Another story in Val's continuing series on irony.
Christmas Eve, we went to my sister the ex-mayor's wife's house for dinner and games. I am sorry to report that Val did not maintain her usual winning record. Oh, well. That kept the angry mob and their flaming torches away. I attribute my lack of success with this virus putting me off my game(s).
I only scored 12 out of 17 in identifying actors and public figures by their mustaches. Darn that Ryan Reynolds and Dr. Phil and Salvador Dali. The best score was 15. In another game, we drew cards and had to give away a dollar scratch-off ticket to various people. This assured that everybody left with at least one of the three tickets we had to bring to the party. My card said, "Give a ticket to a person who was born in an even month." So I passed it off to my niece, with an April birthday. C'mon. You didn't think I'd give it to Hick, did you?
The Pony did not even deliberate before giving away his ticket. "Give a ticket to the smartest person here." You might think that my boy saluted my validictorianship, and gave that ticket to me. But no. You think wrong. The Pony looked around the table, and announced, "Well, since I'm the smartest person here, I'm going to keep my ticket." Remember that. This is what's called foreshadowing.
The last game was called Left Right Center. Perhaps you've played. You need special dice, marked with an L, an R, a C, and a dot. We all started with two tokens and one scratch-off ticket. If you rolled an L or an R, you had to give something to the person to the left or right of you. A C meant you had to put something in the middle of the table. Something that's not coming out. At least if you passed off an item to a person beside you, there was a chance you might get it back, depending on the roll of the dice. A dot on the die meant you got to keep an item.
The Pony was down to one token and one ticket. That meant he got to roll two dice. It came up a dot and a C. One would assume that The Pony put his token in the center of the table, and kept his ticket. You know what happens when we assume.
The Pony shoved his ticket to the pile of tokens in the middle of the table. Oh, the IRONY! There was a tough audience around that table. "Hey! I thought you were the smartest one here!" And "That's not what a smart person would do!" And "I guess you should have given that ticket to someone smarter than you!"
Yes. Irony is a harsh taskmaster.
Oh, The Pony's hindquarters got wounded. It's the first scar of many. When he goes away to college, if he keeps galloping around in a foolish manner like he did at the party, he'll have considerably less meat on his hind-end.
ReplyDeleteDid you later say to him, "I didn't tell you so, but I thought it" or were you able to restrain yourself?
It's all a learning experience. The Pony will figure it out sooner or later.
ReplyDeletePoor Pony. Bill's 80 year old aunt used to pride herself at robbing your neighbor, especially the 5 year olds. She was diagnosed with dementia.
ReplyDeleteHow's that saying go? "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteYes, in college, The Pony will have more bites taken out of his rump than that pot-bellied pig that Hick "found" and planned to make sausage out of before I stopped him. No, Hick didn't bite it as a taste test. Ann the black german shepherd had a little nosh at that pet's expense.
I did not tell The Pony "told you so." I did not even do the Told You So Dance made famous by Grace Adler.
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Stephen,
He'd better develop a taste for humble pie.
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Linda,
"What an uplifting anecdote," said Val. Never. Even though she wanted to, but considered it in bad taste, so said instead, "Sorry to hear about Bill's aunt. What a firecracker! My grandma prided herself on beating the grandkids at croquet."
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Catalyst,
The Pony had it served up on a chilled silver platter.