Sunday, July 4, 2021

One Mystery Is Solved

Remember way back in May, when I had to call AT&T to pay my bill by phone, because my payment mailed on APRIL 21 had not yet arrived? Here's the original tale
That payment is never going to arrive. I need to adjust my checkbook register.

This is the return envelope, and pre-printed payment thingy that came with the bill! I'm sure AT&T knows their own address, that I have used for YEARS to return my payments. I assumed that the sorting machinery had kicked out the bill for some reason, but The Pony, our resident post office insider, said no. That mail gets that yellow sticker after a carrier takes it out for delivery, and can't find the address. Seriously? Somebody could not find a PO BOX? 
Don't presume that mail can't be delivered if the name of the entity doesn't show through the window. The ENVELOPE ITSELF is printed with AT&T! Not my fault that the perforation was off on their return thingy. That thingy was not sliding around. It's the proper size for the envelope, just a smidgen off with their address. Besides, it has a barcode for sorting. So it should have gone to the right facility to go out for delivery. I can't believe MY envelope would be the ONLY bill being delivered to AT&T on that day.

So let's review. I MAILED this bill on APRIL 21. It is POSTMARKED from ST. LOUIS on APRIL 22. I found it in my mailbox, EmBee, on JULY 2.


Has BILLy been painting the town? St. Louis, perhaps? Going up in the Arch, visiting the zoo, gambling in casinos, having frozen custard at Ted Drewes, eating toasted ravioli, partaking of the "square beyond compare" at an Imo's Pizza, acquiring some culture at the Art Museum, and getting some hands-on learnin' at the Science Center?

Or maybe BILLy was in Chicago, cooling his small shoulders, taking in a Cubbies game (TRAITOR!), eating deep-dish pizza, and laughing his stamp off at a Second City show.

Wherever he's been, BILLy's home now. And not a cent poorer. His journey does not bode well for the hiring practices of the USPS. 

Oh, wait...


  1. Replies
    1. The misdelivery and nondelivery of my mail is not a laughing matter! If I had a cane, I'd shake it at you!

      We can send a man to the moon 50-odd years ago, but now we can't drive a piece of paper to an address clearly printed on the front? Is humanity devolving?

    2. Why, yes I do think it is devolving! Or, it could be that I am a magnate for idiots!

    3. I'm a weirdo magnet, you're an idiot magnet! Our lives continue to parallel, past the similar Juno and Toni Louise, past the Hick and HeWho.

  2. None of this would happen if you paid your bills online
    (ducks and runs for cover)

    1. You'd better run fast, or have a metal helmet that will make a satisfying CLANG when I chuck a recycled road brick at you!

      Last week, my internet went down 4 times. Twice due to rain, and twice due to a router issue. I can't depend ON LINE, heh, heh, to pay my bills! I'm never certain that my innernets will be restored.

  3. Even Santa's letters make the dead kletter pile, but are read. I'd say someone was laying down on the job, or not using common sense.

    1. I thought maybe it was stuck with some other mail, and the deliverer didn't want to go back and deliver it. The Pony said that gets a different treatment (can't remember if it was a sticker, or just put somewhere special) to be delivered the next day.

      I'd say it was a deep conspiracy to disconnect my AT&T, but I don't think my fame crosses state lines! I had our last name on the return address, which usually I don't, relying on the street number and zip code for returns. Cuts down on our junk mail.