Hick returned home Saturday night around 11:30, having driven 15 hours straight. He did not get off to a good start. Within 10 minutes of hitting the road, Hick was pulled over for a moving violation. SPEEDING! What were you expecting, a sweaving ticket?
To hear Hick tell it, he was perfectly innocent. Railroaded! Ensnared in a speed trap!
"I saw a cop pull out after me. It took me about a quarter mile to get over to the side of the road. He said I was speeding."
"How fast were you going?"
"What was the speed limit?"
"So you WERE speeding."
"Not by much. But THEN he tried to say I was speeding in a work zone! That it should have been a 55 miles an hour speed limit. All because there were some orange cones along the road. They weren't even ON the road! They were way over to the side!"
"Was there a sign that said WORK ZONE?"
"If there was, I didn't see it! He wanted my license and insurance and registration."
"So? You had them all, right?"
"Yeah. It took him forever. I was watching him in my mirror. I thought maybe he was going to let me off with a warning. I didn't see him writing a ticket. But apparently, his motorcycle had a computer in it, because he came up and handed me a PRINTED TICKET! He said he was giving me a break by not writing my ticket about the work zone. I could fight it in court, but then I'd have to go back there to do it. So I'll just pay it. I have to go to TRAFFIC SCHOOL! He said I could do that in Missouri. I think I might have to do that before I can mail in my fine!"
"Yeah. Well. You do the crime, you do the time. And the fine."
"Yep, one of Henderson's finest got me. It wasn't even a state cop. It was a city cop."
"Hey! You. Are. Guilty. Don't blame the boys in blue!"
Of course, I'm the one who'll have to address the envelope and write out the check for Hick's crime spree.