That's a loaded question, I know. Loaded, overloaded, overflowing, ready to burst and spray smart-a$$ comments from Val over a distance of six feet.
It's been 13 days since our last casino visit in Oklahoma. Hick and I are healthy as horses, although Hick is a sniffly nag. He's not yet ready to be beaten. No fever or cough or anything but snot. He's had it twice since we came back, and it goes away in a few days. I think he might have a little allergy thing going on. He mowed the front five acres yesterday, right before his sniffles returned.
Anyhoo...it's no secret that Hick is a regular do-gooder. He has promised to drive a friend to a city hospital next week. Twice. Once to get a medical device removed, and the next day to have a chemotherapy treatment. Normally, I would not begrudge this woman my husband for two days. For whatever reason, her grown children cannot take her. She planned to drive herself the first day, but Hick volunteered for that task also.
Here' the kicker. The gal told him two days ago: "You can't go in with me."
That's a good thing, probably. That Hick can't go into a hospital where there might be sick people. But I'd think the least sick place would be the area where they're treating outpatients with chemotherapy. Hick is fine with sitting in SilverRedO, fiddling with his phone. It may take hours. Nobody knows. What has us both concerned is:
WHERE WILL HICK GO TO THE BATHROOM?
The city is on lockdown, according to the local news. Normally, Hick would shop at Goodwills while waiting, and use their facilities. He can go to a gas station, since they're still open to business. But are their restrooms? Even the local Country Mart has a big sign now saying NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. A buddy told Hick to go to a Walmart. We try to stay out of the crowds lately. But I guess if Hick has no other option, that's what he'll do.
Of course, being Hick, he has his own solution.
"I'm going to take myself a can to pee in, just in case I can't find nowhere."
As always resourceful.ReplyDelete
He IS! I can't wait to see what vessel he comes up with for this task. I guess Hick will use the process of elimination...Delete
A man can always find a place to pee and make it look like he is checking a tire, or picking daises.ReplyDelete
I don't know... When Hick was still working, he was questioned by the police just for TAKING A NAP in his car the last 15 minutes of his lunch hour, while parked within the spaces on a public park's parking lot. Where he ate his convenience store hot dogs several days a week, for at least five years.Delete
I think Hick can make any activity look suspicious.
A can or a bottle always work great, if not a tree someplace semi private works or even open the door at angle and in the back side of the hospital parking works if absolutely emergency status comes about or is the the floating eyeball test. Either way good on him for helping out. It is who we really are that matters.ReplyDelete
Hick usually pulls off the road, opens the front and back doors, and stands in between to do his business. I'm afraid he would be caught on surveillance camera if the did this on the hospital parking lot.Delete
Hick IS a good helper-outer. That's one of his best qualities.
Police in stake-outs use plastic milk jugs, have lids. Good man.ReplyDelete
Heh, heh! I suggested this to Hick, saying that a milk jug looks pretty much like a urinal they give guys in the hospital. Hick begged to differ.Delete
"NO it doesn't! It has a little bitty hole in the top!"
"Don't flatter yourself so much!"
"And you can put a urinal between your legs to pee."
"You can put the milk jug there too."
"HOW? No way can you fit a milk jug there!"
OH MY GOSH! Hick automatically assumed I was talking about a GALLON milk jug! Even though I've never bought that size, we've never had one in FRIG II, since we are not milk drinkers, and the boys never liked it except for cereal. All we ever had was the plastic half gallon size, which I think is pretty close to the size of a hospital urinal.
Aaaarrrgh!! Please tell me Hick plans to take a can WITH A LID! or a large bottle WITH A SCREW CAP. I'm surprised your Goodwill stores have facilities for the public. Ours don't. If we need to go we have to leave the store and head to the nearest public facility in a shopping mall or maybe a pub.ReplyDelete
I am glad that Hick is taking SilverRedO! At first I thought he was driving A-Cad. But for pee purposes, and in case his friend gets nauseous from her treatment, SilverRedO is the best choice.Delete
Hick is an authority on Goodwills, and touts them as a public bathroom opportunity if I am with him.
Like everyone says, this isn't an issue for a guy. My Dad bought a urinal for when he would travel to come here from Mississippi. First time he tried it out (while driving) he managed to spill it all over himself, causing him to pull over and change pants. Must have been that big opening ….ReplyDelete
While driving! That reminds me of a college acquaintance (female) who tried such a stunt in a McDonald's cup. She was pulled over by the police for swerving. I think it happened before the actual act, and she got a warning. I guess the cops have heard it all.Delete
Watch your tupperware. He will need a lid!ReplyDelete
I'm glad Hick doesn't know where anything is! That's what he always claims when not putting something away. I have the Tupperware elongated-triangle-shape juice container, with the flip-top lid.Delete
If he takes that, it's never coming back in the house!