Tuesday, February 9, 2021

No Do-Gooder Goes Unpunished

Hick had another story for me today, when I got home from town around 2:30. He was housebound for a while, due to some inconvenient snow and sleet. Not a lot. Just at the wrong time. My town trip time! Hick had called at noon to warn me that schools were closing early due to weather. And to tell me that he was headed to town to meet a guy for a business deal.

"Wait! There's a storm coming, and you're going to town?"

"It just started snowing. Besides, you're the one who worries about walking on the parking lots. I'll be fine. I just wanted you to know that you might want to leave earlier."

A nice gesture, in theory. But it didn't change the time I had gotten up, or cut short my dishwashing, or magically wave a magic wand to clean me in place of a shower. I left about a half hour earlier, and was right in the thick of it. No incidents befell me.

Anyhoo... here's Hick's story:

"I went to eat at the new Mexican place across from the post office [dead-mouse-smelling post office]. I had a lunch special for $8. As I was eating, the little girl at the next table started talking to me. She asked my name, and if I had any dogs. Her mom tried to apologize, but I told her it was fine, I didn't mind."

"Did you at least tell her about our dogs?"

"Yes. I told her. I asked how old she was. Six. Her mom looked really young, so I said, 'What are you, about 24?'"

"You can't ask her that! What's next? Are you going to say, 'What are you, about 115 pounds?' It's too stalkery!"

"I was just making conversation with her, Val."

"Dad. You have to admit, that's a little bit weird to ask a woman her age. Someone you don't even know, in a restaurant."

"Oh, it wasn't nothin'. She said she had another daughter at home, five years old."

"Call social services! Home alone!"

"No. I imagine someone was with the five-year-old, and she had to pick up the little girl at school when it called off early."

Neither The Pony nor I pointed out that most five-year-olds would also be in school...

"I figured I'd be nice and pay for their meal. The lady had a plate, and a glass of tea, and the little girl had a soda. When I went up to the counter to pay for mine, I said, 'Let me have their ticket, too. I want to pay for their food.' The gal gave me their bill, and it was $24! She had ordered some takeout for when they left! I thought I was going to pay about $8-10, but it was $24! I went ahead and paid it anyway."

"Wow. I bet she was panicked, after you asked her age and everything, and then paid. These days that's kind of creepy."

"No. It's not creepy. I bet she WAS surprised when she went up to pay, and she didn't owe anything. I'd a lot rather have paid $8, but I'd already said I wanted their ticket."

"That's what you get for being overly nice!"

I hope Hick wasn't a close-sitter! If he didn't know she ordered take-out to go, then that lady and her daughter must have been sitting down before Hick. Yet he was close enough that the daughter wanted to chat with him. 
I don't think Hick will go broke any time soon. He probably made more than $24 off his business deal before lunch.


  1. THIS is why I'm wary of paying for someone else's food, you never know hw much they've already spent or pre-ordered to take later. So of course I never do such a good deed.

    1. I think Hick learned his lesson! He might not do that again unless he overhears the order.

  2. Replies
    1. I know! If somebody sat down by me at the casino, and started speculating on my age, I would DEFINITELY think it was stalky, and I'd get up and leave. The slot, not the whole casino, of course! Nobody's running VAL out of a casino!