Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Scene From the Clash Struggle in Backroads, Missouri

For many years, Hick has had a pattern of "helping" me with acts that actually cause great hindrance to my routine. It doesn't matter if I've asked fro the "help," or if Hick just takes such a good deed upon himself. It never works out the way he imagines. We clash on this regularly. 

Last week, Hick mentioned that he'd be going to Walmart for some light bulbs, and a few last-minute toys for Santa to give the kids at the pre-school function he would be attending. 
I had a request:

"Since The Pony is so busy these days, and can't get to Walmart, will you look for those plastic containers I use to give out Chex Mix for Christmas? [The Pony got up and counted through the ones I have in the pantry and closet.] I'll need at least 14. They usually come in a 2-pack or 3-pack. Get more than one pattern."

A normal man would likely text his wife with a picture before buying 14 containers. Hick is not a normal man.

I didn't know which day Hick went to Walmart. But a couple days later, he said,

"I got your tins. They're on the kitchen table."

"My WHAT?"

"Your tins. That you wanted for the Chex Mix."

"Oh! My containers! How many did you get?"

"Ten. That's all I saw."

"Oh. Well. That's not enough, but it's a start. Were they over by the frozen food bins, like I told you?"


"Up front, in the Christmas stuff?"

"No. They was on a back aisle when I was getting the dog food and light bulbs."

"Huh. I've never found them back there."

A while later, I got up to go to the kitchen, and saw my containers.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD??? WHY did you get THESE containers! I can't use them!"

"Why not? It's what you wanted."

"Um. They actually ARE tins! GIANT tins! Do you know how much Chex Mix they'll hold? We'll go broke if I fill these up to give out! They'll hold at least three times the amount as my usual containers!"

Yes. That's what Hick bought instead of that smaller plastic container I've perched on top. He bought TEN of them! You can see them, still piled on the table. Along with Hick's other clutter, like an almost-empty bag of York Peppermint Patties, a dirty pair of work gloves, 4/6 of a Diet Mountain Dew 6-pack, and a partially-used bag of white cotton work gloves. Oh, that's Hick's package in the background. Now empty.

I don't know what I'm going to do with all these containers. At least they weren't expensive. $4.48 for TWO. So $22.40 plus tax. Oh, the one I took out for posing? Is dented. Flat on one side. I haven't checked the other nine.


  1. Sometimes when I ask my husband to bring things that are not our usual stuff, even when I explain what it is that I am needing, he will bring home some of the most unusual things, that I never even knew or thought of to say don't
    get such and such, it's whatever and I start to tell
    him what it is. He shushes me and sometimes the results are pretty unusual. I would say your husband outdid himself this time. You would really need a lot of chex for those. Oh well, they mean well.

    1. They are all-knowing, bringing home what THEY think we need, and we'd better be thrilled to get it, even if we have no use for it!

      I already make 5 batches of Chex Mix every year. This would need 15! It takes two hours to bake each batch, and about 30 minutes putting it together, then filling the plastic tubs. Not to mention the cooling time! Hick wants me to spend over 37 hours making Chex Mix!!!

  2. Hick should be able to sell them at his store, $4.98 for two.

    1. Heh, heh! That made me snort!

      OR, Hick could take one to the auction, and when he buys treats there like the homemade cookies and cake, he could ask for a discount since he brought his own container.

  3. Just return them. They wll take them back before CHristmas.

    1. Oh, I have no doubt Walmart would take them back. They'd probably take them back even if they had crumbs inside!

      Our friend the insurance adjuster used to go there to buy a camera if he forgot his at home, and then return it at the end of the day.

  4. Can you get the receipt and take them back? Can you tell people there has been a disaster in your kitchen so there will be no chex-mix this year? Your only other option is to go and buy the proper containers yourself.

    1. I doubt Hick still has the receipt. It isn't worth the effort to me to haul them all into Walmart, wait in line, explain why I don't have the receipt, and get a credit to traipse around the store to get something else that value. There's a reason I call that place THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND!

      Hick has not offered to return them. If I wanted to go buy them myself, I wouldn't have told HICK to get them!

      I've afraid to withhold the Chex Mix! Last year, I was still being chastised in March by my sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife because I didn't give Chex Mix to my niece's daughter, who was six years old! I've never given Chex to children! Yet she swore I DID, and slighted the little cherub last year!

      Maybe I should fill a #9 washtub with Chex, and have the family line up at T-Hoe's rear, with plastic tubs from Christmases past. Like those kids in the 1968 Oscar-winning film "Oliver" lining up with bowls for gruel. And nobody better DARE to say, "Please, Val, may I have some more?"

  5. It's beginning to look a LOT like Christmas . . .la-di-dah"

    1. You ain't a-woofin'! I bet one of those tubs would hold 5 1/2 dozen Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies!

  6. "maybe Is hould fill a #9 washtub..." I just spit peach tea. You always make me laugh.

    1. There is something so satisfying about the thought of them lining up to be doled out meager portions of my Chex Mix!