Monday, July 26, 2021

He's a Swerver, He's a Weaver, He's a Las Vegas Leaver

Hick returned home Saturday night around 11:30, having driven 15 hours straight. He did not get off to a good start. Within 10 minutes of hitting the road, Hick was pulled over for a moving violation. SPEEDING! What were you expecting, a sweaving ticket?

To hear Hick tell it, he was perfectly innocent. Railroaded! Ensnared in a speed trap!

"I saw a cop pull out after me. It took me about a quarter mile to get over to the side of the road. He said I was speeding."

"How fast were you going?"


"What was the speed limit?"


"So you WERE speeding."

"Not by much. But THEN he tried to say I was speeding in a work zone! That it should have been a 55 miles an hour speed limit. All because there were some orange cones along the road. They weren't even ON the road! They were way over to the side!"

"Was there a sign that said WORK ZONE?"

"If there was, I didn't see it! He wanted my license and insurance and registration."

"So? You had them all, right?"

"Yeah. It took him forever. I was watching him in my mirror. I thought maybe he was going to let me off with a warning. I didn't see him writing a ticket. But apparently, his motorcycle had a computer in it, because he came up and handed me a PRINTED TICKET! He said he was giving me a break by not writing my ticket about the work zone. I could fight it in court, but then I'd have to go back there to do it. So I'll just pay it. I have to go to TRAFFIC SCHOOL! He said I could do that in Missouri. I think I might have to do that before I can mail in my fine!"

"Yeah. Well. You do the crime, you do the time. And the fine."

"Yep, one of Henderson's finest got me. It wasn't even a state cop. It was a city cop."

"Hey! You. Are. Guilty. Don't blame the boys in blue!"

Of course, I'm the one who'll have to address the envelope and write out the check for Hick's crime spree.


  1. Aha! The chickens came home to roost!

    1. I've had the light on, waiting on those chickens for a long time!

  2. That is a work zone scam. I once went through RI freeway and the "work zone" said the speed limit was 35. The work was on the south bound road, I was on north bound. NO ONE drove 35. 6 cops just pointed cars over to get a ticket while others continued on at 65. I was one of the lucky ones. The officer said the 35 speed limit continued for 25 miles. I tried to go 35 for the next 5 miles and almost got rear ended three times before I decided to break the law again and travel at an illegal but safe speed. It is a TAX, not a penalty.

    1. Hick thinks so, too! He said a lady flew past him at 65 (not sure how, if HE was going 72!), but the cops let her go. I told him he STILL was lawbreaking, and that the out-of-state plates didn't help. It's the end of the month, and he probably ticked a box in their quota.

      Hick said there were TWO cops. I asked if it took both of them to stop him. "No. The other one parked his motorcycle on the on ramp, waiting for the next one to stop."

  3. Well the one armed bandits didn't rob him; the cop did. I really thought they never ticketed for speeding in Nevada. Fifteen hours to drive home brooding about traffic school. Poor Hick.

    1. Hick didn't have long to gloat about his gambling win! After the fine, he'll be $20 ahead for the whole vacation. Even Steven is such a jokester.

  4. Remind Hick to be glad he doesn't live in South Australia, our traffic fines are the highest in the country. Instead of being the same nationwide, each state sets their own fines and ours are the highest, just like our electricity.

    1. Hick would have to make a lot of 50-cent profits at his Storage Unit Store to pay a traffic fine there!

      I'm always telling him to slow down, and he denies how fast he's going, thinking I can't see the speedometer from where I sit. ALSO, he doesn't just get distracted and go too fast. He sets the cruise control faster than the speed limit!