Wednesday, February 3, 2021

With Hick You Get Egg Roll

Last Friday, Hick called from his Storage Unit Store to ask if The Pony was up and presentable. Of course. It was after noon. Hick said (even though he had been instructed BY VAL to turn down any FREE food, due to our little freezer being full of the Ponytail Guy's meat), he had taken just a few things. So few, in fact, that he needed The Pony to come out and help him carry them in.
 
Hick was quick to declare that he ONLY had a box of egg rolls, some milk (or as he pronounces it, MELK), and a bag of the good sausage patties that I like. Huh. Seems to me that would be easily carryable by Hick, even with a bad arm and a PopArm.
 
Therein lies the problem. I ASSUMED that a box of egg rolls meant 10, or a dozen. Like the boxes of not-very-good frozen egg rolls I get at Country Mart. You know what happens when we assume. Our little beast of burden, The Pony, trotted in toting a giant box. 
 
"Dad couldn't lift it with his bad arm."

WE HAVE 96 EGG ROLLS!
 
 
LOOK AT THAT! It's what's left of the 96 egg rolls that The Pony had not yet put into gallon freezer bags. They look like they're in a coffin! The good news is that they're the FAT and TASTY egg rolls, like you get from a Chinese restaurant. Not the THIN and MEALY Country Mart poor imitations.
 
"Pony, I'm starting to think the Chinese place doesn't make their own egg rolls! I thought each restaurant made their own, because they're so different."
 
"Nah. More like they have different suppliers."
 
"Yeah. These sure look like the egg rolls we get there. Except I'm not deep-frying them. I'll put them in the oven. What does the box say for directions?"
 
"Um. Nothing. Only to cook until they reach 165 degrees, using a thermometer."
 
"Well, that's not happening. I'll put them in the oven at 400 for 10 minutes, then turn them and cook another 10. That should be close enough."
 

 
IT WAS! These egg rolls are delicious! Here's one that had popped open that we laid out for thawing, to shove in the oven and sample them. They're pork egg rolls, stuffed with cabbage.
 
The egg rolls got crispy in the oven, and were as greasy as if I had dropped them in a vat of hot oil! I had a jar of duck sauce (from Country Mart) that I used for dipping. Hick wanted some hot mustard, which is now on my shopping list. The Pony was going to make a concoction of spicy chili oil and mayo. No thanks.
 
One thing's for sure. We DO NOT need 96 egg rolls.
 
I guess I could start my own snack shack when Hick eventually opens up Hick's Shackytown Amusement Park and Roadside Attraction. I will call it Val's Egg Roll Hidey-Hole.

10 comments:

  1. I think you may leave your lair earlier than usual if you start hawking egg rolls at Shacky town. Why mess with a good thing?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. AND I could eat them all myself! So maybe I will keep my Hidey-Hole shut.

      Delete
  2. I require at least 2 packets of duck sauce on my egg rolls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When we get the packets, I also require two per egg roll. So maybe next time we get carryout Chinese, I'll have Hick ask for 192 packets of duck sauce. You know how people like to give him things...

      Delete
  3. Do not even hint at this to Hick!! He will think it is a great idea and he will set you up with a commercial fryer by his storage unit store!! I once told HeWho that I was glad I didn't have a cotton candy make because I would become diabetic. He took that to mean I wanted one and said I could sell it at craft shows. He said we could pull a trailer behind the motor home and he would make BBQ and sell his stained glass creations and I could man the food selling and make cotton candy and he would sell my sewing crafts for me. NOT MY DREAM!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will donate the egg rolls, and Hick and HeWho can travel the land selling egg rolls and BBQ and stained glass creations and assorted Goodwill treasures and firearms. Hope nobody wants cotton candy!

      Delete
  4. So that's what an egg roll is. I remember reading about them in a book called "With Six You Get Eggroll" and then again in the movie of the same name, but I never knew what they actually were. I always think of a beaten egg, fried, then rolled up. Nothing exciting in that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even know if there are eggs in them! They are definitely delicious when hot and crispy. Even without duck sauce or spicy mustard.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Too bad I can't dispense them over the internet!

      Delete