You may recall that for the past several years, I've been pretty sure Hick is trying to kill me. If you don't recall, you can simply type pretty sure trying to kill me into the search bar in the upper left corner of my blog, and read more than you ever wanted about Hick's tactics.
Thursday, we had a storm come through. Rain all through Wednesday night, then dropping temperatures through the day on Thursday, with sleet and snow. Poor Pony! The snow part had barely started when he got home, and we only got about an inch, but the sleet was under it. All over our wooden porch and rails.
I was planning my very first solo trip to town on Friday, since my unfortunate HospitVALzation. Hick had relinquished T-Hoe to me. And now this weather crap.
"The Pony says it's supposed to be in the 40s tomorrow. I know the roads will be fine for T-Hoe. I'm kind of worried about falling on the sidewalks from the sleet. I guess by the time I get to town, it will be melted. Will you clean off the porch steps for me as you leave? I notice that my broom has disappeared, and my dustpan has been broken since I was in the hospital..."
"Pony broke the dustpan trying to clean off the steps to bring you home. The broom is somewhere in the garage. Besides, I got you a brand new broom and dustpan. They're in the back of your car."
"Doing me a lot of good there. Anyway, will you clean off the porch steps? They're always the last to melt."
"Yeah. The sun doesn't get to them. I'll put ice on them for you."
"WHAT? You'll put ICE on the steps for me? Now I KNOW you're trying to kill me!"
"I meant I'd put SALT on them for you."
"I am not a mind-reader. You said ICE."
"Oh, Val. You're so dramatic."
Huh. I'm not the one who told an unsteady recent hospitalite that I'd put ICE on the steps.
Men are idiots. Ice vs. salt? Idiots.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting slip of the tongue, substituting ICE for SALT!
DeleteSometimes, I wonder about men. And, I suppose you need to stay home to protect the broom and dustpan from them. Ice?
ReplyDeleteThe Pony tried to use the dustpan to chip the sleet off the steps, and broke it. He used the dustpan because the broom didn't work.
DeleteIt was kind of strange when Hick got me home, backed A-Cad into the garage, and The Pony exclaimed, "Oh, we DO have a snow shovel!" I guess Hick assigned The Pony to clear the steps for me, and didn't tell him there was a snow shovel in the garage.
Good thing I was weak, and didn't want to sweep the house for two weeks!
Funny how Hick said he'd put ICE on the steps. Makes me wonder about his motives.
He did say he MEANT salt, so I'd put this one down to a genuine slip of the tongue. Or mind.
ReplyDeleteOf course Hick didn't ADMIT that he was trying to kill me! At least he actually put down salt, so I did not have a genuine slip of my feet!
DeleteNext time Hick asks for salt when eating, throw him an ice cube! Oops! 😂
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! Sounds like a plan!
DeleteI knew what happened to the dustpan before I read everything!! I have sons, too. Well I did, only one now. He tried!
ReplyDeleteMy mom always told me, "Honey, they're all alike." I guess they think the same way.
Delete