My mom has been ordering slaw for every meal except breakfast.
"Oh, that's certainly a surprise!" said nobody who reads this blog, ever.
On Thursday evening, Hick went by to have supper with Mom. He bowls in a league in her hospital town this year, because there were not enough teams at our local alley. Don't go thinking Mom complained that she didn't like her food, so they would send another tray, which she gave to Hick. Nope. You'd think she would have learned how to work that scam by now, but Mom is pretty much an Honest Abe, which we should remember, what with her getting her dander up and accusing those Save A Lot workers of gypping (!) the customers a few months back.
Hick brought in his own food, and he took Mom down the hall to a family area where they sat at a table with a Christmas tablecloth, and basked in the glow of the blinking lights of the Christmas tree. Actually, I'm not too sure about the blinking lights part. You would think they may shy away from that, having patients there possibly after having a seizure, like Mom. Let's hope there was no TV blaring the voice of Mary Hart.
They sat down, and a staff member brought Mom's dinner tray. She set out her dishes. Roast beef. Mashed potatoes. Sherbet. Ice cream. Mini-8-ounce Diet Coke. Mom had it all laid out before her. But there was no slaw. She's not a complainer, you know.
"I thought maybe I forgot to tell them when I called down. But I ALWAYS have slaw! So I decided that maybe they just forgot. I wasn't going to make a big deal about it unless it happened again. This little girl who carried out my tray said, 'Is everything all right?' I said, 'Yeeesssss. Except I don't see my slaw, but that's okay. I can have slaw tomorrow.' And that little girl grinned and pulled her arm out from behind her back, and THERE WAS MY SLAW! She giggled and said, 'I was just seeing if you noticed anything was missing.' Which wasn't very funny to me. But at least I got my slaw."
"Mom. She was probably told to do that. To see if you know what's going on. To test your memory when you don't know they're testing you."
"Maybe. I was just happy to get my slaw."
It's fine to test her memory, but they should not mess with your mom's slaw!
ReplyDeleteI wish slaw made me THAT happy.
ReplyDeleteI think the staffer was just funnin' your mom. But apparently your mother doesn't appreciate any pranks when it comes to her slaw.
ReplyDeleteWas that a trip down memory lane to Fantasy Not-Peninsula, Cool Hand Luke or something altogether different?
They can do this to me when I am old. Except make it chocolate.Damn rights I will know when I don't get it unless I am totally whackadoodle.
ReplyDeleteI think the five dollar daughter's husband asked the attendant to mess with his MIL a bit. I'll bet he chuckled all the way home. Or maybe it was a cognitive test. Part of the Alzheimer's test is to spell WORLD backwards. Got my world spinning, let me tell you.
ReplyDeletejoeh,
ReplyDeleteYou ain't a-woofin'! That would be like parking in her driveway after a snow.
*****
Stephen,
Perhaps you just haven't tried the right slaw.
*****
Sioux,
You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger. And you don't mess around with Mom's slaw.
Indeed, that was a trip to Fantasy Not-Peninsula. Cool Hand Luke was not even on my radar.
*****
Birdie,
To each his own. Pick your poison. I would think more people want to steal chocolate from an old lady than slaw. But what do I know? It's Mom's slaw that went missing, not the gift pack of peppermint patties on her bed tray.
*****
Linda,
I hope he did not, but slaw pranks are something I could imagine Hick perpetrating.