This afternoon I was waiting for The Pony to get out of his once-a-week after-school Algebra II lesson review. Wouldn't you know, the day I had everything caught up and was ready to leave at 3:15, he was staying an hour later?
Have I mentioned that Hick and The Pony have been sick? Hick has been popping Z-packs and old-timey antibiotics like they're sugar-free candy. He has bronchitis. The Pony came down with a bug on Saturday. He tells me, in a raspy voice, between fits of coughing, that he feels much better now.
So this afternoon, I was catching up on some future work, sneezing every time the air conditioner kicked on, blowing my stuffy nose, clearing my throat, and I started to feel a bit...um...indisposed. My stomach was rumbling like that of Davy Lardass Hogan scarfing up blueberry filling at the Pie Eat, just before he set off the chain of events that resulted in the Ladies Auxiliary barfing all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes.
I wasted no time in scurrying down the hall to the faculty women's restroom which is housed inside the teacher workroom. Yes, no time to waste. And it wasn't a Barf-O-Rama I had a date with. Of course, from the other end of the hall came a colleague. One of my lunch table brethren. OH NO! He's known for his chatfests. I didn't have a moment to spare. I ducked into the workroom before he passed the office. Locked my door behind me, and ensconced myself on the throne.
Dear me. What a predicament. The nature of my...um...indisposement left me vulnerable. One could only hope that Lunch Brother was hard of hearing. Oh, he came in. I heard his footsteps. I heard the tinkle of change, and the thud of the beverage machine. But then I heard nothing. Was he waiting? To chew the fat? Shoot the breeze? I certainly hoped not. I was not comfortable doing my business with him on the other side of one thin concrete-block wall and wooden door. Like Jerry separated from Kramer's boys by one thin layer of gabardine, I was a bit freaked out. And so was the Febreze Air Effects Hawaiian Aloha.
There was no holding back my...um...indisposition. When I exited, I snuck a look over toward the table area. Whew! Lunch Brother was gone. Gone with the mighty wind.
I was in no mood for his rhetorical question of, "Is there really any nutritional value in corn?"