Poor Hick. He's been betrayed. I feel sympathy for him. Mark your calendar.
Hick called me on Thursday afternoon, from his Storage Unit Store. He commenced a tale so sad that my cold, cold heart thawed a couple of degrees. Fahrenheit.
"I was putting away two guns I bought at the auction Monday night, in my gun safe here at the store. It has those pouches on the door, like our safe at home. I had put some guitar strings in there that my buddy gave me, when his son put new strings on his guitar. They were coiled up, a set of strings. I probably could have got ten dollars for them. But now they're GONE! Them, and two rolls of dollar coins! There's an old man who always pays me with dollar coins. They're short rolls. I think maybe $10 rolls. Somebody stole my coins and guitar strings!"
"You leave your gun safe open???"
"I have to. So people can see what I got. I just have it unlocked, with the door pushed to. If they ask me, they can pull it open and look at the guns. They can't steal them. I can see if they walk out with one. I only have two handguns, and I keep them on a table where I sit."
"I'm pretty sure it was a gun LOOKER who took your strings and coins. Not a gun BUYER."
"Yeah."
Well. I am simply SHOCKED! Aren't you? Shocked that customers at a flea market are not the fine upstanding members of society who would never take something that didn't belong to them. All I can say is, "Sh*tbums gonna sh*tbum." They come in looking for something for nothing, and make sure they get it.
Here's my suggestion to Hick. Find a classy box or envelope. Or get a padded little manila envelope. Inside, put a mousetrap, and a note card that says, "Not TODAY, rat!" Tape it up so it's difficult to open.
Heh, heh. I can imagine a thief picking up that little envelope, feeling it, thinking something good is inside, stuffing it in his shirt, and opening it later in the car. I'm kinda warped like that. I know the mousetrap can't be set to snap on them. It's just the idea. To let them know that Hick is aware of their shenanigans.
I'm not sure Hick is picking up what I'm laying down. He sat in the La-Z-Boy later, saying that there are still 26 coins left in the pocket of the safe! Loose. Not in rolls. Just dropped down in there. He guesses the thief didn't notice them. The two rolls were on top of the guitar strings, and might have come up when the guitar strings were pulled on.
SHEESH! You can't leave your valuables in an OPEN SAFE! Of course sh*tbums are gonna be rifling through it. It's a SAFE! For keeping valuables!
Hick did say that he thinks he'll take his 26 dollar coins out of the pocket Friday when he opens. I said he needs to keep an eye on the people who ask about guns, but don't buy one. He has a great memory for faces. I'm sure they'll keep coming back. He can check to see if his special package is gone when they leave. Then the next time, he can take a picture, heh, heh, so they'll know something's up. And maybe quit going in Hick's store.
Could he display the guns on a table with a chain through the trigger cover and locked down?
ReplyDeleteAlso, guitar strings brand new are less than $10, some under $6...for used strings I would pay...um...nothing.
That sounds like it would be too much trouble for Hick to set up three days a week. He has his unit so crammed with "merchandise" that he doesn't have room to leave a table.
DeleteGuitar strings might be the one item that Hick doesn't know the going rate. Or else he knows his local customers pretty well. Apparently, used guitar strings are worth stealing!
They might make a pretty good garrote...you don't have any ne'er do-wells around do you? Wait, that would be the thief!
DeleteThis would make sense, because the thief didn't buy or steal a gun. So he had to improvise his possible weapon.
DeleteHick is doubly mad now, because the dollar-coin-spender came in today for a pocket knife, and said those rolls contain $25 worth of coins! So Hick actually lost $50 (and some USED GUITAR STRINGS). Do you know how many $1-profit sales he'll have to make to replace that value? FIFTY!
There is no honor among thieves.
ReplyDeleteI hope someone in the crowd picked his pockets before he left!
DeleteI have to say it. If someone stole from that pouch, I would straight away remove everything else from that pouch and any other accessible place and lock things away in a proper safe. Of course I wouldn't have money just hanging around like that in the first place. Not even here at home, let alone a place where strangers can wander in and out.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I can't believe Hick left those coins in there. That thief probably thought they were some rare, valuable item instead of common dollar coins.
DeleteHard way to learn and now I am feeling bad for Hick! I have a better idea for revenge. Those glue traps. If he could stick them strategically in hiding spots, whoever pokes their fingers in them will be stuck to the trap and will want to leave to get it off. Hick would see the culprit with a glue board stuck on his hand and know who to watch out for. That glue is near impossible to get off without leaving skin behind. I have seen tiny mouse limbs left on the boards from escapees. It would be fun, too!
ReplyDeleteI have stopped feeling bad for Hick, because the remaining coins ARE STILL IN THE SAFE! He said he left it locked, and walked people back there to look.
DeleteAND he thinks he knows the thief. As he described him, "some scraggly guy who I remember, not too clean, who was there with his brother, and didn't buy anything, and asked me to look at the guns again."
Oh my gosh! No glue traps! Hick would forget, and then I'd have to rip off his fingerprints!