Here I sit, licking my wounds. Then applying a soothing salve made from Diet Coke and soon-to-be-proven-false promises. Wounds inflicted by the breakdown of my Heat Pump Inside Cooling Coil Element Thingamajigger that was apparently just fine one short week ago, so fine that he had an appetite for two pounds of Freon.
Funny how after forking over the dough for that feedbag, my HPICCET suddenly took ill. Gluttony is not pretty. And is not cheap. The Freon Chef returned this morning to see what he hath wrought. It seems that my HPICCET has an inoperable ailment. The only cure is a transplant. Have you checked into the price of HPICCET transplants lately? To grind salt into the gaping wound, HPICCET has a pre-existing conditon. He has already reached the cap on his warranty, having required a major procedure some years previous.
Now the dilemma. To secure a transplant for HPICCET to the tune of $1500 with a warranty of one year, or put him down along his entire unit, and welcome a new inside cooling unit into our home for an adoption fee of $1800. Yes. Tough choice. But we have chosen to euthanize HPICCET.
Even more depressing than the low blow to our semi-deep pockets, and the loss of our fickle HPICCET, is the fact that the adoption process will take three days. Do you grasp the gravity of my situation? NO AIR CONDITIONING UNTIL MONDAY AFTERNOON!
I feel faint. Crazy from the heat. At least we do not reside in a concrete jungle. Our sweltering temperatures abate a bit overnight. It is the best of times. It is the worst of times. Hey! That would be a catchy opening to a novel, don't you think? One one hand, the forecast calls for the mildest temperatures in the past month. For the whole summer, almost. But on the other hand, I return to work on Monday. There shall be much frantic rushing around. My cool morning shower will be negated by the oppressive heat and humidity blanket that shall drape itself over my rustic home like a John Carpenter horror movie. But without Adrienne Barbeau.
This has been The Summer of Even Steven, Harsh Taskmaster. I am curious to see what good things await.