Resuscitating New Delly

Paging Dr. Genius, paging Dr. Genius!
Having an internet emergency!
Text at your convenience!

Okay. Not quite as catchy as Samantha Stevens paging Dr. Bombay. But still, you get the message.

I had a conniption on Thursday night, when THIS message popped up on New Delly:

NOOOOO! I call it the Gray Boot of Death. It's not like a trained, trusted friend trying to HELP me. Nope. I could get nothing to work in making a response. No mouse, no arrows, no backspace, no enter. So I just stared at it, and sent a text to Genius for further instructions. It was 9:59 p.m.

Genius responded right away.

"What did you DO?"

"Nothing. I was just without internet since 5:00 yesterday, and the only thing I could think of was that the stupid thing had updated again. So I checked System Restore, and it had, at 3:30. So I tried to restore it to before that update, and it came back and told me System Restore had failed."

"I thought we agreed that you were NOT going to try a System Restore again! Now you have probably killed New Delly."

"I know I said I wouldn't. But that's what worked before. I just wanted my internet back. I didn't know you FORBADE me from using System Restore. I kind of thought of that as a suggestion. That it's probably not a good idea."

"If I said you were a moron, THEN would you know I was serious?"

"Well. That's a bit harsh. But I think it would make me realize that System Restore is forbidden." [Let the record show that I would NEVER have used the word moron in talking to my beloved mother. NEVER.] "So what am I going to do next?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I don't do anything, New Delly will just sit here on this screen for eternity."

"What do you mean, eternity?"

"Um. FOREVER? Like...how is it ever going to get off that screen. I can't respond."

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before you did a System Restore! That was fine 15 years ago for Windows XP. But times are different now."

"I'm running Windows 7 Professional. Which is from 12 years ago. So I'm really not that far off from 15, when System Restore worked..."

"I don't know how to fix it. Send me a picture of the screen."

"Uh. I guess I need to walk upstairs and out on the porch and hold my phone out from under the metal roof. Because this picture is not sending."

I hoisted myself out of my broken-armed rolly chair, and started ascending the 13 steps. On number 7, I got another text from Genius. So I had to steady myself so as not to fall, and use both hands to look at my phone.

"Email it to me. That uses the wifi."

I bent my index finger backwards while trying to hold onto part of the upstairs floor while I turned around on the handrailless steps. Went back to my desk and rolly chair, and emailed a picture of the screen.

"Unplug your mouse, and plug it back in."

"That didn't even make that BLUMP sound like it usually does if you unplug and replug a device."

"Yeah. That's not good. Try the TAB."

"That does nothing but turn on a blue light above my number pad."

"WHAT? That shouldn't happen. Try again."

"Same thing."

"Hold in the power button until it turns off."

"Okay. Has it been long enough. Should I turn it back on?"

"Go ahead. But don't get your hopes up."

"It's coming on! Hear it? The coming-on sound! It looks like normal!"

"That's surprising. I was pretty sure you'd killed New Delly. And that I was going to have to drive five hours."

"But we're getting 8 inches of snow tomorrow! Would you do that?"

"No. I wouldn't."

"Hey!. My computer icon thingy looks like it has a connection! Should I try to connect?"

"Um. Yeah. I thought you were doing that."

"It works! I have internet! And it's not cutting out with the RED X!"

"Don't get all excited. I don't think it's fixed. I'm pretty sure you have a bad wire."

"Well, right now I have internet! So I'm going to use it! And I know you need your sleep for work tomorrow. So thank you. And you'll never guess what I saw in Walmart yesterday. LA CROIX!"

I couldn't believe the change in Genius's tone. He was down for chatting about his favorite beverage. Telling me which flavors are best, and how I should try it.

"The CranRaspberry is the best."

"Oh. You mean you can taste that one? I don't know. What's the smallest I can buy?"

"Well, the CranRaspberry only comes in a 12-pack."

"I don't know... that's a lot if we don't like it."

"Mom. It only costs $4."

"Well, you complained that I spent $25 for a kit with an Ethernet tester and plug end thingies and a crimper."

"That's $25! I wish you'd asked me before you ordered it. I only wanted you to get the wire. I have three of those testers somewhere in the workshop."

"Well, it's MY money. Money you'll never inherit now."

"Exactly!"

"Okay. It's still working, so I'm going to use it. Thanks for your help."

"Let me know what you find out when you test the wire, and I'll walk you through repairs."

My internet connection lasted exactly 30 minutes. I closed out the FireFox browser, and opened it again, and I got 33 minutes of connection. Then the RED X reappeared, and has been there since. Until Friday evening when Hick unfurled his cable.

I have a temporary work-around fix, and I'm gonna make blog hay while the internet sun shines!