Val's Sheep Count Was a Little Off

It is a well-known fact that Val does not keep banker's hours. She stays up until 3:00 a.m., and on a good day, is out of bed by 9:00. Though lately, it's been more like 9:30 or 10:00. Who have I got to impress? It's not like I have a schedule to keep.

I had to alter my sleep habits on Tuesday night, because were were arising early to start the long road back to college with The Pony. The plan was to go halfway, and stay at a casino (on The Pony's dime, which was FREE, because he's the only one who had a comped room at a casino). It's at least a 5 hour drive to that halfway casino. We would be leaving at 7:00 a.m.

A 7:00 a.m. departure time is NOT early, by normal standards. We used to leave at 6:40 to drive to school. So it wasn't any great hardship, especially for Hick, who gets up with the chickens, as if we still had chickens and the neighbor-dog-massacre was just a bad dream.

Anyhoo...I decided that I needed to go to bed at midnight, and told Hick to wake me at 6:00. I wanted the first shower, while there was still hot water, before Hick and The Pony drained the hot water heater. Hick is the waker-upper. He has dual alarms on his clock radio (yes, we ARE that old), and generally wakes me 10 minutes before the requested time. Even though I complain, it never changes. That would mean that Hick had to set the correct time on his bedside clock radio, which he had budgeted for extra time when working, to hit the snooze button.

Anyhoo...six hours of sleep is good for me. I used to get by on four-and-a-half or five hours. Yet even though I had the best of intentions...I did not make it to bed by midnight. I was watching the last two hours of Far and Away, because I wanted to see the ending before we left on our trip. I had DVRed it late one night after investing time watching the beginning. The suspense had been killing me, even though the movie is from 1992. With no commercials, I couldn't fast forward. And I had to keep rewinding it, because I couldn't understand the low-talking in parts. When I finally finished, it was 1:15.

I didn't toss and turn, because I'm lazy and somewhat immobile in bed. But I had trouble falling asleep, because normally, I'd be up until 3:00. Being an elderly lady, my at-last sleep was interrupted for a bathroom break at 3:21. I know, because I jiggle Hick's phone on the bathroom counter to see the time. No way am I going to turn on lights when I get up for the bathroom. That interrupts your sleep cycle!

I got situated back in bed, and fell asleep fairly quickly. It was like no time had elapsed when Hick's alarm blared, and he told me, "It's time to get up."

"What? Already? It seems like I just got to sleep. You're always cheating me out of ten minutes!"

"I'm not cheating you out of ten minutes, Val. It's time to get up. You said six o'clock."

I dragged myself out of bed, feeling unrefreshed, my battery not fully charged, regretting my movie-watching habits. I was supposed to wake The Pony at 6:00, so he could gather his last-minute stuff and get in the shower. I figured I'd go to the bathroom (lights out) before I ventured across the house to wake him. I jiggled Hick's phone on the counter, and it read 3:40 A.M.!!!

What in the NOT-HEAVEN?

No wonder I was feeling tired. I'd only been back to sleep for less than a half-hour! I still had over two hours of slumber coming my way! I turned on the light to check the bathroom clock. Double-checked Hick's phone. Looked out into the living room to the wall clock.

"Hey! It's NOT time for me to get up! It's only 3:40!"

"No, Val. It's 6:00. See the clock?"

"YOUR clock may say that it's 6:00. But the bathroom, living room, and your phone all say it's 3:40."

Hick turned on the bedroom overhead light, which is bright enough to perform surgery under. He fiddled and faddled with his clock radio. "Huh. I don't know how that happened."

By that time, I didn't care if he got me up late or not. I just wanted back in my warm bed to escape the ill wind of the ceiling fan built into the light, and to pull the quilt over my eyes.

Darn that Hick and his incompetence! It's almost enough to make me learn how to set my own, matching, clock radio. Almost.