Wednesday, July 1, 2020

I Am SO Thankful That I Have Hick

No, Val hasn't lost her ever-whinin' mind! I am SO happy that Hick was home, underfoot, at 3:40 on Thursday, June 25th. Because he was there to rescue me from


Which I saw when halfway down the basement stairs, carrying my lunch tray and 44 oz Diet Coke. It was on a 12" x 12" floor tile, and I swear it occupied 1/3 of that square! That means it was 4" x 4", people! A big-a$$ spider!

Gallant Hick, sitting on the long couch droning to The Pony about amps and kilowatt hours to discern how much of our month's electric bill to attribute to his nightly 2-hour soaks in the big triangle tub, jets roiling the water... was at the ready to rush to my rescue at first gasp.

"Oh, that's just a little spider."

"LITTLE! It's half the size of a floor tile!"

Okay. Maybe I exaggerated. It as more like 1/3 the size of a floor tile. Which is still colossal in spider dimensions. IMO, anyway.

Hick edged past me down the steps. There's no railing, you know. He was BAREFOOT! Getting ready for a dip in Poolio. He looked around for a killing implement, and grabbed an empty cardboard box from a 12-pack of canned Diet Coke.

"I need something to smash it with."

"That's EMPTY!"

"It'll work."

With that, Hick slammed the end of the box on Colossus Arachnida. Then he PICKED IT UP BY A LEG!

"What are you doing, showing The Pony?"

"I don't want to see it!"

"No. He ain't dead yet."

"Wait! I want a picture. DON'T bring it over here! I'm still on the steps! I'm not putting this down to take a picture."

"I'll get one when I take him outside."

Uh huh. Took him outside, and posed him for a picture on the retaining wall under the back porch, right next to Poolio! He doesn't look mortally wounded, or even lame, to me!


  1. We are the spider capitol of Idaho, and we have hobo or brown recluse here. They are large, aggressive and fast. Got bit by one about 15 years ago, went right to the bone. Did not hurt at all, but had to have anti venom shots for 10 days straight. Not a fun time. Shots hurt like hell and left bruises on my butt.

    1. A teaching colleague was bitten by a brown recluse when he was young. He had a horrific sunken-in scar from that bite, and liked to show it off at the lunch table. It definitely made me vow to be on the lookout for the brown recluse!

  2. That looks like a wolf spider. I've killed a few of them. The Almighty Google says they can be considered dangerous to humans.

    1. The wolf spiders I've encountered were not that big. Its picture doesn't do it justice! Also, the wolf spiders had a "stripe" on their back. I think it was a wolf spider that descended from the ceiling of my dark basement lair one night, and exploded into a million baby spiders when it fell and hit my desk! I'm pretty sure I didn't kill them all...

      The markings on this spider's back (such as you can see from Hick's picture) make me think it's a Dolomedes fishing spider.

      I don't know what he was fishing for in our basement! But Hick found one years ago, out by Poolio, and brought it in to show me in a ziploc bag. I suppose he let IT go just outside the basement door as well!

  3. That's a fine looking spider, reminds me of a huntsman without the furry coat. I hope he was just stunned and managed to scuttle away. Hopefully not back into your lair.

    1. I haven't looked outside to see if his carcass is still there. He's leaking some guts, but he might have gotten away. Good thing we don't have chickens any more, or he wouldn't stand a chance! They used to hang out in that area under the porch on the BARn side.