Hick's Storage Unit Store Has a Rat

Poor Hick. He's been betrayed. I feel sympathy for him. Mark your calendar.

Hick called me on Thursday afternoon, from his Storage Unit Store. He commenced a tale so sad that my cold, cold heart thawed a couple of degrees. Fahrenheit.

"I was putting away two guns I bought at the auction Monday night, in my gun safe here at the store. It has those pouches on the door, like our safe at home. I had put some guitar strings in there that my buddy gave me, when his son put new strings on his guitar. They were coiled up, a set of strings. I probably could have got ten dollars for them. But now they're GONE! Them, and two rolls of dollar coins! There's an old man who always pays me with dollar coins. They're short rolls. I think maybe $10 rolls. Somebody stole my coins and guitar strings!"

"You leave your gun safe open???"

"I have to. So people can see what I got. I just have it unlocked, with the door pushed to. If they ask me, they can pull it open and look at the guns. They can't steal them. I can see if they walk out with one. I only have two handguns, and I keep them on a table where I sit."

"I'm pretty sure it was a gun LOOKER who took your strings and coins. Not a gun BUYER."

"Yeah."

Well. I am simply SHOCKED! Aren't you? Shocked that customers at a flea market are not the fine upstanding members of society who would never take something that didn't belong to them. All I can say is, "Sh*tbums gonna sh*tbum." They come in looking for something for nothing, and make sure they get it.

Here's my suggestion to Hick. Find a classy box or envelope. Or get a padded little manila envelope. Inside, put a mousetrap, and a note card that says, "Not TODAY, rat!" Tape it up so it's difficult to open.

Heh, heh. I can imagine a thief picking up that little envelope, feeling it, thinking something good is inside, stuffing it in his shirt, and opening it later in the car. I'm kinda warped like that. I know the mousetrap can't be set to snap on them. It's just the idea. To let them know that Hick is aware of their shenanigans.

I'm not sure Hick is picking up what I'm laying down. He sat in the La-Z-Boy later, saying that there are still 26 coins left in the pocket of the safe! Loose. Not in rolls. Just dropped down in there. He guesses the thief didn't notice them. The two rolls were on top of the guitar strings, and might have come up when the guitar strings were pulled on.

SHEESH! You can't leave your valuables in an OPEN SAFE! Of course sh*tbums are gonna be rifling through it. It's a SAFE! For keeping valuables!

Hick did say that he thinks he'll take his 26 dollar coins out of the pocket Friday when he opens. I said he needs to keep an eye on the people who ask about guns, but don't buy one. He has a great memory for faces. I'm sure they'll keep coming back. He can check to see if his special package is gone when they leave. Then the next time, he can take a picture, heh, heh, so they'll know something's up. And maybe quit going in Hick's store.