Wednesday, December 20, 2023

A Perfect Trap For Catching Unsuspecting Elderlies

As if tempting me with top-shelf, full-boxed Fake Honey Nut Cheerios was not enough...

Monday, I stopped in the Sis-Town Country Mart for the $8.99 dark meat chicken special. Gotta find my yardbird somewhere else, ever since the Gas Station Chicken Store closed their kitchen a few years ago. 

Also on my list were a few things I need for Christmas festivities. Like two boxes of Ritz Crackers to go with the cheese and sausage that we give HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) and The Veteran. And soda for our Christmas dinner. I get the 2-liter bottles for that. Usually, we only have individual bottles for Hick, and the cans of Shasta or Best Choice Diet Cola for me. 

Well! Imagine my surprise to see that soda was on sale! I was planning to get three bottles anyway: Coke, Diet Coke, and Sprite.


Does anybody besides 5'8" Val Thevictorian see a problem here? The mini Cokes and Sprites are at my eye level. The bottles I desired, those of the 3 for 5 sale, were on the top shelf. Above my head! And necessitated lifting those heavy bottles over their little fence.

Let the record show that Val's arthritic hands sometimes don't want to grip properly. They still work better than Hick's bent fingers. But they don't have the strength they used to possess. Also, tilting my head back often results in a flash of dizziness, which makes me unsteady on my feet. Especially when holding a heavy bottle of liquid over my head.

I am convinced that this sale display was a clever trap to conk elderlies on the head, rendering them unconscious! For what nefarious purposes, I don't know. Sis-Town is no Portland! So being dropped into a tunnel by ne'er-do-wells is probably out of the question. However, Sis-Town DOES sit on top of a labyrinth of lead mines.

Surely this product placement was just the work of a clueless stock manager. Or WAS it...

8 comments:

  1. I absolutely hate that they put those 2-liter bottles of pop on the higher shelves. It looks like your store put them even higher than usual. Maybe that's why they were on sale... making sure it was worth your time and effort to get to them. Sigh!

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    1. Heh, heh! It's probably to DISCOURAGE sales during the sale!

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  2. It does make more sense to have the sale items low enough for all to reach, imagine a shorty like me trying to get those! Did you call an assistant to get them for you and was he short enough to need a stepladder? Maybe they will learn a lesson from that.
    'scuse me while I laugh myself silly over that.

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    1. Heh, heh! Searching for someone to call for help would have taken more effort than risking loss of consciousness by getting them myself.

      The only time I see employees in there that are not behind a counter are when they are whizzing past me with meat on a metal cart. It's like somebody in the meat department hollered STAT! for a defibrillator to resuscitate a side of beef.

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  3. I am only 5'2" and I often encounter this problem with the two highest shelves. I usually look around to find another item on a shelf to knock down the item I want. Eye level is for the merch they want to sell the most, never the best value. People will buy multiples of sale items. Back when HeWho was a Diet Coke drinker of massive proportions, I would have jumped at a bargain. The bottles behind the first bottle always got stuck and prevented to bottles behin them to slide down. I hated that!

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    1. I will watch for you on that Customer Wars show! Just to see you knocking down 2-liter bottles of soda, and employees trying to subdue you while soda sprays and foams, making the aisle slippery!

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  4. I have the same problem with fingers, hands, head tilting, and dizziness...lol. I know a guy who worked nights at Walmart who said when he had to come out of the stockroom where he was assembling things, he walked hard and fast and never made eye contact because a customer might ask him something. Maybe it is not a defibrillator, just avoiding customers.

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    1. He should have added a metal cart! That would have made him virtually unapproachable! Nobody wants to lose a toe, just to ask a question.

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