No. Hick and I are not going fishing. He has fishing poles on the brain, lately. All day long, he putters around in the BARn, repairing and sorting some of the hundreds of poles he's bought at the auctions. He does a good business on them at his Storage Unit Store. Now that he can't sell, he's refurbishing his stock.
Hick knocks off his retired work around 5:30 or 6:00. He comes to the house for supper, and to commandeer the living room TV. I think he was watching Cabin Masters, when he said,
"See that? Their stair rail?"
"No. You should have said it when it was on the screen. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Well, I'm going to do that. Only make my stair rail with fishing poles."
You can probably imagine the look I could not keep off my face. First of all, we have no need for a stair rail. Not unless Hick is planning to build some stairs to nowhere. Maybe he's going to be like that Winchester lady and her mansion. More incredible than the lack of need for stairs was my concept of a STAIR RAIL made of FISHING POLES.
"How can you even do that?"
"They wouldn't have the hooks on them, Val. And I'd take off the reels."
"SERIOUSLY? I can't imagine using a fishing pole as a stair rail! A rail is to steady yourself if you start to fall. Or prevent a fall. I can't imagine being able to walk up or down stairs trying to grasp a FISHING POLE! I wouldn't even be able to get a grip on it. Much less support myself on that flimsy thing."
"Fishing poles are strong, Val. They don't break. Or you'd break them catching a fish."
"How could I even hold onto it? They're so thin!"
"Naw. A fishing pole can be as thick as a man's finger."
"That won't support me if I'm holding on to walk down the stairs!"
"Val. The actual rail is still going to be a board. The fishing poles fit into the board. Like the spokes."
"OH! You mean the fishing poles will be the BALUSTERS!"
"Yeah. You can't ever understand nothin'!"
"You don't explain yourself! Nobody could have figured that out from what you said! You said you were going to make a stair rail out of fishing poles!"
"Anyone else would have known what I meant. It's you. You just don't get things."
I beg to differ. Unless everyone else has a crystal ball to see what's in Hick's head.
I pictured the hand rail with the fishing poles as the balusters. I did not particularly like the picture.
ReplyDeleteI'm not seeing it myself. I don't share Hick's vision.
DeleteI think you would still have to have wood to stabilize the ting. Fishing pole do snap and break or why would he have to fix them all the time??????
ReplyDeleteI can't be sure, because Hick is not a good explainer, but I think he would have a handrail made of wood, supported at intervals by more wood, with fishing poles filling in the spaces between supports.
DeleteI have no idea if the fishing poles would be vertical, like balusters, or horizontal, like a fancy wrought-iron-and-cable rail system.
"What we have here is a failure to communicate."
ReplyDeleteJust one of many failures in Thevictorian household!
DeleteI agree with you, he should have said balusters. on the other hand, fishing poles might be strong for hauling in fish, but they do bend quite a lot as you'll see if you watch any big game fishing show for just a few minutes, so who's to say those balusters wouldn't go all bendy when someone is holding the rail for support? and why does he need a stair anyway? Is he planning a mezzanine in one of his barns?
ReplyDeleteI think the rail itself would be supported by wood, but I wonder about a child or pet tumbling into the fishing pole part, and maybe falling through.
DeleteHick said he is planning on building TWO MORE SHEDS! I guess one will be a stair shed. You know how he is about themes...
I have been on the verge of tears lately, and your post has them flowing. I am laughing so hard at you two. Thanks, I needed that!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, I think. Sorry for your tears, but glad I could release them.
DeleteI saw that episode!! I love that show. They come up with some really unique ways to customize a cabin. But, I imagined a rail made out of a fishing pole, too and wondered. And I had seen the episode!!
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! Good to know that I was not as stupid as Hick wanted me to believe. After all, you SAW the episode, and couldn't figure out Hick's plan!
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