Don't Worry About Hick, He's Used to Doubling Up

The title is brought to you by Mrs. Floyd, owner of the Monarch Boarding House, in the original True Grit, when Mattie Ross of near Dardanelle in Yell County is trying to rent a room. The Monarch is full to the brim, because everyone has come to town to see the hanging. Which has nothing to do with Mattie, who has come to claim her father's body, and hire Rooster Cogburn to catch his killer, Tom Chaney. I won't give away any more of the plot, because, you know...some of you might not have caught the original True Grit back in 1968, and I don't want to ruin it for you...

Anyhoo...Mrs. Floyd reveals that Mattie is expected to share a room and bed with Grandma Turner, a little old lady shown snoozing away under the covers. "Don't you worry about Grandma Turner, she's used to doubling up."

Well, the title doesn't mean that Hick is used to sleeping with strangers in a boarding house. It means that Hick has recently DOUBLED THE MONEY he spent on those 18 storage units. Indeed, he paid back the original $1100 investment within two weeks, and as of this week, has taken in another $1200. AND he still has a lot of stuff to get rid of.

It helps that he had a major Tupperware buyer in Bev, our backcreek neighbor. And that Hick has connections at a couple of auctions. He knows a lady who buys furniture and sundry items there, to resell at her shop halfway to the city. Hick is an astute businessman, or maybe just an incredibly nosy busybody. He knew how much that lady usually bid on stuff, and what she bought. So he told her after the auction last weekend,

"I have some stuff you might like. I bought 18 storage units, and I've got my new garage (the Freight Container Garage) full of furniture and Tupperware. I'd sell it to you for what you pay here at the auction, and you'd know how much, without maybe losing it to a higher bidder. It would save me the trouble of bringing it up here to sell, and also the 20% commission from the auctioneer. You can come look at it, and if you can't haul it in your SUV, I'll deliver it with my trailer."

You probably won't be shocked, nor was I, though Hick was somewhat taken aback...that Auction Lady brought her brother with her. I told Hick that she would have been a fool not to. She doesn't know him! He could be some crazy creeper, luring her to her demise. Even with his Poparm, I'm pretty sure Hick is stronger than most women he meets at the auction. Besides, I doubt that Auction Lady had any intentions of carrying furniture by herself.

Anyhoo...Hick agreed to meet Auction Lady at 1:00 in the afternoon, on Monday, to give her a private showing of his storage unit inventory. She liked what she saw, and bought $300 worth of end tables and lamps and Tupperware and dishes. She said it was exactly the stuff that sells well in her shop. She is planning to come back another time to see about the dresses Hick has with tags still on them, brand new. And more Tupperware.

Hick is also keeping some items for himself. Like this scoreboard, that actually works.

Hick is planning to put it in his sports-themed shack. The Mayor of Shackytown has been neglecting his burg lately.

Thursday, Hick spent the majority of the day re-organizing his Storage Unit Store for the upcoming weekend of selling, and sorting out his fishing pole inventory. He said he has 45 rods and reels in good condition, with another five of them that need some work. He says he'll get $5 apiece out of them. The guy a couple units down sells them for $12, and tells Hick that he's giving them away. However...Hick has pointed out that his are gone, and he's got money in his pocket, while that guy's fishing poles are still hanging there.

Hick is having a blast with this storage unit stuff.