There Goes the Sun, doo-doo-doo-doo

Maybe a few of you have heard of a little thing called a TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN that is happening on Monday, August 21. If you haven't, it might be time to come out from under your rock where you've been shacking up with a GEICO caveman. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Backroads is right smack dab in the middle of the totality path. That means 100% coverage, baby! The sun goes bye-bye for a couple of minutes. Poor Pony, out in Norman, Oklahoma, will only get a partial eclipse. About 84%, I think, though I didn't take notes during my internet research. Genius, in College Town, says he'll get 99-point-something percent, and that ten miles away from him is totality. I sent both boys a pair of eclipse viewing glasses in their letter this week. For 99 cents, you can save your vision! What will they think of next?

Walmart is getting in on the action! Today I saw a bunch of displays down a main center aisle. In fact, I picked up three caps for Hick. He has quite a cap collection, you know.

I figure a guy like Hick can use three caps. I daresay he's misplaced or worn out his caps from the last total eclipse of the sun here in Backroads. Which was in 1442!!! Here's a link to a nearby community's eclipse resources.

The schools around here have canceled classes for Monday. They say that with the influx of visitors, they're not sure that they'll be able to transport students home safely. Estimates are that anywhere from 389,000 to a million people are within driving distance of our area, and may come to view the eclipse within a 30-mile radius of Backroads. I know that I am NOT going to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke that day! And I'll go without a scratch-off ticket, too! OH, NOOOO! What if a visitor buys a big winner rightfully meant for Val???? I'm starting to feel a bit light-headed.

The Man Owner at the gas station chicken store told me he's not sure if his business will be affected. However...his wife the Lady Owner must think so. There's a new sign on the door that advertises an ECLIPSE SPECIAL for a 20-piece box of chicken for $19.95. I don't know the regular price, but an 8-piece box is usually $8.95. Anyhoo...the Man Owner said that he heard the MO State Highway Patrol is putting up signs that say NO PARKING along the highway. And that they'll have a trooper stationed every 20 miles.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a flash of...well...I'm not sure what to call it...but BRILLIANCE seems like the wrong fit, what with the sun going dark on this momentous occasion. But anyhoo, as I started up the hill out of town, driving past the vacant shopping center where Genius and the solar car team charged their vehicle, and where there's a storefront without a name that Hick at one time said was an unmarked pharmacy that he was going to apply to deliver for when he retires...I had that flash of...um...insight! See, there's still a problem, with the word sight, since we'll be risking losing our sight if we look directly at the dark sun...

Anyhoo...I couldn't wait to get home and tell Hick my idea. I found him floating just below the surface of Poolio, on a raft not quite rated for his weight.

"Hey! You know that eclipse that's coming up? I just thought of something! If I was the owner of that parking lot where Genius had the solar car, I'd rope it off and charge people by the head, or by the car, for spaces to park and watch the eclipse!"

"Yeah. That's the perfect place. There's no trees in the way. It's open. There's a lot of parking."

"I know! And  people will be parking there anyway. He'll have to rope it off, or they'll park there for free, on his property! I'm not even going to town that day. It will be a mess. The paper says all the motel rooms have been reserved for a couple of years. I wouldn't be surprised if people are parked all along the blacktop highway. You know, come down the interstate and think they can get off and pull over. There's no shoulder! I'm definitely not getting out that day. I'll make my own Diet Coke."

"You know...I could rent out space in the field! We're on top of a hill. The trees are cleared. People could camp. I have the bathroom in the BARn. And an outhouse. I made that shower for the solar car team when they camped here..."

"Well, you'd have to go sit in town with a cardboard sign advertising your space and your price. Because nobody's going to find it out here. You'd have to gather up your customers and come out in a convoy. Then they'd probably complain because when you said a field, you really meant a field. Then if it rains that day, they'll complain that they didn't get to see the eclipse. I don't think it's worth it."

"Yeah. Maybe not. But that guy in town should do something!"

He should. I'll never know, though. I'm not going to town that day!
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Here's a link about the eclipse from one of our local newspapers a couple weeks ago.

http://dailyjournalonline.com/farmington-press/news/local/watch-solar-eclipse-in-nature-at-mdc-areas/article_04d76db0-5972-500c-97ec-c95917197f08.html