Yeah. All of a sudden, Hick has become a water snob. After practically injecting Diet Mountain Dew into his bloodstream each day, and quaffing umpty-leven bottles of Walmart's Clear American Sparkling Water, Strawberry... he now comes home toting a bottle of Perrier. I couldn't have been more shocked if I'd caught him squirting Grey Poupon down his throat!
It even LOOKS out of place, doesn't it? That bottle of Perrier in Val's kitchen. I don't know what's gotten into Hick. Aside from an infusion of Perrier, of course.
Let the record show that Val is no stranger to Perrier. What do you think she is, some kind of hayseed? No siree, Bob! There was a time when Val herself tossed back some sparkling water. Way back in 1979. True, it was GIVEN to her, not something she sought out for "health" reasons, or to be cool. Nope. It was a perk. A giveaway. A cold bottle of Perrier was thrust into Val's hot little hand, after a 10K road race.
Yes, Val was quite the athlete back in her college days. Well. Not so much athlete, as someone not afraid of physical exertion. It was just running. Something anyone could do, if necessary, to escape mayhem, or achieve an award.
I'm not talking about a major award, like a leg lamp! Just a minor award. Like a t-shirt and a certificate and a bottle of Perrier, handed out by the promoters at the finish line of a 10K.
Let the record show that Val was NOT impressed. Hot and dehydrated and yearning for a nice cold drink of smooth wet water... and getting this bubbly stuff. Not Val's cup of tea.
Still. It was free. Which Hick's Perrier is not. But who am I to complain (oh, come on, I ALWAYS have the right to complain!) about how Hick spends his weekly allowance?
I remember when tap water was just fine, then Perrier became a thing, followed by a gazillion other brands of bottled water, and all of a sudden tap water was un-potable.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know they even still sold Perrier (aka snob water). I would have thought that natural spring would have dried up by now.
Heh, heh! You mean the public water spigot hasn't dried up yet. If that conspiracy is true, that they just bottle regular water and promote it as spring water.
DeleteNow if he starts spouting French I think you gotta start worryin'.
ReplyDeleteOne MORE reason to worry!
DeleteMy beloved buys cases of diet whatever every week, so when he says he needs to buy more, I sigh deeply.
ReplyDeleteHick goes through about 3 six-packs of Diet Mountain Dew 20 oz bottles every week, so the water is just a treat, I think.
DeleteYou ran 10K? Holey Moley! I couldn't run that far even back then even if I was being chased by someone wanting to kidnap me or something. I'm just not the running type, I think I have the wrong hips for running. I can still do a quick sprint to get the bus if it's right there and I don't want to hang around 30 minutes for the next one. Back in the day I probably could have walked 10k, even as little as a few years ago too, but not now.
ReplyDeleteI like my water with bubbles, because the fizz seems to be more thirst quenching for me than plain water, although plain is what I drink most of these days.
Yes, as shocking as it may seem, I ran five miles every morning before classes. So I was fit enough for the 6.2 mile 10K. Little did I know how it would affect my knees in old age!
DeleteI like my water plain, from our well, with the minerals I'm accustomed to, and no bubbles.
I don't like Perrier. Water should not be carbonated like a Diet Coke!!
ReplyDeleteI agree! That carbonated stuff makes me want a drink of water to cleanse my palate.
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