Val Reveals More Than a Proper Lady Should

I am about to share a story that requires me to reveal more than I'd like. If there was any way to conceal the embarrassing big picture, I surely would. Alas, that is not possible. So, like a naughty swimmer from the Victorian Era showing a bit of shin, I'm about to let it all hang out.

Oh, wait! I am living in THEVICTORIAN era!!!

Anyhoo... here's the deal.

My Christmas tree is still up.

In fact, I plug it in every night. I love Christmas. Not to the extent that I display yuletide trinkets in every room. Or have a hoarder house decorated year-round with holiday gew-gaws. Nope. The tree itself (artificial), and the lights we leave strung along the gutters, wired to a light switch in the garage, are the extent of it. No, I don't turn on the outside lights every night. I do, however, love the glow of the colored lights on my artificial Christmas tree, while I'm kicked back in my OPC (Old People Chair) watching TV.

Herein lies the story. The lights were put on the Christmas tree by The Pony. He's not a very good light-putter-onner. His attention wanders. He doesn't even clip them on, but only lays them across the plastic-needled boughs. It hasn't really been a problem, though sometimes Hick chides him for his insouciance. Not that Hick knows the meaning of insouciance.

While The Pony was home for the holidays, we plugged in the Christmas tree every night. He did it at my request. He, himself, was perfectly happy laying on his gaming couch with his laptop, bereft of holiday atmosphere. One night, a strand burned out. We might have commented on it, but it was no big deal. We both thought the tree would be taken down before we left for CasinoPalooza 3, so I wanted to get maximum enjoyment out of it. Hick is like that. Once the holiday is over, the trappings are stored away.

However... Hick was remiss in taking down the tree, and also in telling The Pony to take down the tree. It used to be stored in the rafters of the garage, in its box. Then Hick built some shelves in his workshop, and the box was stashed underneath. So there was no sense of urgency to get it done while Hick had a lithe young boy (that sounds so very wrong!) to climb up a ladder in the garage with a large box.

Once back from CasinoPalooza 3, I made no mention of the Christmas tree. Hick was busy with his new $5000 old house, and only came downstairs to visit the safe, transferring his Storage Unit Store cash that he was using for renovations until we get our money back out of Hick House. I doubt he even gave the tree a thought, since it was unplugged and behind him as he came down the steps. He had his mind on his money and his money on his mind.

I've been plugging in that tree every night as I go out to watch TV. A few weeks ago, midway through my DVR watching, between 1:00 and 2:00 a.m., another strand of lights went off. Well. That happens. It didn't even spook me. I figured I'd tell Hick when he took the tree down, so he could jiggle them, or throw those non-lighting strands away. We're using the little modern lights now, not the old ones where you can replace single bulbs. The first burned-out string of lights was a little more than halfway down the tree. This newest one to burn out was connected right after it. So there were still lights above, and lights below. It did not really affect my enjoyment.

You know where this is heading, right?

Last week, I was watching a self-saved marathon of The Office, all comfy in my OPC, my precious April Christmas tree glowing at about 80 percent of its capabilities. I was around the end of Season 5, the time of The Michael Scott Paper Company. My attention was suddenly diverted to my Christmas tree, as the two burned-out strands of lights came on simultaneously.

I took that pic a couple hours ago (Tuesday evening), just to prove it happened. Of course, you only have my word for it about the strands burning out. I didn't take a picture of those two incidents. That would be weird!

That's right. My Christmas tree lights have been working ever since they came back on. No sign of a short, or any flickering malfunction. I guess they'll stay on until they don't. Such a mysterious place, my basement.