Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Somebody Puts Hick in a Corner...of the Dog House

Hick should probably build a dog house over on Shackytown Boulevard. Build it three or four stories tall. A high-rise dog house. He might as well be comfortable. I'm not the only one to put Hick in the dog house. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Tuesday evening, Hick was rummaging around in FRIG II for his Chinese leftovers of Hunan Chicken. Offhandedly, he said over his shoulder:

"When Pony and me went to Captain D's on Sunday, I brought home two hush puppies."

Aw. Dear, sweet Hick! He was going to offer me his leftover hush puppies. I composed my face so if he turned around, I could look truly surprised at his generosity, and accept graciously.

"I was planning to give them to Jack and Juno [ :( ] but I forgot them in the truck. This morning on the way out to Bev's house, Old Buddy saw them on the floorboard--"

"OH NO!"

"Yeah. And when we got there, he gave them to Bev's dog."

"Whew! I was afraid you were going to say Old Buddy ATE them! Like The Pony's 2nd Bestie, who ate that year-old chocolate chip cookie she found on the floor of his car!"

"No. He just fed them to Bev's dog. But Bev saw him, and had a fit! She started lecturing us. 'How DARE you give my dog food! If you feed her table scraps, she will never eat her dog food!' She really carried on about it, and we had to apologize and promise never to do it again."

Let the record show that this is the dog WE KEPT FOR BEV while she was between campgrounds, living in her camper. And also the same dog who BIT Hick in the early days of working on Bev's new used house. Hick didn't have a fit over THAT! 
So you'd think Bev might cut him some slack over two hush puppies. What in the Not-Heaven? It's not like they fed her dog dried-out splintery chicken leg bones, or a whole turkey carcass five days after Thanksgiving. I doubt that dog's appetite was spoiled. She's a DOG, by cracky! I know people are protective of their pets, but perhaps Bev could have handled the issue a bit more diplomatically.

Considering all the figurative fires Hick has put out for Bev lately, she might want to choose a better battle.


  1. Replies
    1. Three-day-old leftovers off the floor of a truck, or a scientifically-balanced kibble out of a paper bag! Maybe I should have brought home my over-cooked tater tots from the casino. I bet that dog would have loved them.

  2. Hick: "we didn't feed him nothin', he just jumped up and got those hush puppies right from Old Buddy's hand."
    Bev sounds like a bit of a weirdo. Is she a weirdo?

    1. Heh, heh, that's a good defense. Bev is an uber-weirdo! But she has a good heart. To insult me, Hick says, "You're just like Bev!" Leaving out the good heart part.