Thursday, July 30, 2020

Even Steven Demands Loyalty

For two days, I did not get a 44 oz Diet Coke at the Gas Station Chicken Store!

On Monday, we took a trip out of town, and got back around 4:15. I did not feel like I'd get my money's worth out of a 44 oz Diet Coke that late in the day. Although lately, I've started sipping it at 3:00, even when I buy it around 2:00.

I went in, though, to trade some scratchers. The Gun-Totin' Clerk chastised me for throwing off her routine.

"I'm used to putting your change right here! You're confusing me!"

"Sorry. We got back too late. I'll just have a bottle of soda at home today. I'm still here for the lottery! And you know I'll be back tomorrow..."

She let me off the hook with a warning.

On Tuesday, The Pony wanted a chicken strip combo from Hardee's for lunch. I decided to have the same. A combo comes with a soda. No need to get my 44 oz Diet Coke. I did, however, go in the Gas Station Chicken Store for my scratchers.

"WHAT? No soda again today?"

"Well, I'm going to Hardee's for a combo. So I'm getting my Diet Coke there today."

"You're not loyal! You're stepping out on us! That's two days in a row."

"I'll be back in my routine tomorrow. I'm just getting my Diet Coke at Hardee's today."

Of course you know what happened... but I'll give you the details.

I pulled up at Hardee's and ordered a medium chicken strip combo with honey mustard sauce and a Sprite, and a small chicken strip combo with honey mustard sauce and a Diet Coke. The gal repeated the order, and told me the price through the speaker. I drove around to the window. I paid. She handed out the Sprite. Then the bag of food. Then said, "We're getting your Diet Coke."

Then she came back!

"Um. Our Diet Coke is acting funny."

[What do you mean it's funny? The way it talks? Funny how? What's funny about it? Funny like a clown? Did it amuse you? Did it make you laugh? What is so funny about it? Tell me what's funny. OH, SORRY! I watched part of Goodfellas before I left for town.]

"Will you take Diet Dr. Pepper?"


"Oh. How about Coke Zero?"

"I guess. Give me Coke Zero."

Of all the times for Hardee's to have FUNNY Diet Coke, it had to be on the day I wanted one. On the day I told the Gun-Totin' Clerk at the Gas Station Chicken Store that I didn't need my 44 oz Diet Coke, because I was getting one at Hardee's.

I paid for COLORED WATER! There's no caffeine in Coke Zero! No sugar. Just colored water. At least I added my powdered Sugar Free Cherry Limeade to it at home. And part of a bottle of regular Diet Coke. So I had caffeine and fake flavor. Plus a little more color.

Here's the thing. That Hardee's gal KNEW she had funny Diet Coke when I made my order. I'm sure of it. She could have told me at that time, so I could decide if I still wanted a combo. There's a reason she took my money first, and handed me every other item on the order. THEN discovered the funny Diet Coke. I'm a little miffed at her tactic. I couldn't cancel that combo and ask for a refund, because I ALREADY HAD THE FOOD IN MY CAR. They don't take back food. Also, the price of fries and chicken would be about the price of a combo anyway, if ordered separately without a soda.

On Wednesday, the Gun-Totin' Clerk seemed a little too happy upon hearing what happened to my smug order of a Diet Coke chicken strip combo.


  1. Hardee's had no idea who they were messin' with.

    1. I guess that's why they continue to mess with me! I stopped getting their taco salad because it looked like they took the box and SHOOK IT UP before handing it out the drive-thru window.

  2. Echoing Susan above. And what's with the Dutch warning here?

    1. I don't know what a Dutch warning is. Am I giving it, or getting it?

  3. She seemed happy? Did she phone ahead and get them to say the diet coke is acting funny so you'd be sure to come back to her the next day?

    1. Hmm...she MIGHT have them on speed-dial!

  4. Maybe the gun toter is in cahoots with Hardees??

    1. That is a conspiracy I need to investigate!