It appears that I have been remiss in airing Hick's dirty laundry lately. We can't have that. No need to let my blog stagnate in the unaired-dirty-laundriness of Hick's hot air. Which brings us to last evening.
The Thevictorian family gathered near the kitchen door in preparation for an outing to feast on a last supper for Genius. Attention was draw to Hick's latest auction purchase, which sat perched upon the kitchen table. No, the picture below is not of our kitchen table. It's the corner of the back porch deck.
Yes. You're right. It's a beautiful, beflowered, bug-catcher. If you look close enough, you may see an actual bug inside. That's not the dirty laundry part. Anyone could buy a beautiful, beflowered, bug-catcher at an auction and bring it home and set it on the kitchen table. But only Hick could expound so uninformedly upon its operating instructions.
HICK: "See, boys? It's a bug catcher. You pour your poison in here, and then you hang it up. When the bugs go in, they can't find their way out. So it catches them, and you don't have bugs."
THE PONY: "Umm...why would bugs go in to get poison?"
GENIUS: "Yeah. And if they eat poison, of course they can't find their way out. Because they've been poisoned. And they're dead."
VAL: "Wouldn't you put sugar-water in there to catch the bugs? Because I'm pretty sure they prefer sugar-water to poison. If you put poison in there, the bugs won't want to go in."
HICK: "Sugar-water, poison...it's the same thing. The bugs go in and get trapped. It's a bug-catcher."
VAL: "Boys, don't ever taste sugar-water for your dad."
And furthermore, after Hick told my mom about his bug-catcher, we warned her never to tell him how pretty it is. Because then she won't just have a cake plate problem and a tiny egg problem, she'll have a bug-catcher problem.
I wonder how bugs would respond to Hick's dirty laundry stuffed up in there.