Sunday, August 5, 2012

Duck, Duck, or Goose, Goose

The universe conspires against me.

More specifically, the universe thwarts my attempts at travel by blocking my path with various and sundry flora, fauna, and houses.

Today's roadblock was a barrier most fowl. You might have to look closely at my bad phone photo. But there they are. A pair of geese. I think they're geese. Sometimes The Pony and I argue over whether they might be ducks. With their bills intact! Not ripped off by some rogue air-conditioner repairman! We usually see them in a field along the road. Or swimming peacefully in the creek. But the last three days we've found them walking down the road, walking on the bridge, and now SITTING ON THE BRIDGE.

This picture was taken on my way home. At least one is standing, pretending to make an effort to get out of the way. They were both sitting down on my way to town. I might as well be driving on Bolivia's Death Road by the time I navigate my large SUV around them, taking care not to drop two tires over the side. The horn has no effect on them. On Friday, they continued with their leisurely stroll down the barely-two-lane blacktop, neither changing speed nor nor direction when I tooted.

No good is going to come of this behavior.


  1. I once tried to taunt a goose (when I was a kid) and the experience scarred my psyche. I still shudder at the memory.

    You should not mess with them. Choose another route. Back up--miles if necessary--and find another way if you encounter a goose.

  2. I say invite them to your home for dinner. Then teach them a little Shakespeare--Hamlet, I believe would be appropriate:

    "Murder most fowl
    But these fowl are strange, and unnatural."
    (okay not a direct quote but who cares)

    A foul ending for two strange and unnatural fowl.

  3. I hear in California the geese are really cocky now that foie gras has been outlawed.

  4. You sound like city folk, risking life an limb to maneuver around a couple of uppity birds rather than getting excited at the free food!

  5. Sioux knows. Get out to have a word with them and you will be over the side of the road.

  6. Sioux,
    That standing one does appear to have an attitude.

    Invite them to my home to BE dinner, perhaps. I could still quote Shakespeare for them.

    Well, those California geese are certainly no California cows!

    I guess I need to start totin' my shotgun that I don't know how to use. Filled with birdshot, of course.

    But they appear so deceptively sweet. Except the one with the chip on his shoulder.

    BLOGGER made a meal of your comments tonight, but I DID read them!

    I'll take your word for it that ducks and geese are mean. I told the boys today, upon driving around these critters again, "They need to watch it, or we're going to have us a good old-fashioned game of Squish, Squish, Squoosh."