Sunday, December 19, 2021

Don't Feed the Reaper

 Once again, Hick has reaped the benefits that come from simply being Hick. 

Our electricity went off at 2:20 a.m., and we had a restless night. You know. Because people need their electricity in the wee hours of the morning. It was off until 11:00 a.m. Our house must have good insulation, because the temp never went below 70, despite outside rain in the 30s. The only casualty was The Pony's shower, which he takes at 4:30 a.m. Not that he went to work dirty, after his 2+ hour soak in the big triangle tub in the master bathroom the night before.

Anyhoo... Hick got up around 6:30, and left for his Storage Unit Store. Which still had electricity, being on the other side of the prison, where the outage occurred. He determined this by checking his security cameras with his phone. I think. Details are sketchy. I was sleep-deprived.

Anyhoo... Hick returned home around 3:00, carrying a white plastic bag. I thought he'd gotten some bargain in trade.

"Ooh! What do we have?"

"WE don't have nothin'. But look what I have."

Hick set his bounty upon the slim sliver (as opposed to a fat sliver) of table that wasn't taken up by the 10 giant Christmas tins he'd bought for my Chex Mix. He had two large square containers, and a smaller round one.

"I was sittin' in my store, and a guy came walking up carrying this bag. He asked if I was Hick Thevictorian. I said I was, and he said, 'I'm supposed to deliver this to you, and tell you Happy Birthday.' So I said, 'Who's it from?' And he said, 'I don't know that. I'm just from Door Dash.' I opened it up, and there was eggs and bacon and sausage and hash browns and a biscuit. And then a giant pancake. With strawberry sauce and whipped cream! I'm getting ready to eat the rest of my sausage and biscuit now, then I'm coming back for my pancake."

"Who could have sent that to you?"

"I don't have no idea. I guess maybe some of them guys up at the units. Or somebody who shops with me who heard everybody wishing me a happy birthday. I really don't know. But it sure was good! It came from Huddle House, down the road. It was still hot. I ate some there, then left it in my truck. It should be fine. It was 37 degrees."

I don't know who sent breakfast to Hick. I sure didn't do it! I don't begrudge him a fancy breakfast eaten out of plastic in a storage unit. Funny how Hick never thinks anybody is trying to kill him. Which was my first thought, knowing that Hick most likely had eaten two or three donuts already when he chowed down on that gift breakfast.

8 comments:

  1. He has gift angels looking out for him! That's a huge breakfast, no wonder he had some to bring home. Why are those Christmas tins still on your table? Hick should have taken them to his storage unit already.

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    1. Hick probably brought some home because he was half-full from the breakfast he ate before this one arrived!

      Hick does not like to be told what to do. I fully expect those tins to sit there until I have a mini-fit, about a week after which Hick will store them in his Freight Container Garage until NEXT Christmas.

      However... I am using THREE of them for my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel's Christmas gift. I make a whole batch of Chex Mix for her every year, and she makes chocolate-covered cherries for me. Right now I have some of our home Chex Mix in two of them. That's because I have a shortage of the plastic tubs.

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  2. Someone got the Olde Christmas Spirit, I think. Could it have been the Pony? Or Genius? Or you, crafty Val?

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    1. I was HOPING it was The Pony, but when told of the bounty, he said, "OOH! I wonder who sent him that?" He rarely thinks of others, and did not even get Hick a card, and only wished him Happy Birthday around 6:30 p.m. when he got home from work.

      I didn't do it. I gave Hick scratchers and a card. He won $10.

      I'd like to think it was Genius, since he is the type to use Door Dash, and he knows there's a Huddle House down the road from the storage units. But he has not taken credit for it, which is unlike Genius.

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  3. Somebody sent us a Secret Santa snowman light up globe. My guy says I am not to sign in on my phone with any info to thank the secret sender. so, if it was you, thank you. I'm guessing it wasn't. That Hick is a hometown hero.

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    1. The snowman was not from me, but thank you for considering the slim possibility that it WAS! All Hero Hick needs is a cape, and somebody will probably GIVE that to him as well.

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  4. Hick is such a trusting soul! Like you, I would be a little suspicious! One of my campers gave us a $75 gift certificate to Red Lobster. I will enjoy it one day.

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    1. Hick got a gift card for playing Santa. It wasn't $75, and it wasn't Red Lobster! He was thrilled anyway.

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