No, Val hasn't lost her ever-whinin' mind! I am SO happy that Hick was home, underfoot, at 3:40 on Thursday, June 25th. Because he was there to rescue me from
A GIANT SPIDER!
Which I saw when halfway down the basement stairs, carrying my lunch tray and 44 oz Diet Coke. It was on a 12" x 12" floor tile, and I swear it occupied 1/3 of that square! That means it was 4" x 4", people! A big-a$$ spider!
Gallant Hick, sitting on the long couch droning to The Pony about amps and kilowatt hours to discern how much of our month's electric bill to attribute to his nightly 2-hour soaks in the big triangle tub, jets roiling the water... was at the ready to rush to my rescue at first gasp.
"Oh, that's just a little spider."
"LITTLE! It's half the size of a floor tile!"
Okay. Maybe I exaggerated. It as more like 1/3 the size of a floor tile. Which is still colossal in spider dimensions. IMO, anyway.
Hick edged past me down the steps. There's no railing, you know. He was BAREFOOT! Getting ready for a dip in Poolio. He looked around for a killing implement, and grabbed an empty cardboard box from a 12-pack of canned Diet Coke.
"I need something to smash it with."
With that, Hick slammed the end of the box on Colossus Arachnida. Then he PICKED IT UP BY A LEG!
"What are you doing, showing The Pony?"
"I don't want to see it!"
"No. He ain't dead yet."
"Wait! I want a picture. DON'T bring it over here! I'm still on the steps! I'm not putting this down to take a picture."
"I'll get one when I take him outside."