Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Val For the Four-Peat

No, I'm not good with foreshadowing and slow build-ups toward a reveal. So let's get this right out in the open, in case the title didn't hit you over the head like a ton of bricks.

I FOUND A PENNY FOR THE 4TH DAY IN A ROW!

Let the record show that I've had a post written and scheduled to publish for the past two days. Yet each day, I've found myself bumping it ahead. So if you're tired of all this penny business, there's that. The hope that it will remain on tomorrow's calendar.

I was off to Bill-Paying Town this morning. Not to pay bills. We don't have many of them any more. I was on my way to my lesser Walmart. As I passed the Casey's on that route (which would be my lesserest leastest least Casey's of the three I frequent), I debated on whether to stop for a ticket, or wait until I passed it on the trip back home. Oh, there was no debate at all about whether to buy a ticket. That was happening!

The worker in her dark blue smock with the red trim was standing out front, having a smoke. That's not uncommon. There were no cars at the gas pumps, and only two parked over on the side. That's where the employees park, and where I also like to park here, for access to their sidewalk ramp. I always leave room for the employee cars. Just in case somebody went to lunch, and will be returning.

I hated to spoil that gal's smoke break, but a car pulled in from the side street as I passed the first entrance, so I turned in at the second one. Of course I was on the lookout for pennies. This is the store where I found one on the yellow paint of their sidewalk ramp. Yep. I looked all around. When I got out of T-Hoe, over in the parking spot I'd left for the employees. Across the lot. On the ramp. On the sidewalk. On the rug inside the door. Nope. Not my day. No need to be greedy. After all, this was only my first stop.

After purchasing my Golden Ticket, I went back outside to T-Hoe. Hit the clicker. Caught a glint. You've gotta be kidding me!


Up there by that butt. A 2017 shiny penny. Left there just for me, I'm sure. You can bet I snatched it up. Nothing wrong with Val's back! Nothing dainty about her mannerisms, either. I bent right over, not caring about the view of my ample buttocks that I gave the folks in the car parked over by the door.


That's Penny #25, people! I don't have a count on the cigarette butts. But right now, I'm on track to be a pennyillionaire sooner than a cigarette buttillionaire. My previous record of finding pennies three days in a row was shattered by this find. FOUR DAYS IN A ROW! The record for number of pennies found in a single day is also FOUR. Records are made to be broken, you know.
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And now, for the antipennyites...

What is it with you guys not being able to take a hint? I know that we women like to lead you around by the nose, and give you long lists of rules (written and unwritten) that you must obey or face the doghouse. How we make sure you never go hungry, that your clothes are clean, and match, before you leave the house, and load up our purses until we are bearing more of a load than a Sherpa on Everest, so you don't have to put anything in your pocket.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE A HINT?

Here's an example.

MONDAY. "Oh, I got you some more strawberry water and root beer. It's out in the car. With a 9-pack of toilet paper, and a 3-pack of Puffs with Lotion. I didn't feel like carrying them in today, with all the other stuff."

WEDNESDAY. "Yeah. I'm taking the trash up. There's still that soda and water in the car. Maybe I'll get that after I walk."

FRIDAY. "I know you ran out of strawberry water. There's more in the back of the car. And that root beer."

SUNDAY. "I picked up the sour cream and some extra salsa for the tacos tonight. I just brought it in. I didn't feel like messing with that water and root beer."

MONDAY. "I brought in one pack of that water and put some in the fridge for you. The rest is still out there. With the root beer. I see you're running out of Diet Mountain Dew, too."

TUESDAY. "No. I'm fine. Just out of breath. I had to run to the phone. I was busy carrying in two packs of Diet Coke, a pack of Diet Mountain Dew, two packs of strawberry water, and a 12-pack of root beer."

Seriously? Could you not notice that maybe you should carry in that heavy stuff I bought for you after the first two or three hints? Is it not enough that I think up the menu, make the shopping list, go to town and get the food, bring it in and put it away, cook it, and clean up the dishes?

What are you waiting for, a bullhorn command and a Garmin to find your way?

14 comments:

  1. Yep, they need a Garmin and two hands to find their butt.

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    1. Good to know that 50% of the population will keep Genius assured of a job with Garmin.

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  2. When will you women learn, we do not react well to hints, or vague requests...JUST TELL US WHAT TO DO AND WHEN TO DO IT!
    We need specific commands and a time frame to do it is also helpful. Jeeze, it is so simple.

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    1. Wait a minute! Did you just say that WOMEN need to learn something? Oh, dear. There you go, earning your wife's label again.

      As for telling you what to do and when to do it...we could. But we don't want to be perceived as overbearing. Image is important to us!

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  3. Four pennies in a row. You're really on a roll!

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  4. Hinting REALLY doesn't work for 99% of the men out there. They need a direct order. "Go out to the car and bring in all those things on the back seat" and just to be clear you mean right now you should nudge him towards the door and hold it open for him.

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    1. That's almost as much work as bringing them in myself!

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  5. Women understand hinting but men just don't get it!!

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    1. Yeah. It's kind of like an abstract concept to them. Like how a banana peel belongs in a wastebasket instead of stuffed down in the cushions of a La-Z-Boy. Or how a candle on the mantel burns best without a collection of toenail clippings dumped in it.

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  6. I can take a hint, I get them all the time just not sure what she is hinting at, but I take them anyways ;)

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    1. Okay, I will give you a participation credit!

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  7. HeWho is really good about unloading my car after a shopping trip. But, now that I think about it, could be so that he doesn't have to man the store any longer than absolutely necessary!

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    1. Or maybe he wants to see what treats you bought, so he doesn't have to look for them under a towel on the kitchen counter like Joe H.

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