Yeah! Hick sent me a PICTURE of two pictures! If Kramer hadn't beat him to it, I'm pretty sure he could have come up with the idea of a coffee table book about coffee tables. Or maybe a coffee cup that looks like a coffee table. Or a coffee table that looks like a coffee cup. Hey! He might still have a shot at it!
I am seriously hoping that Hick did NOT try to bargain his way down on the price of this art with those selfless folks who run Goodwill. You KNOW who I'm talkin' about! I wouldn't want the CEO of Goodwill to find it necessary to switch from Beluga Caviar to L'Osage Caviar.
I don't know anything about caviar. Or art. Hick says these are oil paintings. I'll take his word for it, since he spirited them away somewhere, and they are not sitting in the driveway propped up against the tire of the 2002 Chevy Trailblazer that used to belong to my mom. Though I think this picture was actually taken on the parking lot of Goodwill.
For all I know, these could be paint-by-number. Or done with the step-by-step instructions of the "happy clouds" guy Bob Ross. My sister the ex-mayor's wife did a little painting like that. Or at an art class out at the local junior college. And it's surprisingly painting-like. Breathtaking, some might term it. Hers is a shed and fence in the snow. And believe you me, if there's anyone who's definitely not an artist, it's Sis. And Hick. Trust me, if you're playing Pictionary, you'd be better off picking Mr. Peepers from SNL.
Anyhoo...Hick might be planning a Shackytown Louver. Yeah. That's what he might call it. And put in louvered doors and louvered windows. So his paintings don't get too oily, maybe, if he provides a cross breeze.
This is not an official announcement. So don't go ordering your tickets just yet. I'm sure Hick will be adding more to his collection before the possible project is complete.
Val--Perhaps Hick will take up painting... And then he can spend all his retirement hours painting--and out of your hair.
ReplyDeleteBut what if Hick wants to paint ME?
DeletePaint a picture of you? Or, paint you? You know that is popular these days... The "model" takes off all their clothes, and then the artist brushes the paint onto the model's flesh.
DeleteACK! I'm having a panic attack! The very idea of Hick PAINTING me has taken my breath away. You might say it's breathtaking.
DeletePeople would rather look at an ugly baby!
They do look a bit pedestrian, definitely not of the quality of a certain formally, Chubby, Chatterbox.
ReplyDeleteYes, those paintings might have come from a starving artist, but he's definitely not the painter!
DeleteNo matter how long it's been since I've read one of your blog posts, you always make me laugh. I hope to hear you are working on a book... yes? Please tell me yes.
ReplyDeleteSadly (for you, but probably not the general public) the answer is no. I've kind of given up on that idea.
DeleteYou never know Val, Hick could buy up a bunch of artwork like this to adorn the walls of his new studio, Hick could become an artist and use these paintings for inspiration....well it could happen.
ReplyDeleteI suppose so. One of Hick's favorite sayings is: "...and monkeys could jump out of my butt, too."
DeleteHa! Thanks for the shout out. I don't think those are paint by number, but I'd sure like to spend a few hours on them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can find some paintings like that at your own local Goodwill, and persuade the employees to PAY YOU to take them!
DeleteI like the idea of another shack, you'll be a real Shacky-Town then. And it could be useful, you could stash it full of all kinds of stuff. Maybe. I like the idea of a coffee cup coffee table, it could be a giant cappucino cup, they're wide, with a tray top that lifts up and the inside of the cup is storage space.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't expect Hick to cut you in on the profits if he makes a coffee cup coffee table.
DeleteHick's still bitter that he told me about his idea for a stand-up wheelchair, and then a few years later the Segway came out.
Perhaps Hick could just tell people his inspiration came From A Land Down Under.
DeleteThat could work, if we could make Hick do it. You can lead Hick to water, but you can't force his head under!
DeleteFYI, paint by number art is collectible now. Hick might be hanging a fortune.
ReplyDeleteTell me you're kidding!!
DeleteLinda-Hick might be hanging by a thread if he keeps bringing junk home!
Deletefishducky-Did you throw away a fortune after your kids grew up?
DeleteHick and George W Bush. Maybe they could collaborate for a "showing" in the new shack?
ReplyDeleteHick is not a good collaborator. It's his way or the highway, baby!
Delete