The other day, The Pony was chatting about how his clothes were looser after all the walking he's been doing delivering mail, and how he needs those two belts he just bought, and how he might even need new belts.
"Yeah. You're getting more toned, too. I can tell."
"Speaking of that, look at this picture! I took it to show that weird package, but it makes my leg look really buff!"
Heh, heh! Where to begin? First of all, The Pony's leg is not that muscular. It's all in the perspective. It's really noticeable when looking at another photo of this 'weird package.' We'll get to that in a moment.
"What in the NOT-HEAVEN is that? A Leg Lamp? Like from A Christmas Story?"
"I don't think so. It was three cardboard tubes taped together, with shipping bags on each end."
"It looks like somebody's fake leg!"
"I don't think so. The tubes were coming apart. I looked in the crack, and it looked like a black rod inside."
"Oh, don't get me started! I would never have suggested this job if I had any inkling that my little Pony would be handling a customer's package, looking in his crack, and peeping at his rod!"
"Oh, Mother!"
"It might be a golf club."
"I couldn't tell. I just take a picture of really odd packages. This is only the second one."
"Looks like your shoes are wearing out after only two months."
"They ARE worn out. I've got another pair ordered. The scuffs on the toes are from stubbing them on steps. Backroads has a route where all the houses have odd steps. Some are way too tall, and some are tiny. Some are a mixture on the same set of steps.
I hate them!"
"What did you do with the rod package? Lean it against the door? Lay it down? Hand it to somebody?"
"We're not supposed to knock unless it needs a signature. That would slow us WAY down! We leave it on the porch unless they have a note to put it in the car or something. This one I balanced across two chairs. Oh. Here's the first picture I took of it:"
"That's quite a difference! I think it was a golf club. But I don't know why the top would be bigger. Unless it was just the angle of the first picture. With your muscular calf. And a three-foot-long thumb. At least here, your hand looks okay, but you have a 10-foot arm."
Or is the FIRST picture the accurate one, and this one has a slimming filter...?
Laughing here. Pony has many life lessons to learn.
ReplyDeleteSo many! I imagine most of them will be on the job.
DeleteThe Pony has very nice fingernails. I'd love to know what was in that package.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to see The Pony's fingernails, as they are sometimes disguised with polish! He either doesn't have time now, or he's toned it down for the job.
DeleteOnly The Pony's eyes know what was in that package. We might have recognized it with a peep, but he did not. I also think he once delivered a curtain rod to an apartment, in a long thin box. I guess he didn't consider that odd...
Only you could go blue with descriptions. HA HA
ReplyDeleteIt's payback for The Pony. I can say the most innocent thing, and he will snicker and say, "Um, do you realize how that sounds?"
DeleteSometimes we do send them to college for 4-5 years to shovel shit! Yes the youngest double majored in chemistry/micro biology to study medicine in a lab setting. But got a job at a sewer plant to support herself while studying. Then figured out that she could make $26.00 and hour as an operator and eventually get into the lab which supplies 1/2 of the state of Washington . There she will make $40.00 an hour and as a woman she can climb to the top as there are no women operators in the state. The benefit package is to die for she will be at the top of the field. SO why go into debt anymore for med school? SO here she is shoveling shit. I am so proud.....
ReplyDeleteI am proud of her, too! A "career" is hard to come by these days. Genius is raking in big bucks in the tech field, programming driverless cars. But he's worked at three different companies (maybe 4 now!) within the past 5 years.
DeleteI pointed out to The Pony that a federal job can't be beat for job security and benefits and transferability to other locations. Not the highest paying field, but the mail keeps running. It's an essential job.
In one sentence you caused three tee hee's from my 13 yo self.
ReplyDeleteThe Pony does not appreciate my nod to all the 13-year-old selves out there.
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