Thursday, September 18, 2014

Without Benefit of Mane and Tail Shampoo!

If I didn't know better, I would swear that some creepy do-gooder was dognapping my sweet, sweet Juno during the day and BRUSHING her without my permission.

Only two short months ago, Juno was grotesquely unkempt, her formerly-silky flowing black fur all dusty and matted and snarled full of bright green cockleburs. But look at her this afternoon:

She positively glistens! The only remnant that harkens back to her dirty days are the tangled pantaloons on her rear legs. I suppose the dognapper doesn't want to intrude upon Juno's private area. Yes, she's shiny as a new penny, if pennies were covered with black dog hair.

The reason I was able to get this photo is because, you see, Juno was snarfing up her beloved cat kibble on the side porch. Please disregard Hick's hoard. I don't know why Gassy G needs two snack tubs of propane. Nor do I know why there's a saucer that used to sit under a plant pot sitting on the porch like Hick gave the cats a saucer of milk. They should be so lucky. They barely get to eat their own cat kibble. And, to my great surprise, there's ANOTHER black roasting pan suitable for serving up cat kibble right there by the propane tanks. The Igloo cooler contains a bag of dog biscuits from the auction. It will come as no surprise to you that Juno and Ann both turn up their noses at such treats. It's like I feel about Auction Meat, I imagine. And I don't even want to know why a strip of roofing shingles is on the porch.

Here's my sweet, sweet Juno from another angle. Still as shiny.

She might need to take the pumice stone to that elbow. I wonder if I should leave a note on her so the dognapper will trim her tangled haunches. I'm glad Juno loves her cat kibble human mommy so much! I know she will stop at nothing to escape her captor and return home every evening.

Let the record shoe that Val does not normally let her beloved canine run around without a collar, like a common stray. Juno had a flattering bright red nylon collar, but Hick cut it off with his knife. That's because he couldn't figure out how to loosen it.

For someone who works with machines all the livelong day, Hick is sometimes not very mechanically inclined. We won't mention that "pooping out a headlight" debacle again.


  1. Lordy, you'd better never mention that any article of clothing is constricting your body, lest Hick slice it off you.

  2. That is just how I always imagined Sweet Sweet Juno.

  3. She is, indeed, lovely. My Toni Louise has longer hair than your Juno and though my girl looks like her fur is jet black in a photo, she is sort of brindle, especially in her face. None of my dogs like dog biscuits, they prefer those bacon treats. My animals are a little spoiled.

  4. We used to have a cat that belonged to our neighbours that we would brush. She would come to our house for a snack. We would brush out all her mats and send her on her way. I always wondered what the owners thought.

  5. I need to have my rat's-nest of a hairstyle worked on. Please ask Juno what salon she's going to during the day, and I'll head there over the weekend.

  6. With or without your help, Juno appears to be one well-groomed pooch!

  7. Linda,
    Duly noted.

    I'm not sure if that is a tribute to my descriptive powers, or if you pictured her snarfing the cat kibble.

    Funny you should mention that. Juno's hair WAS longer, before the dognapper brushed it out. My doggies like leftovers better than dog biscuits. They do, however, crowd the UPS truck for a tossed biscuit. Juno even started climbing the steps of that doorless vehicle.

    Um. Have you been in my neighborhood recently?

    I'm afraid, Madam, that sweet, sweet Juno's kidnapper would ransom you quicker than Red Chief! With your rats still intact. You see, unlike Juno, you do not have a chewable nose to offset your feisty-ness.

    She's a trend-setter, that Juno. "An egg (or three or four) in every dog's belly" is her personal grooming tip.