Hick's Election Adventure

Hick got home from election "judging" after 7:30. Of course I was in the middle of a TV show. It's not like I was standing at the door with a pipe and slippers, waiting to greet him.

"You ain't even asked me how my day went!"

"It can wait for commercial."

Seriously. It's not like we can DVR from our ancient DISH receiver in the living room. I'd made it all day without hearing a peep out of Hick, so I figured any "news" could wait five or ten minutes. It could.

"I brung home what was left of the meat tray. It's in the fridge. We was busy the whole time."

"Did you check IDs and have them sign the voter roll book?"

"No. We scanned the IDs, and used tablets. If there was a problem, the person in charge called the county courthouse to check on it. We DID have a notice that one person was dead, so not to allow him to vote."

"Was there enough food? What did other people bring? What about the other man?"

"He brought buns for the pulled pork. One lady brought some baked beans. Another one brought potato salad. And one brought storebought macaroni salad. Somebody brought donuts. There was ten of us. I don't remember what else."

"You said eight before."

"Yeah, but there was more. And 28 percent of the voters registered in that precinct showed up to vote."

When I looked at the meat tray later, some genius had dumped out all the crackers! They came in two clear cellophane cylinders. But now they were all jumbled amongst the little discs of turkey and ham, and squares of cheddar and colby jack. With the plastic lid on top. I took them out and put the crackers in a baggie, which I doubt will help. 

What kind of crazy nut moves meat and cheese from their sections, into a trough where the cracker packets had laid?

I asked Hick the next morning.

"Who dumped out all the crackers to get stale?"

"Not me! I don't know who did it. One of them women! (heh, heh, Hick loyal to the Guy Code) We were all needed to work, and only two of us could go back at a time to eat."

Well. Speaking as a woman, it would never have occurred to ME to dump out two cylinders of crackers. Whether in a bowl or basket near the tray, or onto the tray itself. Speaking as a woman, I understand that crackers will be stale within a couple of hours. Especially in Missouri in August, with temps in the mid-90s, humidity levels sky-high, no matter now "cool" the air conditioner is set.

I'm not pointing the cracker finger at Hick. But let the record show that when he came home from Walmart with his pot-luck foods, he brought in the meat tray and the two packs of cookies. 

"Don't want my cookies to melt in the truck."

"Where are your Hawaiian Rolls?"

"In the truck. They'll be fine till tomorrow."

"No. It's probably over 100 degrees in your truck. They'll get all sweaty and wet."

"Oh. I'll go bring them in, then."

Let's hope Hick is smarter about crackers. Not a big deal. Not much left. We have other crackers. It's just the idea of opening them all at once. I hope "one of them women" didn't leave the potato salad and macaroni salad sitting out all day!