As you read this, T-Hoe is in the capable hands of Mick the Mechanic. I'm pretty sure T-Hoe's brain will be turned off at some point. Then he'll be revived before I pick him up. To keep my mind off the multiple procedures, Hick is taking me to a casino. Actually, it has more to do with the camouflage water bottle and the FREE CASH and LUNCH CREDIT we'll be getting. But I can pretend.
I met Hick at Mick's after procuring my magical elixir, so he could give me a ride home. The journey of what seems like a thousand miles riding with Hick begins with an awkward step up on SilverRedO's pipe-like running board. Then it progresses to a skootch across a cloth seat while avoiding a doorknob on the rubber floor mat.
SilverRedO is not a vehicle I frequent. My last trip in him was probably from the main post office over to Hick House to see the progress, since I didn't want a repeat of getting T-Hoe stuck in PARK on that hill. SilverRedO has a decent ride for a 4WD pickup truck. In spite of the sweaver behind the wheel. There was one issue, though...
"Whew! SilverRedO smells like a dirty old truck!"
"Well. It is. It's a truck. I use it like a truck, Val."
"It didn't used to smell this way, when you first got it. Not even last time I was in it, back in May or June."
"I don't smell anything."
"It's like a musty, closed up, dirty house kind of smell."
"Huh. I got a box of them clothes back there. Out of my old storage unit stuff, that I'm going to wash and sell."
Indeed. A turn of my head revealed a Rubbermaid tub of assorted clothing, a fleece sweatshirt on top. That'll do it! That was EXACTLY what SilverRedO smelled like.
Hick needs to get some of those cardboard deodorant trees at the car wash, to hang from SilverRedO's mirror.
A proper truck should have an unusual odor or two.
ReplyDeleteAnd a dent, which SilverRedO has on the rear bumper.
DeleteI hate those cardboard deodorant trees, no matter which "flavour" they are, they all give me headaches. What Hick needs to do is seal dirty clothes in a plastic garbage bag when transporting them.
ReplyDeleteWhen the boys were younger, I noticed a strong smell when I passed through the kitchen. I thought maybe Hick had tracked in some chemical on his work boots, or had been spraying weed killer, or maybe a jug of his home-mixed spray was leaking in the adjacent laundry room. I was bent over, inspecting the floor, sniffing around, when I realized that overpowering odor was coming from the cutting block. Genius had laid a cardboard scent tree that had been tossed along with candy and small advertising objects during the school parade. Good thing he didn't leave it in his bag of candy!
DeleteI think Hick was planning to drive those clothes from his Freight Container Garage to the house, but made several side trips before accomplishing his mission.
Those clothes could have bedbugs!!!!!!! be very careful about letting him bring them inside your house. I would lay them outside and spray them first. Now I am itching just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteNOT-HEAVEN NOOOOO! They have been in the Freight Container Garage for over two years. Surely Hick himself would be infested by now, after handling those clothes. He's sorted them many a time to give away and sell. I will pass along your concerns. However, Hick is not known for his logical thinking skills. He often bypasses my advice!
DeleteWell, I cannot imagine a man not taking his wife's advice!
ReplyDeleteI KNOW, RIGHT? I actually told him, but he was sneaky, and had started a load of laundry on Friday evening, rather than his usual SUNDAY evening. In fact, he had a short stack of kids' sock caps on the coffee table. The kind with a long tail thingy. They WERE cute.
DeleteHick said his version of PSHAW at the advice, declaring that the items had been in his Freight Container Garage for a year and a half, and were safe. AS IF that lengthy sojourn was something to be proud of...