The Sunday Evening Misadventures of Hick and Val

Hick planned to grill some hot dogs for supper Sunday evening. He'd been at his Storage Unit Store all morning, stopped by Hick House to check on progress while he'd been away, come home to start filling Poolio, and mowed part of the yard that had grown back since he last mowed it three days ago.

However... I had looked up some properties that might interest Hick for flipping. I asked if he wanted to go look at them. Just drive by, notice the general condition, see if they might be worth the asking price. Of course Hick wanted to look at possible flippers! I had a list of ten. We knew where most of them were, but a couple had to be found with the Garmin.

I told Hick when we left that I had about an hour and a half for this excursion, since I'd been sipping Diet Coke all afternoon, and it would be making its exit. Hick scoffed. "Huh. This will only take about an hour." Still planning on grilling the hot dogs when we got home.

We saw one house that Hick thought worthy. It had a good roof, newer windows, and siding that didn't need replacement or repair. The neighborhood was good, with people out mowing their lawns. It's on a corner lot. Even better, it's in foreclosure! Sometimes the bank will cut their losses and take only what's owed. The only down side is that it's in a town that Hick's flipping buddies have told him is stricter on permits for renovations. So he's going to call and check on it. Let the record show that we are just in the "thinking about it" stage, and not planning to buy a flipper immediately.

Another house that caught Hick's eye was larger, and would need more work. But it was big enough to add a second bathroom. As Hick got out to look in the windows, he stuck his head back in A-Cad. "This one's not rented, it is? They might not like me peeping in the windows!" Heh, heh. It was NOT rented. Maybe the fact that there were NO curtains or shades on any of the windows would have been a clue for him. I ribbed him over that, until...

The next-to-last house was in my childhood neighborhood. Just down the street from my favorite gambling aunt's house. Again, a corner lot. Not in great shape, but a passable asphalt shingle roof, aluminum windows, and a big back yard. Hick actually went inside the enclosed front porch to peep in the house windows. When he was around back, a squirrel came up over the roof, jumped to a tree limb, and down onto the roof of the house next door. I guess he hadn't been expecting a visitor.

When Hick got back in A-Cad, he said, "It looked like someone was living in there! One room had clothes hanging, and a mattress!"

"The papers don't say it's rented..."

"Oh, it's not rented. That's the only room with anything in it!"

"Probably a squatter."

"I doubt that. It's probably something they left when they moved out."

"This house has been listed for over 400 days! I'm pretty sure people would have had time to get their stuff out. I think it's a squatter!"

"Well. You'd think they would have at least put up a curtain!"

"Yeah. Because that's what squatters do..."

We did not resolve that debate. Hick still likes the one house that's in good condition. It had a note taped on the door that said, "Do not occupy. Has not been inspected."

Anyhoo... this little flipper-house tour was now at 2.5 hours! It was 7:30. Hick said we'd pick up something for supper. He had wanted Chinese, but it takes about a half hour wait for the food. Besides, last time he went on a Sunday, it was closed. Hick thought that was just for Mother's Day, but he agreed to something faster. He chose Taco Bell. I'd just had taquitos for my lunch, but I agreed. He pulled into the drive-thru, and saw a sign taped to the menu: "We Are Out Of Beans and Sauce." Hick looked at me. Then turned to order two Burrito Supremes.

"Sir? We are out of beans. Do you still want a burrito?"

"No."

As we drove off, we could hear, "Sir? Sir?" I seriously doubt she was going to offer us anything free. You know. Because then they would run out of THAT. Hick was dumbfounded.

"How can you run a business and not have ingredients to make what you sell? Who wants a burrito without beans?"

So... we continued towards home, with Hick deciding that we would have Chinese food, since I agreed to try and wait. He was happy, because Chinese had been his first choice, but I still thought they'd be closed. Which they were!

That severely limited our options, since we were already in Backroads. The Gas Station Chicken Store only has chicken on the weekdays now, because they're still trying to hire cashiers and cooks. Country Mart's deli would only have "old food" left by 7:30 p.m. We didn't want pizza, so Domino's and Casey's were out. Dairy Queen had a packed parking lot. Hick decided on Hardee's chicken strips. Which are pretty tasty. So that was supper. With honey mustard sauce, of course.