The Way Out of Val's Dog House Is Through Her Stomach

Hick might just have redeemed himself for ridiculing Val's views on his butchery of the exterior of the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house. 

I was perusing the menu Hick brought home from the Senior Center. On Tuesday, they were having

Pulled Pork

Slaw

Tater Babies

Bun

Wedding Cake OR Fruit

"I think I might like you to bring me home a Senior Center lunch for supper."

"Yeah. I just have to call ahead to let them know."

Well. Hick came home with two plastic bags of styrofoam containers. Carrying them all willy-nilly, like a burro loaded for a trip down into the Grand Canyon. Seems Hick also brought himself another lunch for his own supper, even though I was planning to cook something for him. I guess that conveys his opinion of my cooking.

Anyhoo, Hick swore he drove straight home from the Senior Center. I had ordered suggested that he store my lunch/supper in a refrigerator at the flip house before coming home. He usually shows up around 5:00. But on Tuesday, it was 1:00.

A meal costs $4.00 at the Senior Center now. It used to be $3.00. Anyhoo... I took out one of the bags to look inside. The dessert puzzled me.

Well. That did NOT look like any wedding cake I have ever seen! So I looked in the little dessert container for the other lunch/supper.

That was unfortunate! This one looked even worse! I decided that I did not want dessert. (Hick later said  it was some kind of pumpkin dessert.) I checked the lunch/supper container.

Ooh! That was a lot of slaw! In fact, it had leaked out of the container and into the bag while Hick was toting it. I cleaned up the mess, and decided that this must be the container for me!

When I got home from town, Hick was out back working on POOLIO's filter. I told him I set out the container I wanted, due to the slaw.

"Is it creamy slaw? Or the other kind?"

"Looks creamy to me. White juice that leaked out of the container."

"Okay. Because the other kind was a vinegar kind. I don't like that at all! In fact, I don't even want any slaw. Or the tater tots. I just want the sandwich."

"I'll look in the other container to see what kind of slaw. I like the white kind."

Jackpot!!! MORE slaw! Since Hick only wanted the sandwich, I put half the slaw, and half the tater tots into containers for Wednesday. In fact, Hick took some of the pulled pork off his sandwich for me to save, and I did the same with mine. Seems that while eating his first lunch at the Senior Center, an old lady asked Hick if he wanted half her sandwich. He did! So I can understand why he was kind of full for supper. But he still had room for a dessert.

Anyhoo... this was a step towards smoothing Val's ruffled feathers over the Beauty Shop debacle. Hick SAYS he will paint those walls white. And that he has plans for a rock garden out front.

We'll see. Friday's Senior Center lunch sounds tempting...

Just When You Thought It Was Bad Enough

Never underestimate Hick when I comes to bad choices. Oh, he's good with construction knowledge. But aesthetics are his downfall. 

Monday morning, I got a text that elevated my concern for the resale value of the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house.

"Sideing [Hick's spelling, not mine] on front corner. We can figure out color when I have it all on"

WAIT A MINUTE!!! ALL ON??? How much more can Hick lower the value on this property?

"What was wrong with the other siding on the front?"

"It had some holes in it"

Huh. That's news to me! I thought it was fine.

Now we are looking at TWO sides of that little "efficiency cottage" having different siding from the others. I doubt Hick would have gone to this trouble if he just left it as a garage. But drawing attention to an exterior that is not the same for all four sides does not bode well for the asking price. Says Val, an expert in real estate value...

Please, PLEASE let Hick listen to reason for painting that "cedar siding" white, like the rest of that little efficiency cottage!

It boggles my mind to put all this work and money into such a property, and then cut corners at the end, just for Hick's ego.

At the Risk of Making Good-Guy Hick Unpopular

I know Hick only has sight in one eye, but how can he be so blind??? I told him I put up a picture of the Beauty Shop with that "cedar siding," and that the opinions of "my people" were not favorable.

"All my buddies say it looks good!"

"My people say it looks bad!"

I elaborated a bit about the specifics.

"Huh. Where are they from?"

"What, like it's good enough for the denizens of Backroads?"

"Like I said, my buddies like it."

"That's another thing. Of course your buddies are not going to criticize something you've done. They're your buddies!"

"I told you I was doing it, and you said it was fine."

"NO! I did NOT! I hate that stuff! Why would I say it was fine? I didn't even like it on The Pony's house! You did NOT ask me about this. Last I heard, you were going to patch that white vinyl siding. You SAID you asked The Pony, and he said it was fine. I haven't asked The Pony if that's true."

"You said it was okay."

"No! I didn't. It will lower the price we can get on this property. It's not worth doing this to save us each a couple hundred dollars on materials. You need to ask a realtor about it!"

"I'll do just that! I'm hoping to have it ready to list with a realtor by the end of this week."

"Fine! We'll see what they say. Since you won't listen to me and my people!"

I can't believe a licensed realtor will agree with Hick that this siding is fine! I'm not even sure that Hick will actually paint it white, to somewhat camouflage this shortcut! Since he kept saying that it wasn't yet stained!

What in the Not-Heaven is Hick thinking??? Is his ego getting in the way of common sense?

Further discussion with Hick (quite unproductive), informed me that:

I don't know nothin'. 

I never get out. 

A house one street down from ours has the front a different color than the rest.

Out on the highway, a new subdivision has houses with different colored sides.

All the old ladies at the Senior Center like this "cedar siding."

The house-flipper lady at the Senior Center asked what color stain Hick planned to use.

You can't tell me nothin'.

Of course Hick will ask a realtor about the "cedar siding" affecting the value.

Hick is planning to make that side and the front the same color!?!?

I criticize everything Hick does. 

I can just do it myself if I don't like it.

Hmm. Seems as if my input is not well-received...

Please, For the Love of All That Is Not Hick-Enabling, Give Your Honest Opinion

Hick has been working on the outside of the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s). He fixed the handrail on the wooden sidewalk.

Not a major overhaul, but there's a rail to hold onto while walking if you need it.

Hick is patching the siding where he removed a window. Except he's NOT! Not patching with vinyl siding like he originally told me after taking out that window.

HICK IS USING THE CHEAP CEDAR SIDING THAT HE PUT ON THE BACK OF PONY HOUSE, after I disagreed on such material!

I refuse to blow smoke up Hick's rumpus like his cronies! I think this looks terrible! It doesn't match. It's not an "accent wall." It looks like a cheap patch job. Like there was a fire, or a car drove through the side of the house, and now it must be boarded up!

Hick says, "All my buddies like it." Sure. All his buddies who kiss his rumpus in case he might throw some of his hoard their way if they need it, or wish to sell it at their own storage unit stores. I can't even believe this material is called siding! It looks like cheap (well, not-so-cheap these days) plywood. Not meant for a permanent surface on the outside of a house!

"Rail looks good. Siding is *interesting.* Can you at least paint it white? So it's less noticeable?"

"It can be painted or stained whatever color we want."

NOW Hick is saying that he likes the wood color, since his buddies say it looks good.

What say you?

The Saddle is Back on The Pony

After spraining his ankle at work last Tuesday, The Pony had a regular day off Wednesday, then took three days of leave per the ER doctor's instructions on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Sunday was a regular day off. The doctor's note said he could return to work Monday, barring any complications or increase in pain.

On Monday morning, The Pony's ankle still showed marked swelling.

Of course I didn't want to phrase it like that. "Still a little puffy."

By 10:30, The Pony reported that most of the mail did not show up. "It's not exactly fun today, but the dps didn't show up, so, it's a nice gentle introduction back. Pretty sure if I take my shoe off there's no getting it back on, though. Not having letters means I can be gentler on the leg."

Yes. That WAS fortunate, since it meant The Pony would not have to climb steps to every porch, but mainly deliver to businesses, for packages. The Pony sent a picture of his shod feet:

"The wrap definitely contributes a little but you can see how much wider the right shoe is."

By 3:19, The Pony was off work. "Off early from no dps. Headed home to shower. My ankle is OUCH. My toes are mildly concerning."

"That's just the old blood ready to get absorbed. No need to worry."

"Yeah. If there was any hint of weird or lost sensation or motor control, I'd be much more worried. But my guess is that however I fell, that section and the connecting stuff was a lot of what got messed up. That leg was tucked in under me with the foot bent flat."

On Tuesday, The Pony reported at noon that "Foot is definitely hurting more as I walk today."

When he got off work at 5:15, The Pony sent a couple pictures.

"Where did you take that picture?"

"Work. I took off my shoe while sitting down to change into sandals."

"I think the brace is keeping the swelling down while working."

"Yeah. Just not real happy to be that compressed. It puffed up a bit instantly and felt a bit less painful."

SO, The Pony seems to be on the mend. A day off Wednesday came at the right time. Now it's the grind of summer heat again.

Travels With My Placard: IT LIVES!

I was surprised by a sight at 10Box this week. My trusty handicap placard and T-Hoe and I had nabbed the closest handicap space on the right side of the doors. Other cars were taking up the left side spaces. When I came out, a couple of them had left. And I observed the most magnificent sight!

Look! It's a 4-wheeler, parked in a handicap space, not on the sidewalk, not in the striped area! It appears to be legally parked. AND IT IS!!!

Look closer! IT HAS A HANDICAP PLACARD!!!

Yes, it appears that such a thing DOES exist. Or at least someone has taken their car placard to use when they drive the 4-wheeler to town. I know that when I filled out my paperwork to get a placard for T-Hoe, and A-Cad, I had to put the car make and model on the application.

MOST days I'm surprised by drivers and parkers, but it is usually not PLEASANTLY.

The Universe Throws Val a Bone

I went to the lottery machines in 10Box on Wednesday. I got my intended tickets from the left machine. Just as I finished a lady stepped up to the right machine. Well. That meant I had to wait to cash in my winner and get tickets out of that one. She didn't take too long. She was probably in her 50s. A stick of a woman, with bleached blond hair, wearing black tights and flip-flops. I thought nothing of it, just waited my turn.

I scanned my winner, and made my selections. When I was picking them up out of the trough, I got my $3 ticket, my $5 crossword, and then my $10 ticket. WAIT A MINUTE! What was that behind my $10 ticket? Huh. It was a $5 Silver 7s ticket. I don't play those. Occasionally, I send one to Genius. Well. 

In the past, I've told the cashiers when I found a ticket in the machine. They said there's not really anything they can do about it. So I've left the tickets in the trough, just in case the buyer came back to look for it. I've also mentioned how I've been missing tickets from these machines. The tickets seem to get stuck, and don't fall into the trough. I've since made sure to look over my tickets before leaving. And swipe my hand up in the falling area of the trough.

This time, I took that ticket. I considered it payback for the several that I've missed.

On my way out, I looked for the Stick Woman. She was way down the parking spaces, almost at the end, getting into her car. I had nabbed the closest handicap space. I figured she wouldn't hear or respond if I started hollering, "Ma'am! Ma'am!" 

I climbed into T-Hoe, and sat for a few minutes, writing on the back so I knew where my tickets came from. It doesn't pay to buy the same ticket at the same place soon after having a winner. Better safe than sorry. I figured that if Stick Woman came walking back to enter the store, I would put down my window and holler to ask if she was missing a ticket

Stick woman never came back. After a few minutes, she left her parking space. It might not even have been her ticket. Who knows how long that ticket had been hanging up, until my $10 ticket came down that side and knocked it loose.

Anyhoo... I scratched that Silver 7s ticket. It was a loser. So I didn't really defraud anybody out of a winner. I did them a favor, really! I did their scratching, to uncover a loser...

At least The Universe threw me that bone. Although a dry bone that might have been baking in a desert for years, or buried by a dog for a century. 

Thanks, Universe. It's the thought that counts.

Too Soon! Too Soon! Val Blogs, The Universe Laughs.

Welp! I certainly regret sharing yesterday's views of the mostly-finished Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s). I normally wait until something is pretty much a done deal before I share it here. No jinxes, you know.

I typed up that Beauty Shop tale on Monday afternoon, around 2:30. Which I found out later was the time Hick was leaving there to come home and mow the acreage here with his beloved new zero-turn mower.

Tuesday morning, Hick and Old Buddy arrived at the Beauty Shop to find water all over the floor! One of the most recent things they'd done was to install a water heater. Old Buddy had done that job. I think maybe it was last week, since they don't work Friday-Sunday, and Old Buddy had texted-in sick on Monday.

Anyhoo... Hick was doing a few things there Monday. Everything was fine when he left. But between 2:30 Monday afternoon, and 7:00 a.m. Tuesday, the water heater couplings sprung a leak. Hick had to cut out a section of drywall to find the problem. Seems the couplings required crimping, which Old Buddy had not done. 

They mopped up the water with a pile of Hick's rags. Got the couplings corrected. Hick put a fan blowing on the floor, and left the air conditioner on, in hopes of drying out any remaining damage. He says patching the drywall section is not an issue, but if the floor warps, it will have to be replaced.

Oh, and with the water continuously running for however many hours, and the water heater trying to heat it, the water bill and electric bill are going to be high. Hick doesn't know how long the water was flowing. Says it could have started right after he left, or an hour before they got there. No way to tell.

Oh, well. It's only money. Not like anybody got hurt. Just a setback. I have not yet broken the news to The Pony, who will be harder-affected by his half of the increased bills next month.

Not Such a Beauty, But Surely Efficient

Hick is making progress on the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s). This month he's gotten the kitchen mostly ready. It still needs some "dry mudding," and paint. Don't even ask about the dry mudding. I assume that is to patch some holes or crevices before painting.

With such limited space, Hick has trouble finding room to keep his tools. On July 2, he and Old Buddy put in the upper kitchen cabinets.

I'm sure you see what I mean about the tools.

July 11 was a productive day. The lower cabinets, countertop, and sink went in.

The lower cabinets were the right size, though not an exact match. A stain will help with the color. Also, the floor installation was underway here.

Here's the "breakfast bar" that will serve for eating, since the place isn't really big enough for a kitchen table. Not if the resident wants to have a living room. Obviously, the door to the bedroom needs paint (and a doorknob). The other stuff in there is the flooring material.

The finished floor. It's coming along. Just waiting for a stove...

At last! The $150 stove has been installed, as of July 18, and is working. The kitchen sink has its hardware, and the water has been turned on. I told Hick I think that refrigerator door is awkward, and needs to open the other way, but he said it would hit the wall. Efficiency-renters can't be choosers, I suppose.

Here was another bone of contention: stove versus cooktop. Hick originally planned on a cooktop, and a microwave. I think his reasoning was to get more cabinet space. I disagreed. Anybody who rents/lives in an efficiency unit is like to be young and single, or maybe a mom with a toddler. They need an oven, by cracky! Nobody wants pizza, fries, or fish sticks warmed in a microwave! Think about what the resident would be eating. The Pony agreed with me. So we won the stove battle. It's easier for the resident to provide their own microwave than a stove.

Hick was hoping to be finished by the end of July. Not so sure that will happen. Old Buddy "texted in sick" on Monday. Hick was going to try doing a few things himself.

It's not the Taj Mahal. It's an efficiency cottage. Making the Double Hovel property more enticing to a buyer than just a garage to go with the main house. It's an income-producer to help with the mortgage payments.

The Stove Saga Heats Up

You may recall that Hick was hot on the trail of a $150 used glass top stove that he found on Facebook. There were some inconsistencies with the location, and responses from the seller.

After a text Wednesday evening at 7:30 saying he could pick it up THEN, Hick set up a time of 10:00 a.m. Thursday to go get that stove, which was located in Sis-Town, not far from the Casey's where I get T-Hoe's gas.

At 11:42 on Thursday, Hick sent me a picture of that stove, IN THE BEAUTY SHOP KITCHEN! 

I will share that progress in a day or two.

"Stove in and it works."

That was a relief for me. One more step towards getting that last half of the Double Hovel flip house ready to sell. When Hick got home that evening, he had more to say about the stove transaction.

"I was having my lunch at the Senior Center just before noon, and that stove lady called me. She said, 'I guess you're running late?' And I said, 'No. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I already picked up the stove. At 10:00.'"

"Did you go to the right house??? Maybe you got somebody else's stove!"

"No. I went to the address she texted me. There was a man and a woman there. I gave them the money, and Old Buddy and I loaded up the stove. It was done, as far as I was concerned."

"Was it a rental house? Or maybe a flip house?"

"I don't know. All I know is that a man and woman in the house took my money, and gave me a stove."

"What if they didn't give her the money? Maybe something weird is going on."

"I don't know. But I paid for a stove, and I got a stove. She didn't say no more about it after I said I already had the stove."

Huh. A strange transaction indeed. Sounds to me like maybe the seller was selling a stove out of a rental house. Thus the changing times for pick-up, like when the residents were there. And it could explain why the seller thought Hick hadn't been to get the stove yet.

I hope nobody crazy put a tracker on that stove, and plans to come repossess it!

A Chronicle of The Pony's Latest Lameness

Be forewarned, there are a lot of FOOT pictures here! If you hate feet as much as Val, you may not want to read further...

Since The Pony sprained his ankle at work on Tuesday around noon, he has kept us updated on his progress. The ER doctor said The Pony might be ready to return to work on Monday, unless his ankle felt worse. The x-rays pointed to a sprain, not a break. The Pony was given crutches and prescription painkillers, told to stay off it for a couple of days.

Wednesday, the day after the injury, The Pony's ankle looked like this:

"Unwrapped for a bath. Doctor was specific that I could unwrap and redo the air splint and stuff. Right side is pretty swollen, left side is barely."

"It will bruise more, but bath jets will help carry away damaged cells."

"Careful tests with the crutches show it can hold weight, but bending the ankle is still painful. But has me hopeful!" 

"Yeah. Gently try to keep your range of motion. Maybe tomorrow try some figure 8s with it elevated. The ICE (ice, compression, elevation) is only for the first 48 hours, I think."

"Yeah. I've used it off and on today, mostly elevation."

On Thursday, my prediction proved true. More bruising.

"This morning."

"Colorful. Still swollen. Maybe try moving it around this evening."

By afternoon:

"Another warm bath. Trying to do the figure 8s like you suggested. Trying not to take the pain med, but stumbled earlier and aggravated it."

"You'll delay your healing with careless stumbling. And need the Delores [woman at worker's comp who delayed The Pony's broken ankle claim by not responding in a timely manner] doctor! You have ONE JOB! To protect and heal that ankle, heh, heh!"

"I know, I know, I know. I was on the crutches! I'm just so sore from being out of practice and using them on the other foot."

"That is concerning in itself."

"I knowwww."

Friday around noon:

"Foot update. Gonna try a shower and see if I can drive today."

"Be careful. It won't hurt to take the pain med when you get home if it hurts. But you should try using your ankle to get it moving again. Athletes tape up sprained ankles and play on them."

"I know. I really want to get back to work on Monday. I don't want to deal with Delores or getting sent to a doctor just to be told 'yeah, you're fine.' Honestly I'm confused at the bruises on the toe, more than the overall discoloration of the foot."

"Blood seeks gravity. Also, you might have bent your toes back while falling on the step. If you can stand it, walking on it with crutches might help work out the fluid. Just putting light pressure on it while walking with crutches."

"Yeah. Definitely gotta have those with me, just in case."

"This spot right here is what's still actually painful to touch and where most of the pain when I bend it or use it comes from."

"I guess that's the most damaged area. The ligaments around the lateral malleolus, maybe? Not sure if a tendon attaches there."

"Could be. Getting ready to leave. Foot is too swollen to fit in my shoe. Or at least, to get into without tears level pain while I have the ankle brace on."

Let the record show that The Pony wore a regular shoe on the left foot, and a slide on the right. Making a crutchy fashion statement.

"Talked to manager. Since the doctor's note said the 22nd, I'm good to at least try to go back then. So that's a big weight off my shoulders."

Saturday, there were signs of progress:

"That actually looks pretty good."

We'll see how it feels on Monday. The Pony has a brace he got at the drugstore when he picked up his prescription. It's a tough job to jump back into on a sprained ankle. The main concern being another injury while it's not fully healed and stable.

Hick the Do-Gooder Does Good Again

Hick reported on Thursday that one of his buddies took a tumble. It's the guy Hick installed the "90-degree angle" plumbing pipes for. Where he sent Old Buddy under the house to crawl around in leaked sewage from the faulty pipes.

Anyhoo... Fallen Guy skinned up and bruised his knees, and cut his head in the fall. Hick told Fallen Guy that he thought he had a walker to loan him. The walker from his back surgery. Unfortunately, Hick's memory was not clear on that walker. Turns out it was NOT here, since Hick had previously loaned it to Fallen Guy for his wife to use, who tthen returned it, and Hick donated it to a Lions Club in a town where he goes to the auction.

"I felt bad that I didn't have that walker to loan him. So we went by the Habitat For Humanity place, and they had walkers for $20. So I bought one for Fallen Guy."

I don't doubt that Hick would spend $20 to get a walker for Fallen Guy. I just didn't know that Habitat For Humanity was in the business of selling walkers. Hick told me where it's located, but I didn't know about that. I suppose maybe they have a thrift store where they sell items that are donated.

Anyhoo... Hick made sure that Fallen Guy had a way to ambulate without falling, until he's recovered enough to get around on his own.

That's our Hick.

Travels With My Placard: The Repeat Offender

My placard and I were shut out of our rightful handicap parking space Wednesday at the Gas Station Chicken Store. It was that lady in a red car again. "WHAT lady in a red car?" you might ask. We'll get to that!

I drove around the diesel pumps and came in the other way, parking T-Hoe nose-down in the FREE AIR hose space.

There she was, sitting in her car, no handicap plate, no placard. Squatting there! On pavement that didn't rightfully belong to her! I had no recourse but to get out and hobble around her car. Well. Other than go for a drive, park and wait, or not get scratchers. Those were NOT viable options for Val! [Pardon T-Hoe's dusty interior. We live a mile up a gravel road, you know.]

THEN she had the nerve to come back inside, stand at my shoulder during my transaction, and ask if you could purchase scratchers with a debit card. You can. But not with a credit card, FYI.

Anyhoo... that gal then came back out, and sat there some more. Which is when I took this picture.

I don't begrudge an elderly a "quick" trip inside to buy scratchers. But there's really no need to TAKE UP THE HANDICAP SPACE for your scratching pleasure.

Making it worse is the fact that this lady is a repeat offender!

Shame her! She didn't even have the decency to look up and SEE ME TAKE HER PICTURE! In fact, she might be trying to play dead, or play stroke, for sympathy. Though in reality, she's just looking down at her scratchers, while sitting in the 97-degree heat, blocking that space for any verified handicapped person.

Yes. SHAME HER! She has done this before! A mere two months ago! I have the evidence right here, when I voiced (wrote?) my displeasure on my supersecret blog.

At Long Last, the Soup

You may recall that on July 1st, The Pony had to walk to work, due to the streets around the post office being closed for a festival. He was hoping to walk by the store on his way home, for ingredients to make some soup mix he had previously picked up at his favorite wine store.

As luck would have it that day (a small gesture from The Universe), a co-worker from a rural route offered to drop The Pony off at home, so no shopping was done.

That soup has been on The Pony's mind for a while. Sunday, his day off, he had the time and ingredients to get that soup simmering. It was not an event without drama, though.

"Ahhhh I wanna cry. I ran a nice warm bath, and was just waiting for a grocery delivery before getting in. [Remember, the street crew had their vehicles blocking The Pony's exit from his driveway.] The drain apparently had only partly closed, so the water just trickled out after it had already filled up, and was gone by the time I went for it. So instead I'm making soup now."

First was the browning of the sausage. I think that must be garlic in there with it.

Then the addition of the liquid parts. And butter. I'm pretty sure that's butter. The Pony is a butter-lover.

There it is, all simmered for a couple hours. Looks like it just needs a good stir. But wait! The Pony does not live by soup alone. He had also picked up some bread mix.

Looks like it would go well with Cheese Tortellini Soup! But Pony, it's time to re-do the nail polish!

Let the record show that Hick and I owe The Pony a breadmaker. It was on the Christmas list way back when The Pony was at college in Oklahoma. He had a standing permission to get on my Amazon account and order one. Or get one in a store, with reimbursement to follow. Yet The Pony never got around to acquiring this appliance. This breadmaking venture used the mini loaf pan that went home with The Pony containing my banana bread.

Oh, yes. I was horrified by this picture!!!

"Yeah. Maybe slightly too much batter/melted butter on top. It's fine! It's fine!" 

[Well. Except for referring to dough as batter!]

The finished product looked better than I expected.

"Gotta cool for 10 minutes."

"You know you're trying those crumbs ahead of time!"

"I did! I also forked a bit out to test the center. Soup is too hot to taste. Owie!"

"Oh, no! Don't char your taste buds!"

"Just one. Soothed by a Mexican Coke!"

"Patience. Anticipaaaaaaation."

The bread looks perfectly edible, turned out of its mini foil loaf pan.

"Soup is sooo hottttt! I've burned my tongue so many times! Ahhhhh! But very good."

So that's the soup saga. At least The Pony has that pot of soup for feeding while off work with his sprained ankle. I sent him some hillbilly Tupperware to use for freezing some of it. I don't think even The Pony could eat a whole pot of soup in four days.

The Pony Just Can't Catch a Break

That's a good thing, really! It could be much worse...

I cut my Tuesday morning call with The Pony short, to get some stuff ready for Hick to drop off at his house. The next I heard, The Pony was bemoaning the unexpected deluge that plagued both Backroads and Sis-Town.

"So much for 'light rain.' This is gonna be Not-Heavenish."

"Yeah. Hopefully, it moves across. My TV has been off for 20 minutes now. And a parial power flicker. So now the TV satellite is reloading, and my non-working printer is running a test page."

Well, that heavy rain and lightning and thunder continued. At 1:53, I got another text from The Pony.

"Do you have time to call?"

Of course!!! I called right back.

"Hello?"

"Uh, is this Pony?"

"No. It's me. On Pony's phone. We're at the hospital."

"NOOOO! Is Pony okay?"

"Yeah. The doctor just came back. He's got a sprained ankle."

"Oh, no! Worker's comp?"

"Yeah. The manager brought over the paperwork to the ER. Pony can call you when we leave."

Well. That was NOT how I wanted my day to go. And I'm pretty sure The Pony didn't want that, either. I got more details (but not all) about an hour later.

"We didn't want to call you right away, because we knew you'd be worried. I slipped and sprained my ankle. Dad came to get me. I was afraid it was broken, because I heard a pop. But the doctor said he didn't see anything, and then the radiologist looked at it, and said it's okay. I should elevate it for a few days, but I might be able to go back to work on Monday. If it doesn't feel right, I need to make an appointment with a worker's comp doctor, to see about restrictions. I hope that isn't necessary. I don't want to deal with that again!

Dad and I are headed over to Bill-Paying Town to my pharmacy, to get the hydrocodone prescription for pain. It isn't too bad, as long as I don't move my ankle. About a 3/10. It only hurts if I try to stand on it, or move it. They gave me crutches, because Dad and I don't remember if I put the other ones in my room at home, or in the closet at my house. I have a removable partial cast thingy that I can take off and put back on. I'm supposed to elevate it. I'll get an ankle brace thing while I'm at the pharmacy, to wear to work when I go back. I'm hoping I can return on Monday. Maybe they can give me light duty like just packages for a few days, instead of walking 11 miles."

"I'm glad you feel okay, but you'll probably need to get a worker's comp doctor's note for light duty."

"Yeah. Hopefully I'll be ready to go back. There's one other person right now that's on just packages."

"Thanks for not worrying me, but I was thinking of you all day anyway because of the rain."

Anyhoo... the pharmacy was going to take 45 minutes, so Hick and The Pony went to eat lunch (for The Pony) and an early supper (for Hick) at Captain D's

I am thankful that The Pony was not injured worse than a sprained ankle. The Universe surely has it in for him lately. Since Saturday, the road beside his house has been blocked, because of a water main break. So The Pony can't get his car out, and has been walking to work. I suppose Hick can take him anything he needs, or The Pony can call for delivery.

Really. A sprained ankle is minor, compared to what could have happened.

It's Probably For the Best

Sunday night, Hick showed me a stove he found on Facebook for the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s). He's nearing completion. It was a glass-top stove for $150. Looked decent enough, presuming it did, indeed, work.

"She finally got back to me on it. She had said she was in [town by our lot in a local lake development]. But now she says she really lives in Sis-Town. And that she doesn't want to give out her address, but to text her an hour before I want to pick it up, and she will tell me where."

"Well. I can see how she might not want to give out her address. So I guess that's okay."

"Yeah. It's a good deal on the stove."

Well. On Monday, Hick tried to go buy that stove. And the lady never responded. That's okay. Hick saw several stoves available in the area, for around the same price. It's just the stringing-along that's annoying. 

That woman could have said she already sold the stove. Or that she changed her mind. Or that she didn't feel comfortable with the sale. No need to PRETEND that she was going to let Hick buy that stove!

What in the Not-Heaven is wrong with people these days???

Hick Dips a Toe!

Mark the calendar! Hick got into POOLIO on Sunday!

Mid-morning, Hick sent me a text that it was 90 degrees outside, and 98 on the back wall of his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2).

"You might want to come home early, and have a swim!"

"I think I'm going to water looks fine"

Hick arrived home around 2:30. He was puttering outside when I got in the shower before town. When I got out, I found Hick sitting on the deck he built for POOLIO. Scarlett was down there with him, and little Jack was whining on the back porch, at the top of the stairs. Let the record show that Hick's swim trunks were hanging on the bathroom door. And his shoes, socks, shorts, and shirt were piled on the floor in front of the long couch. At least Hick was sporting his tighty-whities, and not going au naturale.

"Did Scarlett try to get in with you?"

"No. She dipped a foot in, but laid down to wait."

"Poor Jack. He's whining."

"He won't come down the steps."

"He could fall through the open parts!"

"Jack doesn't have any trouble with the porch steps. I don't know why he won't come down."

Well. It could be because Hick is not a master of making steps. Jack could easily fall through the gaps. He doesn't even like Hick all that much! Maybe he only wanted Scarlett, not Hick!

Anyhoo... Hick said he was in POOLIO for about an hour. He was not on a floatie, which I had suggested he pick up on the way home. You know, the previous ones being two years old. So I asked what he did.

"I floated around. That old air mattress that I used to lay on still had air in the pillow. So I rolled up the rest of it and put the pillow under my arms and floated around."

Seriously. Hick could spend a dollar or five on a new air mattress!

Even Steven Gets Evan

A calamity of horrifying proportions occurred Friday evening on the sidewalk near the side porch. I had just returned home from a small shopping trip at 10Box. Nearing the prison, I had seen Hick in SilverRedO waiting to pull out from the side road by Mick the Mechanic's shop. Oh, what good fortune that was! Hick would be trapped into helping me carry groceries inside!

I was giddy with anticipation. Watching in my mirror to affirm this pleasant turn of events. Hick had said he would be home later, supposedly meeting a guy at his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2). Yet there he was, obviously headed home at the same time I was! With groceries to unload! Yes, I was sure it was Hick. He has so much junk mail strewn across SilverRedO's dashboard that I know it's not some other random red truck.

Anyhoo... Hick seemed to be lagging. He is not a slow driver, despite covering as much side-to-side distance as forward progress, due to his sweaving. I wondered if maybe he was hoping I hadn't seen him. I was walking to T-Hoe's rear in the garage when I heard Hick slam SilverRedO's door. I had to holler to him TWICE before he answered! Seems like he was trying to sneak in without me seeing him! He came through the people-door and back to T-Hoe's hatch.

"You go ahead and take those bags. I'm getting the one with the bananas. I don't want them smashed."

Hick scooped up six bags, with some frozen items, canned tuna, refried beans, slaw mix, cereal, and batteries. I took the bananas, and a bag left over from a previous trip to Country Mart. It contained a bottle of Evan Williams whiskey. They don't have Hick's preferred Wild Turkey 101 at Country Mart or 10Box, except in a smaller bottle. A big bottle of Evan Williams costs the same as a small one of Wild Turkey 101. When Hick makes a trip to Walmart, he can get himself a jug of Wild Turkey. I don't go in Walmart, so I try to get our money's worth at the store! Whiskey is whiskey, I say!

Anyhoo... I had my purse looped over my right arm, and the bananas, and the Evan Williams, while gripping my metal water bottle with my right hand. I used my left hand to close T-Hoe's hatch, then the garage door, then the people-door. Standing at the side porch petting Jack, while Scarlett was bounding around the kitchen door seeking the object of her adoration... tragedy struck!

My right arm felt suddenly lighter, and I heard a CRASH!!!

The bottom seam of the plastic bag holding Evan Williams had split completely. Evan was busted on the sidewalk, his life fluids spreading across the concrete, Hick's brick sidewalk that branches off to the carport, and seeping into the dirt!

"NOOOO!!! Evan Williams has broken his neck on the sidewalk! And the rest of his body, too! The bag split open!"

Hick came out to see about the commotion. 

"I don't want the dogs to get cut! It's mostly big pieces. I don't think they can get at the alcohol. It's all soaked into the ground now."

"I'll get a box and pick up the glass." Said my hero, Hick. Who was closely supervised in this task by his shadow, Scarlett.

I don't know what I was thinking. I always double-bag heavy items, or glass items. But Evan had been bagged by the checkout gal in Country Mart last week. Plus, I don't carry glass items on my arm, but squeeze them between my arm and my body while carrying them in. I've done this ever since a bag split, and I lost a jar of Alfredo Sauce, that I had to clean up from the garage floor. I must have (temporarily) lost my mind. There were only two bags I was responsible for!

I suppose Even Steven had to equalize my recent stroke of luck, winning the MOLottery weekly contest $300 drawing. My half of that (not cheating The Pony out of his share) would buy a lot of Wild Turkey 101. And even more Evan Williams.

Misery Loves Company and Rumpuses

Thursday being my errand day, I was over in Sis-Town, pumping gas into T-Hoe at Casey's, when I heard my phone ring. It was on the console. I was just about to uncouple the gas nozzle, so I didn't rush to answer. I've been getting a lot of scam calls lately. I figured if it was important (or not) they'd leave a voicemail.

Imagine my panic when I got into the driver's seat, and saw that call was from The Pony. It was 4:18. So either The Pony was off work, or had encountered a calamity at the end of his route. I tried to call back. No answer. Then a voicemail came up. 

This was even more worrying! It was garbled. I could only make out a word here and there. More of a connection issue than a speech problem, it sounded like. So I was hoping it represented a lack of service, rather than The Pony slowly losing consciousness from a knock to the noggin in a fall or attack, or loss of blood from a canine chomp. Yes. I know. I'm entirely too invested in The Pony's work habits, job hazards, and minute-to-minute health!

I told myself this must be nothing. Yet the voicemail went on and on! A word or two here and there. Then all at once, "Huh? I didn't... HELLO! HELLO! Are you there?"

Of course I answered. Surely you don't think an electronics ignoramus like Val understands that you can't talk to a voicemail!

Then I got a text. "I buttdialed you I'm so sorry!"

"Okay. I was listening to a garbled voicemail."

"Yeah. Somehow you got dialed while I was talking to a co-worker and walking down the office stairs. I checked my phone when I got to the car, and it said I was having a two-minute conversation. So I cut it off."

You know the CCA that started when I did? And got let go, but got a job at another post office, and helps out here a lot now? Well, she got bitten by a dog! As in, she was on the phone with a manager when I came in. She got nipped on the ass! Is being stubborn like me and not wanting to go to a doctor, it sounded like. That's what I was talking to the other worker about."

"Oh no! Now she will have to take pictures of her rumpus!"

On our phone call Friday morning, The Pony said he had tried to text her that evening, but maybe she changed her number since leaving this office.

"Or maybe she was at the doctor, or dealing with paperwork, from the bite."

I guess that bitten worker had time to return The Pony's text before work, because around 7:30, The Pony sent me another text.

"I have now officially seen a coworker's ass. And I cringed in sympathetic pain, because that bite looks painful and is already hella bruised."

For some reason, that Queen song is playing in my head. You know, "Another One Bites the Butt."

POOLIO, We Hardly Fixed Ye

Don't let the title fool you. POOLIO is not yet fixed! The water is mostly clear now, and free of dead squirrels, with only a couple leaves on top. Hick goes out every night to fiddle about with POOLIO. The current problem is the filter. Hick tired of tinkering with it, and went back to the pool store.

"Are you going to be able to swim in the pool before it's time to close it for the winter?"

"I hope so! I can't get the filter to work. It won't stay running. The guy at the pool store said it sounds like it needs a gasket. So I bought one. I've got to put it on."

The weather calls for a week of temperatures in the upper 90s, heat index over 100. That does not bode well for poor Pony on the job, but would be ideal for Hick to slosh around in POOLIO in the evenings, after a hard day of working four hours on the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house, or ten hours of sitting in his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2) on the weekend.

The current total for getting POOLIO ready for swimming is $228.52. This is July 12th. How much will each dip cost Hick, by the time he has POOLIO perfected for his swimming needs?

Val Thevictorian Is the New PigPen, and That's NOT Dirt Surrounding Her

Some people just go about their daily business, and things are drawn to them. Like Charlie Brown's pal PigPen and his dirt cloud. Or perhaps Hick, with his bargains. With Val, it's LUCK.

Tuesday afternoon, I was sitting at the kitchen table with HIPPIE, waiting for time to pass, and the drenching rains of the remnants of Texas hurricane Beryl to clear on out. The radar looked like that might happen around 4:00. I was in no hurry. Just finishing up my usual internet activities, getting ready for a nap on our new $200 mattress, then a shower, and hopefully a dry trip to town.

As I closed out HIPPIE's open windows, I heard an email come in on my phone. Probably more scammers, like the one from AARP who calls me Gloria, and says my credit card is automatically being charged for a year's membership, listing a credit card number that's not mine, and providing a convenient link if I want to update my information, or opt out of this action. Heh, heh! Not today, AARP!

Anyhoo... in checking my phone, I saw that this newest email was from PROMOTIONS. Huh. Likely another scam. When I opened it to see the entity wanting to promote me, I saw this:

_______________________________________________________________

Missouri Lottery Choose Your Dream Adventure: Weekly Cash Drawings Winner

Val,

Congratulations! You have won a prize in the Choose Your Dream Adventure: Weekly Cash Drawings Promotion!

All the details can be found in your My Lottery Players Club account. To view, log into your account... blah blah blah.

________________________________________________________________

Well! This seemed legit (though I get scammy notices for winning sometimes, also to GLORIA, from some lottery in the UK). Indeed, MOLottery has such a "Choose Your Dream" contest running this summer. 

________________________________________________________________

CHOOSE YOUR DREAM ADVENTURE: WEEKLY CASH DRAWINGS

Each week during the promotion, the Missouri Lottery will award 50 winners $300 cash. 

The weekly cash drawings will include all eligible tickets submitted during a given week. Players will receive one entry for every dollar’s worth of tickets submitted (For example, a $5 ticket equals five entries into the Choose Your Dream Adventure drawing). Entries from the weekly drawings will not carry over from week to week. However, these entries will count toward their $10 requirement into their choice of Dream Vacation or Dream Green drawings. 

_________________________________________________________________

I don't normally scan in my tickets these days, because the app is woefully hard to navigate, and time-consuming. They no longer have prizes you can purchase with accumulated points. Only electronic subscriptions, or gift cards. However, I DO enter big tickets such as when The Pony saves up and gets a $50 ticket, or when I celebrate a big win by taking a chance on a $30. There is a different contest for those big tickets, with three drawings a year. I've always told The Pony that I would split any such winnings with him 50/50, since he plays the big tickets occasionally, and gives them to me for scanning.

Anyhoo... I fired HIPPIE up again, to go to the MOLottery website, log in, and check this out. My account DID show that I was a winner in the latest weekly drawing. That's $300 !!! Just for scanning in tickets (which can be winners or losers). Of course, I will be giving The Pony half of it. 

In reading all the requirements, it seems that MOLottery notifies winners by email, and by regular mail, at the addresses they have listed in their account information. I will have to fill out and return a promotional form, and then MOLottery will mail me a check. Sounds like the procedure when I have to claim a big winner at the lottery office.

So, in case you have the attention span of a goldfish, what I'm saying here is that 

I WON $300 IN A DRAWING FROM THE MISSOURI LOTTERY!

Which I will split 50/50 with The Pony.

There are six more weeks left of these weekly cash drawings. You can bet (Disclaimer: Val does NOT encourage gambling!) your bottom dollar that I will be scanning all my tickets during those six weeks.