When our electricity went off Thursday at 4:30, Hick had high hopes that it would be back on by 6:00, so I could warm up our leftover pepperoni and sausage deli pizza that I got at Save A Lot. Sadly, we were still sitting there waiting. No idea just where the mechanism of the outage occurred, or how fast it would be resolved.
By 7:30, Hick decided he would go to town and pick up some food. When he came back with Hardee's burgers, darkness was falling. I got out two candles. Hick scoffed. "Well. I hope I have something to light them! I might have a lighter somewhere." Never mind that Hick regularly lights the grill, Gassy G Jr. I don't think he's rubbing sticks together for that.
"Why don't we just use these matches right here in the cabinet." Heh, heh. Hick really has no idea what's in our cabinets. Soon we were having a duel between Crisp Fall Leaves, and Sugar Cookie.
Hick went to bed right after he ate. As the night progressed, those candles started drowning in their own juices. I took Crisp Fall Leaves out on the back porch, and poured the wax over the rail. I left the door open a crack, so I didn't lock myself out!
Do you know how dark it is in the country, with no electricity, and no stars or moon? I didn't want to go back out to drain wax from Sugar Cookie. I poured it on a cardboard paper plate on the cutting block. I left the candles burning, and went to bed around 9:00. At that time, Hick got up to sleep in his recliner, because with no breather, he was not getting a good breath.
I swear, it was almost too dark to sleep! The same, whether my eyes were open or closed. I tossed and turned. The frogs out back by Poolio were deafening. It sounded like I was in a rain forest. One of those frogs sounded like a turkey!
SILENCE! All the frogs stopped! Huh. I figured there must be a predator afoot. In fact, I thought I heard something. Maybe on the end porch, under the bedroom window. Or on the back porch, on the other side of the french doors in the bedroom. It was NOT the sound of Hick snoring and gasping in the recliner. It was like a growl. A menacing purr. No pattern to it. The more I held my breath to listen, the more I became convinced that it was INSIDE THE BEDROOM!
Dang it! And I couldn't see what was in there with me!
Actually, I had a mini metal green flashlight, that was left over from a set I used one year as stocking stuffers for the boys. But I didn't want to shine it! I didn't want to see a critter in my bedroom! My heart was pounding. My neck muscles tense. I could holler for Hick, but he may not hear me, and it would irritate the beastly intruder. I didn't want to get up and go to the living room, because I'm slow! My bare ankles could be gnawed bloody by the time I got to the bedroom door.
I took a deep breath. Held it. Listened intently. Aha!
IT WAS MY OWN STOMACH RUMBLING!
Sometimes, my imagination gets the best of me. Like in the dark, with no electricity.
I was expecting a crazed raccoon!
ReplyDeleteThat must be your PTSD from the raccoon that kept you from grilling your steak on the deck! Genius thought the same thing when I told him the story. HE saw a raccoon on our back porch eating dry dog food.
DeleteOne night I awoke and it was very dark. I could hear someone breathing and louder and louder. I thought it must be Tommy coming down the hall, but he would not try to scare me, so i did not know who was coming after me. Louder and louder. Finally, I held my breath because I was afraid. When the breathing sound in the room quit, I realized it was me I heard!
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! It's amazing what the imagination does in the dark!
DeleteYou went to bed and left candles burning??? Do you have ANY idea how many houses are burned down because of this? Take a guess. No, no, a higher guess.
ReplyDeleteI've never mistaken my own stomach growl for an outside intruder.
It's not like they were tallow candles clipped to a Christmas tree branch!
DeleteThey were both candles in glass jars six inches tall, already burned halfway down inside, sitting on the kitchen table and cutting block, nothing around them to fall in or for a spark to jump to.
I was more likely to spontaneously combust with my growling stomach than those candles were to burn down the house.
Aha! Safe candles. Thank you for my renewed peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the jar candles are the way to go. No candlesticks for us! And they can be carried to another room, as long as you don't hold onto the hot part of the jar.
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