Back-of-the-Book-Blurb #101 "The Written Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Thevictorian"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week, Val uses a work of art as inspiration for her own fake art. She paints with broad strokes, though. Little nuance. Don't expect intricate relationships among her poorly-fleshed characters. Consider this fake book as a lesson in how not to write. We all have to start somewhere, and Val is a veteran teacher. Cough up those pennies, to assure yourself a coveted place at the knee of this great master.

The Written Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Thevictorian

Word on The Street is that a new old bird is coming to town. To teach the citizens a lesson. A lesson of the wrist bone being connected to the elbow bone. Without such a connection, it's impossible to shake your fist at young whippershappers crossing your lawn.

After a game of leapfrog gone horribly bad, Kermit is wishing he had stayed off that lawn, and taken his chances crossing a five-lane road. Or gone a-courtin' Miss Piggy. Now, though, he has unwillingly donated his body to science. He'd complain, if that cat hadn't got his tongue.

Will Kermit come to his senses and pick a bone with his dismantler? (110 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

The Count..."Greetings. It is I, The Count. One. One terrible fake book by Thevictorian. Two. Two terrible fake books by Thevictorian. Three...wait a minute. I do not think I can count this high! AH AH AH! Sadly, I am not joking." 

Cookie Monster..."Hello! Me here to warn you. This fake book bad! Make me want to lose cookies!"

Frankenstein..."Bread good! Thevictorian's fake book BAD! Like fire. BAD!"

Bert..."Aghhh! This fake author makes me so MAD! My unibrow is frowning."

Ernie..."I wouldn't buy this fake book if it came with a free Rubber Duckie."

Grover..."I would like to present this fake book as a fake gift to my fake friend, Mr. Johnson."

Elmo..."This fake book does not tickle Elmo!"

Oscar the Grouch..."I barely have any room to live in here! People keep throwing this fake book into my can!"

Big Bird..."I think I could write a fake book like this. Just as soon as I get done teaching the anatomy of a frog."

Kermit the Frog..."If I ever get off of this dissection table, I swear I will make sure that Thevictorian never fake-writes another fake book--or my middle name isn't THE!"

Rembrandt..."As one great master to another one who considers herself a master...I would like to celebrate the release and subsequent recall of this fake book with Thevictorian, by taking her out to dinner. We'll go Dutch, of course."