Thursday, March 4, 2021

Killing Me With Findness

I think I mentioned that Hick is prohibited from bringing home any more FREE food from the Ponytail Guy. The ban has been on for two or three weeks now. I'm sure you all believe that Hick has been compliant. Right? Don't you? WHAT? Do I hear some doubters?

The first Friday Hick was banned from bringing home food, he brought a gallon plastic jug of tea. A gallon of milk. Two 32 oz containers of vanilla yogurt. And a bag of tuna. Apparently, I should have set some consequences for noncompliance.

The beverages took up half the top shelf of FRIG II. The yogurts took up my bottom shelf where I store too-large jars of pickles, family packs of Save A Lot hamburger, and assorted leftovers in my rectangular Chinese Tupperware. Hick usually keeps the large yogurts in the crisper drawer, but one of those was taken up with romaine lettuce and carrots (as it should be), and the other was full of packs of salami/cheese/crackers (like adult Lunchables) that Hick had bought at the auction. 

Anyhoo... Hick's food was allowed to stay, for the price of a tongue-lashing promise to NOT bring home anything else! But there was the problem of the tuna. It's good tuna. Starkist, packed in water. IT WAS A 48 OZ POUCH! That's a lot of tuna. Hick does not like tuna. The Pony does not like tuna.

"What am I supposed to do with all this tuna?"

"I got if for YOU. Because you like tuna."

"I do like tuna. I eat it about every two months. I make tuna salad with it. I don't really need 16 servings in a pouch that is not resealable."

"I was just doing you a favor. When I got up to the lockers and found out Ponytail Guy had tuna, I had to get it for you."

Uh huh. Have I mentioned that I'm pretty sure Hick is trying to kill me? Perhaps he hasn't heard of a little incident at Fukushima. People are not supposed to eat a lot of tuna, since tuna have been live-marinating in radiation for the past 10 years. I think consuming any more than 12 oz per week is in the danger zone.

The Pony and I opened the tuna pouch this week. I'm pretty sure he would have worn a hazmat suit if Hick had one handy. I put the tuna in my cylindrical opaque Chinese Tupperware. The quart containers that originally held a large Hot & Sour Soup. It filled two and a half containers. I ate tuna salad for three days this week. Generous servings. There is still plenty of tuna left for next week, and beyond.
 
I guess the good news is that if the radiation kills me, I won't need one of those grave lights. My corpse will be glowing up through the dirt on its own.

11 comments:

  1. You only have to worry about Japanese tuna.

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  2. I did eat at least a can of tuna each week until fukushima. Now, I have to force myself to eat tuna, and I love it! I wonder if tuna can be frozen.

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    1. The Ponytail Guy Starkist Tuna is delicious! I mix in some mayo, diced dill pickles, and a whole diced sweet onion (like Vidalia). Mmm... not on a sandwich, but with Ritz crackers on the side.

      According to River (two comments below), tuna can be frozen once.

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    2. But not for too long, I think the limit on fish is three months after that it deteriorates,, especially in taste.

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  3. Tuna is a good product. no glowing yet.

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    1. I wonder if I have a half-life now. Surely it's too early to attribute my feeling of slow decay to the tuna!

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  4. Tuna can be frozen in the liquid it comes in, then thawed and drained for use. just freeze it in useable portions, because once thawed it CANNOT be refrozen.

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    1. I don't know if this pouch of tuna was frozen before Hick brought it home and put it in FRIG II. When I found it, the pouch was not frozen. So I'll keep it in my containers in FRIG II, and eat it as fast as I can ration it safely.

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  5. Oh, no! Bet you could add tuna sandwiches to the menu on your food truck to sell with eggrolls!

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    1. Yep! For bread, I could use the frozen biscuits from the Ponytail Guy. I think Hick has four bags.

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