Monday, October 18, 2021

Val Gets a Crime-Fighting Lesson at the Gas Station Chicken Store

The more you know...

Sunday, business was slow at the Gas Station Chicken Store. It was just me, at the soda fountain filling my 44 oz Diet Coke, and Man Owner puttering around wiping down the counters (they close at 5:00 on Sundays), and Woman Owner behind the counter waiting on customers. As I walked up front, a man stepped one foot in the door.

"I just want you to know, my son is getting gas, and then he's got to leave for work. I'm in my truck, and I'll be getting diesel fuel around at the side, but I'm going to pay for both of us when I'm done. So he's not driving off. I'll be paying for his gas and mine."

"All right. Thank you for telling me. I don't feel like running fast today!"

They both laughed, and the guy went back out as I set my magical elixir on the counter.

"He thinks I'm joking, but I'm serious! I cleared off my counter so I can get out fast!" [There's a section that flips up like a drawbridge, where she'd moved the merchandise that sometimes sits there.]

"What are you going to do if you catch someone, grab onto the bumper?"

"I've stopped people before! There was one time that I stopped a stolen car! I didn't know it was stolen at the time. I just wanted my gas money. It was a couple years ago, a car from Michigan. There were four guys in it, and I ran out as they were trying to get away, waving my arms and screaming at them to stop. They DID!"

"I'm surprised. You'd think they'd want to get away. Oh, but I guess they'd rather face you than have you call in a gas drive-off, since they were in a stolen car."

"I was standing there while they tried to get their stories straight, to tell me how they were going to pay, when a State Patrol car made a U-turn and came flying in here! The trooper jumped out pointing his gun, yelling 'Put your hands on top of the car!'"

Man Owner walked up. "I was out there by that time, and I put my hands in the air, and said, 'Hey, this isn't how you do it on TV!'"

"Turns out the car was being tracked by GPS. They got arrested, and I had to go to court 4 times! They tried them all separately. I got a letter from Judge Judy, wanting me to be on the show. They would pay us $500 each, plus our expenses to get out there, and the judgment if we won. 
I remember sitting on the bench over at the courthouse on Law Day, waiting to be called in. I leaned over and hollered at one of the guys who worked for us, 'Hey, David, did you get your letter from Judge Judy?' Well! All the noise stopped, like I was E.F. Hutton! Everybody looked at me. 
When I got in the courtroom, I mentioned it to the judge. She said, 'Are you going?' and I told her no. Then she said, 'At least you have a little self-respect.'"
"Wow! You could have been famous!"
"No way would I go be on Judge Judy! I've watched Judge Judy! She makes everybody look like a fool, not just the guilty people!"

Never a dull moment at the Gas Station Chicken Store.


  1. I never watch Judge Judy, Makes me angry.

    1. I used to watch every now and then, if I was home in the afternoon, and was interested in the case I saw while clicking through.

  2. Judge Judy makes me laugh, but the people who go on there make me want to smack them for being so silly. The reasons they give for their misdemeanors are hilarious sometimes. I read her book once, the one called "Don't Pee On My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining" If she has other books I don't know about them.

    1. Yes, Judge Judy is good with a quip, and she has good LIE-dar. Plus she doesn't suffer fools. She says what we all want to say sometimes.

  3. Not sure how JJ can make you angry if you never watch her, but I LOVE Judge Judy!

    1. Well, obviously you WATCH Judge Judy! So no anger for you!