Monday, August 7, 2017

"That DOES Seem Like a Lot of Coincidences," Says Hick

Did you know that Hick has been off work for 12 DAYS?

I can hardly believe that he's going back tomorrow. Hick took off a whole week to help The Pony move from dorm to apartment. And now it's time for his return. To work. He's already returned from Oklahoma. I celebrated by escaping to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke. Actually, I go to town every day. But the trip seems so much sweeter when I leave Hick behind.

Generally, I have an itinerary in my head. Depending on deadlines like when the mail goes out, or what I'm buying that might not benefit from sitting in a hot T-Hoe for an hour, or which convenience stores will cash a big scratch-off winner. Sometimes, I make a split-second decision that alters my course. Like today...

Stop to talk to Hick. At the bottom of the first gravel hill, there was my Sweet Baboo, crosswise on his blue tractor. I stopped, because he was blocking me from making my turn to get on the section of road that takes me to the mailboxes and the county blacktop road. Hick finally noticed me, and backed up. I rolled down the passenger window. Hick said, "What?" and I said, "What?" And then I drove on to town.

Stopped by the cemetery. Just for a short chat. It was on the way.

Bypassed Casey's instead of getting gas. Didn't want to be too late mailing Genius his casino player's card that he wants for next week.

Bypassed Waterside Mart because it was busy. Didn't want to be too late mailing that casino card.

Went into post office to have the clerk handle the envelope. I could have mailed it through the slot in the lobby, but didn't want to take a chance on it being too heavy for one stamp.

Bypassed Waterside Mart because I changed my mind on getting tickets there. Spur of the moment. And in a fit of pique because they sold a big winner there last month, and didn't sell it to ME.

Stopped at Casey's for gas and tickets. Had my choice of any of the four pumps, and picked the downhill one by the handicap concrete ramp, so I could head out onto the side street, and better get through traffic to make my turn when I left.


I opened the door, and first thing I saw was another rung of the ladder leading up to my future as the world's first pennyillionaire!

Yup! 2016. It was a very good year. The year I retired!

I know I'm crazy, but every time I find a penny, it lifts my spirits. I was practically skipping as I rounded the pump and headed up toward the concrete handicap ramp by the dumpster, my rightful parking space at this establishment actually vacant, now that I had no need for it today. I cashed in a ticket, got some more, paid for my gas, and exited.

There was a man coming in, and since my momma raised me right, I held the door open for him as I left. That put me in an awkward spot, my toes over the sidewalk curb, so I just stepped down to walk across the middle of the lot, rather than going back down the sidewalk to my ramp. That was a good decision, I guess. What I was supposed to do. Because midway from building to pumps, I found ANOTHER penny!

I didn't have my phone with me for that short trip inside to pay for gas. But you can bet I picked up that penny before someone else nabbed it! Or ran over it again. The back was really scratched up, and the front was marred over the date. It looked like 1971. Hick concurred, after we both used a magnifying glass. Here it is, posed next to the tickets.

So...I could have skipped getting gas today. Or bought my tickets at Waterside Mart. Which would have made me miss these two pennies.

Hick had not been informed of the recent drops in the bucket of my pennyillionaire collection. I told him as he was finishing the last two slices of Casey's pizza that were left from Saturday night supper. Hick, who previously had informed me on the topic of my impending riches, "I find pennies all the time," conceded that my penny luck is starting to pick up steam. Or, in his exact words: "That DOES seem like a lot of coincidences."

I don't really believe in coincidences.

And now...for the antipennyites, or anyone who's tired of trying to think up a comment in response to this, my 24th penny...

Yesterday, after Hick followed me to town on his way to the auction, I returned home to see his truck parked in front of the BARn. Huh. Was he scamming me? Just pretending to go to an auction? Up to no good over in his junky lair? Having a tryst with a floozy that he picked up in town? I sent him a text.

"Did you not go to the auction?"

"I guess it was rained out no one there"

"It's OUTSIDE? I imagined it would be in a building. What are you doing now, playing with your hoarded junk?"

"It's inside and outside there was stuff pilled but no one there and yes sorting my treasures"

See what he did there? SORTING his TREASURES.

Yeah. Hick was playing with his hoarded junk.


  1. Some day I expect you to find a ladybug toting a penny at 11:11!

    1. Now THAT would be something!!

    2. Joe H: I guess that will have to be in the winter months! I never seem to find ladybugs during the summer. Unless they're fake ones, or on TV.

    3. fishducky: Sure you don't want the ladybug to give me a speech, too?

  2. I'm glad finding pennies lifts your spirits. I'll protect my back and leave them on the ground when I see them.


      Since you are saving your spine by not lifting pennies, I can only surmise that those pennies are there as a message for somebody else.

  3. Hick playing with his junk?

    Forgive me, while I go off and gouge out my mind's eye...

    1. I'm running a special on Brain Bleach this week. A case of 12 dozen one-gallon jugs for $142.56. That's a STEAL! Only PENNIES per gallon!

      Note: I only take credit cards or checks. Not $14,256 pennies. That would be cheating my way into pennyillionaire status.

  4. Joeh stole my thunder.

    I am thinking when you find your 25th penny, your luck will change and you will start finding quarters. Now that's a way to get rich quicker.

  5. Those scratchies have really big prizes, I don't think we get that much on ours. I haven't bought any in months, so maybe I should check.

    1. Yes, Missouri has some good top prizes on their tickets. Oklahoma, where The Pony goes to college, is not nearly so generous. Yes. I checked them out.

      Can't win if you don't play. Don't play if you can't afford to lose. That's my attitude about the lottery. Or the casino.

  6. Sorting his treasures does sound a lot better than playing with his junk...

    1. Yeah, but it won't sell as much Brain Bleach!