Thursday, July 29, 2021

Liars, Dang Liars, and Hick-clarations

When I came home from town Wednesday, I noticed Hick over at the BARn. SilverRedO was parked in front of the door, and Hick was carrying something across his arms. I swear, that something looked like a pizza box! I don't care if Hick eats pizza over at the BARn. He has the Original FRIG over there, stocked with beverages. But it was 3:30. Almost time for supper. 

I probably would have forgotten all about it, but I was a little bit unhappy with Hick. I had seven bags of groceries, and four six-packs of his Diet Mountain Dew in T-Hoe's rear. I had been hoping for help carrying them in. It's not like The Pony can trot out and do it for me, what with his broken ankle. Besides, the heat index was 107 on Wednesday! For those of you who don't believe in the heat index (joeh!), let's just say it was 96 degrees, with really, really high humidity.

Anyhoo... Hick will usually turn to look at a vehicle driving by in front of the BARn. But this time he didn't. Just kept walking. In a hurry to open up his pizza, I suppose! Of course he came to the house right after I put away the last grocery.

"How convenient. Groceries are carried in and put away. Good timing."

"Oh. I didn't know you were over here."

"Well, all your soda is still out there."

"I just carried in soda!"

"That was before you left on your trip TWO WEEKS ago! And there's only one pack left inside."

"Well. I'll get it later. It's HOT."

"What were you carrying into the BARn? It looked like a pizza box!"

"Oh. That was something I got for the storage unit."

"A pizza?"

"No. It was fishing reels."

"In a FLAT box?"

"Oh. That was trash."

"An empty pizza box?"

"No. Actually, it was a box a gun came in."

"More like a box a pizza came in! Your story sounds a little fishy to me. So many changes in what you carried in. Just pick one lie, and stick with it!"

Seriously. I don't care if Hick had a pizza over at the BARn. He could have said it was an old pizza box from SilverRedO, and he was carrying it in to throw away. I don't know what it actually was, but it was flat like a pizza box, and I don't for a minute think fishing reels or a gun came in that box. Hick does not throw away gun boxes, and he does not keep guns over at the BARn. Fishing reels are thicker than what that box looked like it would hold.

Anyway... it's never a bad idea to let Hick think he can't put anything over on me.


  1. Hick is doing himself no favours by sneaking pizza so soon before suppertime and sneaking other foods like doughnuts during the day when he knows full well he shouldn't be eating them.

    1. I don't even know if it WAS a pizza box, but I'm suspicious because his story changed so much. I also thought of a donut box, like the flat ones that a dozen Krispy Kremes come in. WAIT A MINUTE! Hick was in Casino Town the previous day, and they have a Krispy Kreme store that we used to drive through. Aha! The plot thickens! Most of my issues with Hick revolve around not getting a straight answer for my interrogation.

  2. You can bet on it; it's those melt in your mouth sugar babies.
    Do any of them give a straight answer? Mine talks in circles and chuckles when he's caught.

    1. Hick never thinks he gets caught. He maintains that he was telling me the truth all the time, but that I "cain't understand nothin'!" that he says.