Tuesday, December 30, 2014

There is the Edge of Redneckness, Then the Abyss, and Finally, the Bedrock That Needs Not See the Light of Day

Just when I thought Thevictorians had reached the hard rock bottom of redneckness, what with that red milk crate screwed to our front wall to receive UPS packages (which is still there, I might add, though never having received even one package in its gullet)...

I SAW THIS WHEN HICK DROVE THROUGH THE FRONT YARD:


Yeah. Hick drove it off to work that day, since we had a forecast of snow, and he leaves studded snow tires on it year round. Then he cleverly kept parking it in the garage, where nobody could get to that side of it to take a picture for evidence. I guess he thought I wouldn't notice.



I asked him what's the deal, and Hick says that window just fell down and wouldn't stay up anymore. I think those two wood wedges are new. They only add insult to injury, since I have asked Hick for years to make me some doorstops for school. Doorstops for teachers are like cigarettes to permanent residents of the state pen.

I can't believe that our $1000 Caravan hasn't held up better than that, over these last six years.

You just don't get much for your thousand bucks these days. Except maybe a pair of shoe inserts from The Good Feet Store.


9 comments:

  1. Oh goodness gracious, I almost forgot about the Good Feet Store. Hasn't Hick been a good husband? Doesn't he deserve the best for his feet?

    If the answer is yes to both those questions, I assume a pair of new GFS inserts were in Hick's Christmas stocking...

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  2. If duct tape won't fix it, it can't be fixed.

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  3. I have a feeling you've gotten your money's worth out of that vehicle. Wishing you a healthy and peaceful New Year.

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  4. Sioux,
    Hick did not need new Good Feet Store inserts. Because apparently, his old ones work like a charm, laying beside his head all night on top of his clock radio. They have left the house less than Sigourney Weaver in Copycat.

    ******
    joeh,
    Looks like the duct tape DID fix it. So now if I ride with him, I cannot hang my head out the window. On the other hand, it is sparkly and shiny. I feel honored, like when I first met Hick, and he painted the passenger door of his rusted-out pickup just for me. With spray paint. Bottom of the door country blue, and the top around the window white. I was royalty back then, I tell you.

    *****
    Stephen,
    We have not yet begun to get our money's worth out of that vehicle. The Pony will be the primary driver of it once he gets his license, replacing Genius as the former primary driver of it for four years. On paper, of course. For insurance purposes.

    ******
    Linda,
    Right back atcha, funny mentor! Don't know if you're a Seinfeld fan, but I hope you're not dating Kenny Bania. If you take him out for dinner after he gives you an Armani suit, he'll just order soup, and say you still owe him a dinner.

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  5. Oh, Val! This is so funny! Every time I read about the escapades of your husband I am convinced he is related to my dad. Cousins, if you will. You need to claim those doorstops as your own.

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    Replies
    1. Birdie,
      I think they also share genes with Kampground Kathy's husband HeWho. I can't take the doorstops unless I replace them with something. Like that bag of sand used by Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr-8AP0To4k

      On second thought...

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  6. I have no words. He Who has encountered this window problem in more than one vehicle. His solution is more hidden and involves the inner door panel being removed. He leaves it off, you know, for future window events. I will not be showing him this photo ...... ever.

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  7. Kathy,
    We had one like that too. I think it was a Ford Explorer. The door panel remained off until we traded it. It reminded me of The Terminator, for some reason.

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