Friday, August 30, 2013

Val Continues To Depreciate

Oh, how my stock has fallen! It continues to plummet. This $8-daughter is on an express elevator to not-heaven. Today, my very own mother, the one I picked up at the park in 98-degree heat, and drove around on my monetary errands under the cool breath of T-Hoe, stuffed a mere $4 in my cup.

Don't go thinking that Val is some kind of privileged panhandler, driving around Backroads in a Tahoe, rattling a 44 oz. styrofoam cup for donations. No. I had my cup ready for the daily Diet Coke. And in the midst of my many errands, stopped to get The Pony, a ravenous after-school beast, some waffle fries and a root beer. Mom peeled off four ones. "Here. Let me give you this. For The Pony." I was driving at the time. I may or may not have waved my hand dismissively, letting her know that I didn't need her money. At least not at that instant. And she shoved those bills down into my 44 oz. cup!

Let the record show that it was not a malicious act. She was not trying to slice a leak, thus depriving me of my single daily pleasure. I had already put ten twenties in there. The bank refused to take them as a deposit! What's the world coming to, when you can't deposit cash into someone's account if you don't know their account number? It's not like I'm a Nigerian scammer. Genius needs his monthly allowance. The drive-thru teller's excuse was that there have been too many complaints about money being deposited in the wrong accounts. Seriously? I'm betting the account-holders were not the ones complaining. What's up with that? Is everybody dumping money into John Smith's account? Now I have to go back to the bank tomorrow with a deposit slip. Oh, and I also had to put three deposit receipts from my savings&loan in there. As well as two receipts from the credit union. But that didn't mean Mom could jam four ones in there indiscriminately. I have a sneaking suspicion they were not facing the same way, and some were floppy, and they infiltrated the ordered chaos of my circular file.

I need to go call her before she goes to bed. I have some spoilers from Big Brother that might raise my current daughterly value.


  1. $4? That's pitiful. I can't mention what can be purchased for $4 on St. Louis city streets...You'd be appalled.

  2. I can't put money in my son's account without his account number. You'd think that a birth date and social security number would be enough, but then I don't know our sons SS number so I guess it doesn't really matter.

  3. Sioux,
    I'd be appalled, because that $4 was FOR THE PONY! According to Hick, some things could be purchased for nothing, during the lunch hour, in a truck with a camper shell, on the parking lot behind his old workplace near Vandeventer and Tower Grove.

    To add insult to my imagined name was on that very account until July. AND, the deposit slip I used today had my name and his printed right up top. But they took it.