I knew what a close-talker was before Seinfeld was a thing. About 17 years before! I was a freshman in high school, and had gym class and band with a sophomore close-talker. She looked like a blond version of Blair Warner on Facts of Life. Her family ran a big chicken farm, and she had a strikingly handsome blond older and younger brother. Not that I noticed... Anyhoo, to be fair, she wore glasses, so maybe her close-talking was just a function of bad vision. Her brothers were not close talkers. Darn it!
Anyhoo... we're not here to talk about close-talkers. We're here to talk about FAR-PARKERS!
When I returned to T-Hoe after buying scratchers from the machine (losers, except for a $3 winner), I saw this display of questionable parking skill. Surely the driver could see that bright yellow post. It's not like a concrete tire-bumper that's out of sight below the front end of the car. Speaking of those yellow concrete tire-bumpers... last week, I saw one in the space T-Hoe was parked here, that was broken in half! I doubt it was this same driver, because this car is in a Handicap spot, and the one T-Hoe is in is the first non-Handicap space of three down at that end of the store.
Funny how when Country Mart re-finished and striped their parking lot, they revised the 10 Handicap spaces along the front, and turned them into 5 Handicap spaces, with giant walkways between them. I think that's wasted space. It's not like everyone who parks there is on a gurney to be wheeled inside for shopping, like that half-woman my sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife saw gambling at the casino.
Anyhoo... I don't particularly mind a far-parker. I had to be careful when I swung T-Hoe's rear that way when backing out, but it's way less annoying than a CLOSE-PARKER.
His T-hoe's reasr will have to keep an eye on you.
ReplyDeleteT-Hoe's rear has not functioned properly for many years! His back-up beeper does not work. He's too old to have a camera. 2008! We got it fixed once, and it lasted ONE TRIP out of the garage. Something is wrong with the way the sensors send the message to T-Hoe's electronic brain.
DeleteI had a Latin tutor in High School (that's right I am linguistically challenged) he was a close talker with bad breath in a Granny smelling home...thanks for the memory!
ReplyDeleteHow big is that store to need parking for 5 or even 10 handicap spaces?
I went to a gym once that had multiple handicap spaces and never saw a handicap person working out, unless those "I pick things up and put them down" muscle heads count as handicapped.
I had a principal who was a close-talker with coffee breath. Sadly, my room was right across the hall from his office. He visited a lot, and I was a captive audience, there in front of 34 8th grade students!
DeleteIt's a regular grocery store size. Even before, I thought they had WAY too many handicap spaces. There were another 8 across the drive. Now they are not marked as handicap.
Those yellow car-damagers are something to be avoided and that far-parker knew it.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the car-damager is worse than the tire-bumper. Better safe than sorry and poorer, I guess.
DeletePerhaps she thinks near enough is good enough.
ReplyDeleteI like how you assume the driver is a SHE! Because a man would just ram into it, and blame the store for putting it there, heh, heh.
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