Sunday, June 26, 2022

The Pony Makes a False Start

The Pony has been wanting to go to the casino where we took Genius back in May. He's never been there before, and has been waiting for two days off in a row, so he could still have a day of rest. Thursday was the day chosen for this adventure, with Friday the recovery day.

We decided to leave at 9:00. The Pony drove his broken-AC Rogue out to our house around 8:30. I had sent him a text at 7:45, just to see if he was up. Sometimes he sleeps in on a day off. Yes. He said he was up and getting ready to start out here at 8:15.

Hick spent an hour rider-mowing the yard while waiting. Because of course you want to head to the casino in brown plaid shorts, a gray shirt, and some grass clippings on your shoes. We left right at 9:00, and got there at 10:00. Hick dropped off me (and my cane), and The Pony, near the door and then drove to park. We were on a brick walkway, off to the side of the north entrance.

"Okay Pony. I'm going to carry my cane until I need it. We'll go on in and play, since Dad said we don't have to wait for him. Do you have your ID ready?"

The Pony got a deer-in-the-headlights expression.

"Um. I might not have it?"

"What do you mean, you MIGHT NOT HAVE IT? That's not a question! Do you have it, or not?"

"I don't have it. It's at home."

"Pony! What are you going to do, sit in the car for hours? You have to have an ID to get in! I guess we'll all just go back home. Dad is not going to be happy. Now we have to wait for him to walk up here."

I don't know why I didn't think about calling Hick. I was still so discombobulated over The Pony driving an hour to the casino WITHOUT HIS ID. 

"You know they'll ask. When we were here with Genius and Friend, THEY had to stop and show ID. And they're older than you!"

"I know..."
"How could you forget it? I should have asked you when I texted, but you always say, 'MOTHER, I am not an idiot!' So it wasn't worth it. Where IS your ID?"
"I know. I DO sound kind of like Genius treats you when you ask me stuff like that. I just didn't bring that billfold with my driver's license in it."

[Let the record show that like I have a separate gambling purse and money earmarked for that, The Pony also has a casino bankroll, and doesn't play out of his regular money. Besides, he was getting money at our house from the two $100 scratchers winners he'd left there for a couple months, waiting for me to cash them in for him for a casino trip.]

"Well. We'll go on and walk in, and let them officially deny you. It's air conditioned, anyway. And by that time, Dad will be up here. I'm going to use my cane. You just walk alongside me. I'll go through the turnstile thingies off to the side of the ID checker, and you just keep walking with me until they call you back to show ID. Of course we're here at a time when they're not busy!"

Off we went. As we rounded the little curve and got in sight of the main doors, I was leaning heavily on my cane. Walking slowly. At least the slowly part was not an act. I was headed to the center of the entrance, and then realized it was the big revolving door.
"What am I thinking! I can't go through a revolving door! Here. Let's go to this one over here on the right."
The Pony solicitously opened the first glass door and held it for me. I caned through. Then he opened the second glass door. In my peripheral vision, I could tell that the guy standing at the ID checking podium was watching us. I chatted with The Pony about the direction we'd be heading to find the slot machine he'd been yearning to play. I was between the Podium Guy and The Pony. I went through the the turnstile, with The Pony passing through another on my right. We kept slow-walking and chatting.


"Oh my gosh! I can't believe we just pulled that off. Keep going!"

"I know! That sign said to get in line to show ID if you're under 30. So I can act like I just didn't see it, since I was helping you."

"You won't really need it unless you get a hand pay, since we're not going out the other side to the restaurants. You're in. So nobody will ask. They never do here. I wonder what Dad will say."

"Don't tell Dad!"

"Okay. I guess he doesn't need to know that we almost had to go back home."

We went to The Pony's desired slot, the Wonder 4 Spinning Fortunes. That's the kind of slot I won my $8,600 on, at a different casino, which has since removed their bank of four of these machines. Now were were headed for four of them here. I'd won  my jackpot playing Buffalo Gold. The Pony likes the Brazil game. Each of these slots have four games to choose from, the other two being Whales of Cash, and Wild Leprecoins.

Of course there was a dude playing the #2 slot in the row of four. We don't like sitting by people! The Pony said I could go ahead and play, and he sat down at a Buffalo Chief slot right by them. I played at the #4 slot. Which took my money really fast, and gave me NOTHING in return!

"I'm going somewhere else. It's not hitting. If this guy leaves, text me, and we'll play. Or you can go play that one I was just on."

Off I went. I could see The Pony move to play the #4 slot. Then I meandered on around to a Wonder 4 Tall Fortunes to play Miss Kitty, who gave me a bonus quickly. 
It was the good bonus! Giving me the ability to build up the tower. I got all the way to the top. Not a great win, but enough that I cashed out at $80, to start my "savings" ticket. That's what I do. Put the good wins on a ticket, so I always leave with something, even if I play away the bankroll I brought that I was willing to risk. I never play off the ticket. Only put it in to add on a new bonus.
By the time I wondered back over to check on The Pony, HICK was sitting at slot #3! What a shocker. Hick never bets that much. The minimum on that slot is $1 bet, IF you play Whales of Cash. Hick had a mixture of the games, betting over $1 a spin. The Pony said Hick was having fun, and had played a long time on $20. That Dude was still there, standing behind slots #1 and #2, still playing. So I left again.
The Pony and Hick joined me later, and we all played a Luxury Line slot. The Pony played the Buffalo version, and hit a $170 jackpot. Hick and I were on the Timber Wolf version. I hit one that paid just under $100. I cashed out $80 onto my "savings" ticket. Hick was getting some play, but had only won $15 at the highest. We left him there, and went deeper into the casino. The Pony played some Egyptian theme slot, then found me at a Wonder 4 Jackpots playing Miss Kitty. Yes! I love my Wonder 4 games.

Poor Pony. He was waiting on me to walk back around to near where we came in, so I could play Wonder 4 BOOST. But I said I wouldn't leave until I got to a multiple of $20 on my "savings" ticket I had put in to gather up some of my winnings there. Wouldn't you know it! I hit a bonus while trying to do that.

Yes. I hit the JACKPOT jackpot for Miss Kitty. Which was $240.95, then I got my 10 free games. THEN I had to play that off to a multiple of $20, heh, heh. The Pony was okay with that.

We walked over to my Wonder 4 BOOST, which is where I encountered the MANSPREADER. I gave all the games a try on it except for Rhino, which I don't like. The only one that was giving anything back was Whales of Cash. I played it on $2 a spin, which was 50 cents a game, since those Wonder 4 slots let you play four games at a time. I hit a Super Free Games bonus, which meant I got to play all four screens in it, instead of just one:

The best part about my bonus was one screen within those 15 spins. A screen that paid me $6.00 x 16, which was $96 out of that whole $124.40 bonus!

Those whales act as wilds, and in the bonus are also 4x multipliers. So I had four clams, times 16. Which was $96. Take THAT, you MANSPREADER! The meek shall inherit the clams.

Anyhoo... I was having a great time, and building up my "savings" ticket. It wasn't all profit, since I was still spending my casino bankroll. But I was ahead. The Pony was doing okay, and also having fun. But then Hick appeared at my left elbow, saying he had spent all he wanted to spend. You know what THAT means, right? It means everyone has to leave, because HICK is ready to leave!

TO BE CONTINUED... as The Pony's lack of ID returns to bite him on the rumpus.


  1. I think it's unfair that you all have to leave because Hick is ready to go. Then again, you do all like to stick together. I bet The Pony never forgets his ID again.

    1. Hick knows we like to stay longer. He needs to chill out and find a seat so he can people-watch, or play with his phone like he does all the time at home. My favorite gambling aunt takes a book along, and finds an out-of-the-way chair to sit and read.

      The other alternative would be for Hick to develop a better gambling strategy, where he doesn't keep spending all his winnings back into the same machine. Or take more money, or stop playing only the cheapest slots. Like The Pony said, Hick was having a good LONG time playing the game next to him, betting more than his usual 50 cents a spin, because it was paying back enough to keep him playing.

      With the randomness of the odds, you'd think Hick should have SOME DAYS where he's a winner. So maybe he needs to change his strategy.