Friday, August 31, 2012

What My Co-Workers Really Think of Me

It's no secret that I have control issues.

My close colleagues don't hesitate to mention it. Remind me that it's the school's laptop, not mine, and if I'm absent, there's no harm in one of them popping in to borrow it for the day. I beg to differ. But according to our technology minder, my colleagues are right. It doesn't seem fair. I baby my equipment. Who knows what indignities it may suffer while I'm away? The thought of a substitute fondling it is bad enough. Let the record show that I am rarely absent.

Any card-carrying member of The American Association of Handwriting Analysts could walk into my classroom and peg me write away (heh, heh, that's probably a joke those handwriting analysts use all the time) for the control freak that I am. My writing on the white board, all evenly-spaced and chalk-line-straight enough to please a master carpenter, would be a dead giveaway. I print in all caps, for cryin' out loud!

Earlier this week, my room was not swept. It's nobody's fault. We only have two-and-a-half custodians for a regular full-sized high school. And they have to double as bus drivers as the need arises. Much in the way you can't get blood from a turnip, you can't squeeze extra hours of work out of staff for no pay. It's not right. If they only have time to dump the wastebasket when they get back from an emergency route, so be it. I totally understand.

At the lunch table, I asked if Custodian had been absent that day. Because, you see, it is very unlike Custodian to leave my room unswept. Custodian is ultra efficient, terribly thorough, and takes pride in a job well done every day. So I was simply checking to see if something was amiss. To illustrate why I inquired as to the whereabouts/health issues of Custodian, I gave an example.

"I came in this morning, and it looked like my room had not been swept. I found a broken mechanical pencil and a sticky note on the floor. Of course I picked them up. It's not that big a deal. Luckily I have my seventh hour students line up their desks and chairs every day. You know, the only thing that was messy was the pencil and sticky note. Because, ha ha, I'm such a master teacher that nothing else gets messed up."

A colleague to my right agreed. "Val runs a tight ship. The sticky note probably had a message on it: "Sorry about the pencil."

9 comments:

  1. I recieved a letter from a student of mine that said her "real" job waa much easier than what she went through in my classes. She was so thankful, that I had made her life so easy at work because she had been shown so much in school.

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  2. All I was trying to say is that I was the "hard" teacher. I now have hundreds of people working....

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  3. You drive the kids crazy, you make the custodians happy...It sounds like you have your priorities straight.

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  4. If my pencils and post-its disappear I'm going to look for a ransom note written in all caps.

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  5. Watch out for the anonymous notes on paper airplanes.

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  6. Hope Custodian was okay. Because I hear some districts DO try to squeeze in extra hours without pay....

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  7. knancy,
    I commend you. What the world needs these days: more employees who can perform their jobs competently. I would even settle for adequately.

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    Sioux,
    I even give them a tub of my world-famous Chex Mix at Christmas! The custodians, of course. Not the students.

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    Leenie,
    I am adept at forgery. Just so you know. You might have to break out the DNA test kit to make the charges stick.

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    Linda,
    A paper airplane would not dare show his wings in my classroom!

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    Tammy,
    You will be relieved to hear that Custodian is fine, and was wearing a Bus Driver hat on the day in question. The floor detritus will always be there the next day. In other classrooms, not mine, of course!

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  8. I am thankful for the teachers who run tight ships! My oldest child was simply passed along, never having to complete the required work if he chose not to, because he was so bright. They feared he would be bored if held back and made to face the consequences of not doing what was reqired of everyone else. I was the parent creating the scene and demanding that the school system do their job and fail him. I told the principal that they were teaching him that he could receive a paycheck without doing the work ....

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  9. Kathy,
    Yes, those teachers are really not helping the kids by letting things slide. It's tough out there in the real world. Where nobody knows how special they are.

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