Thursday, August 10, 2017

An Open Letter to the Lady Owner of the Gas Station Chicken Store

Hey, Lady!

Last Sunday, I was pleasantly surprised when your Asian Guy Clerk refused to take the money I offered him as payment for my 44 oz Diet Coke.

"Oh, no! It's only 81 cents now!"

"WHAT? That's a steal! It's 83 cents over at your competitor, Orb K! But they're not as good."

"I know, right? For 81 cents, I need to be drinking a lot of lemonade!"

"This is great! But it's messed up my correct change! I'll know now."

Yes, I was quite happy to get my daily 44 oz Diet Coke for less than half the price I've been paying. I missed it on Wednesday, because I went to the casino, and afterwards was compelled to get an Orb K soda and find two pennies. But I was back on Thursday, regular as clockwork.

Here's the thing. Friday, I waltzed up to the counter, virtually dancing on air, my 44 oz Diet Coke in hand, my scratch-off winners in other hand, and got my correct change ready while the Stern Old Gal clerk rang me up. After she meticulously (you should really commend her, she always says each step of the transaction out loud so there is no confusion) rang up my purchases and discounted the winnings, she said, "That's a dollar sixty-nine."

"Oh. I thought sodas were 81 cents now."

"Not any more. She changed them back."

Well. That threw a monkey wrench into Correct Change Land. I had to get a five-dollar bill out of my pocket to pay. That does not sit well with The Five Dollar Daughter.

Who in their right mind changes the price of their soda on a Friday, when it's been 81 cents all week?

I am fit to be tied, and regretting the fact that I dared to ASSUME the sodas would remain the same price for a while. Perhaps until the end of the summer.

I certainly hope you're not jacking up the price of Jack Daniels and that rot-gut whiskey that the 11:00 a.m. alcoholics favor. This smacks of those days a few months back that you randomly adjusted the price of an 8-piece chicken box. No rhyme nor reason, except that on days I was buying it, the price was $8.95, and on days I wasn't, the price mysteriously dropped to $7.95, and even $6.95.

Don't get my hopes up again. There is very little in this life that can be counted on, and the price of my 44 oz Diet Coke was one of them. Now you have allowed me to graze from a greener pasture, only to prod me right back to the barren paddock.

It's a good thing your clerks are polite and know their business, and that your Diet Coke is ambrosia. Because otherwise, I would take my business under the overpass, and buy my magical elixir at Orb K, where I find way more pennies than I find here.

Good day to you!

Val Thevictorian

17 comments:

  1. Anywhere the pennies can be found sounds more like it. But we both know you aren't taking your business anywhere else just yet. Warm greetings!

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    Replies
    1. You got me! I am NOT taking my business elsewhere...just yet. I am just trying to gain some leverage in their price-gouging practices.

      Delete
  2. Val--When she gets that letter, she'll be shaking in her boots, I'm sure.

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    1. This gal is a tough one. Hick went to school with her. More likely, she spends her time shaking her boots to get them out of somebody's rumpus, where she's firmly planted them.

      Still, I think that was pretty brave of me to write her a letter.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Well...I told her. That doesn't mean she'll ever read it. But I TOLD her!

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  4. You find pennies and the up the price. Sounds like Even-Steven to me.

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    1. Yes. Only a short-term gain, then the evening begins.

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  5. Highway Robbery!!! how can they drop the price to 81 cents and now expect you to pay regular price, as good of a customer as you they should have at least contacted you first, that would have been the proper thing to do so that you could have had the correct change, it's not the price it's the principle...OK it's the price.

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    1. I am SHOCKED that I was not consulted in this price increase! Or at least notified. They're getting rich enough off my daily 44 oz Diet Coke and scratch-off habit. And I'm pretty sure I bring in business with my weirdo magnet.

      Delete
  6. How cheeky to play snakes and ladders with the prices like that. Why is their diet coke nicer than the other store? Don't they all use the same syrup/soda mix?

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    Replies
    1. I think it's the ratio that they use, or something with their carbonation. Pretty sure they have the same supplier as the other convenience stores in the area.

      In a taste test, I could tell you what store it came from, out of the gas station chicken store, Orb K, Dairy Queen, and McDonald's. I haven't swilled enough from other establishments to recognize them yet.

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  7. "Under the overpass" sounds like code words. Somebody is dickering with the coke syrup if you ask me.

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    1. Not concerned with the means, only with the end! I want my tasty Diet Coke, and I want it at the best price for the quality.

      No code words. Just my route out of town. I can't go "over the underpass," because THAT direction wouldn't take me home!

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  8. Now, mail the letter!! I would, as you know. N, I would talk to her and ask about the reasons. She just might have a valid one. I just went up on my monthly rates .... because my power bill was $4000.00 last month. Ameren got a rate increase.

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    1. I know you would! But I'm a big chicken. That Lady Owner is scary. Even I feel like I might get fired when she's in there berating the new clerks.

      Don't blame you for your rate increase. However...I don't believe that the gas station chicken store got a Diet Coke decrease, then an increase! They have no excuse, I say...not daring to bring it to their attention.

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