Saturday, September 13, 2014

Do You, Val's Mom, Take This Container as Your Slawfully Netted Strife?

My mom has had another adventure. I know you're not going to believe this, but SLAW was involved!

I only found out yesterday morning before school. It was duty day, too, so I had no time to tarry. I had to cut off the conversation while I was only five minutes behind schedule. But here's the gist of it.

"Oh, I went to town for some slaw. I was running out! I just went to the Save A Lot out here. I decided to get TWO containers, because it was on sale, and the date said it was good until October."

"Like expiration dates mean anything to you."

"Well, I'm sure it will be gone by then. So while I was getting the slaw, I saw that their potato salad was also $.99, so I picked up a container of that. I never look at the receipt. But this time, when I got out to the car, I did. The potato salad was $.99, but she had charged me $3.98 for the two slaws! I was not going to let them get away with that. So I took my bag and my receipt and went back inside. I told her, 'I'm usually wrong on things like this, but it seems to me that you did not ring up my slaw for $.99 like your sign says. The potato salad was $.99, but I'm pretty sure your ad said that slaw was also $.99. And this receipt looks like you charged me $3.98 for two slaws.' She said she would check on it, and took my receipt and my bag into the managers office."

"Oh, no! You shouldn't have let her take your bag in there! I hope they didn't pee in you slaw or anything."

"Well, she just took it from me. It has a plastic seal around the lid. So I'll know if it's been opened.

"If it has, you take it right back out there and tell them it might have been tampered with, and get one off the shelf yourself. And watch the price when they ring it up!"

Okay. They were in there quite a while. Then she came out and said she was sorry, but their register was not ringing up the slaw for $.99. So she gave me a refund. I was really proud of myself to get my two dollars back. And I got to thinking, that sale has been going on for two days already...

Now let me interrupt our conversation momentarily to inform you that my mom does not have a prejudiced bone in her body. She believes everyone should be treated equally, and sometimes even bends over backwards to emphasize how a certain person from assorted minority groups behaved in an exemplary fashion, or went out of their way to accommodate her. She is an equal opportunity, sometimes inadvertently patronizing, staunch supporter of all ethnicities and ablednesses, and even found something nice to say about one of the KKK who were handing out fliers on a street corner last year: "I think it's a shame that they're allowed to do that. I thought about going around the block so I didn't have to pass them. But there was one guy who had on the nicest blue robe. He must have been the leader, because his robe was different. It was really pretty." So, with this in mind, I reveal the next thing out of Mom's mouth concerning her slaw:

...I bet they gypped so many people."

"Um. Mom. You can't really say that these days. It's an insult to gypsies. You can't say gypped."

"Oh. I didn't know that. I will try to be more careful. But the slaw is regularly only $1.79, so if the register is charging people $1.99 apiece for them, they are overcharging their customers ABOVE the regular price."

"I know what you mean, Mom. I've gotta go or I'll be late for my parking lot duty. Talk to you later. Enjoy your slaw. And your two dollars!"

"Okay. I'm so proud of myself. Have a good day."

I didn't have the heart to mention that they still ripped her off for the tax on her overcharged slaw.


  1. Why ruin her moment by mentioning the tax. You ARE the good daughter.

  2. The nicest blue robe. A pretty robe. Your KKK story was a doozy. A gem all by itself. Proof that truth sometimes IS stranger than fiction.

  3. Stories of your mom never fail to amuse me. :-)

  4. Stephen,
    And she holds that five dollars over my head.

    Mom tries to find something good to say about everybody. EVERYBODY! Except maybe those Save A Lot workers her out of two dollars.

    She's often newsworthy.

  5. Maybe you can buy her a blue robe. A pretty blue robe. Don't tell her about the tax ......

  6. Kathy,
    I won't tell her about the tax. But neither will I buy her a pretty blue robe. If anybody complimented her on it, she would go into lengthy detail about where she got it, and why. She might even tell them she felt gypped, because it was not exactly like the one she had her eye on.