Because we never throw anything away, and we always fill up any open spot that is used for other purposes. Let the record show that by WE, I mean HICK.

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  6. As my cousin used to say to my sister ….. Val, you make me funny! She used my sister's name of course. Just go buy the boy what he asked for. HeWho is always surprised when the kids or grands thank him for a gift because I am the buyer, wrapper and sender. I just put his name on it. I used to tell him what he gave, but nowadays, I just tell him I told him and that he wasn't listening or forgot. I could easily make him think he has dementia. That would be cruel, though, and I am so nice …….

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    1. Ooh! HeWho could write his own blog, perhaps with the title: "I'm Pretty Sure Kathy is Trying To Make Me Think I Have Dementia." Though I doubt he's as sure of that as I am that Hick is trying to kill me.

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