Back-of-the-Book-Blurb #97 "The Great Doll Purge of 3000"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. It's been a while. I've been on sabbatical, taking a much-deserved rest from fake-writing my fake books. I'm happy to announce that overnight, I came up with a new one! That's right. My fake spirit has been renewed, and I might be churning these babies out again like there's no tomorrow. Jump back on the bandwagon, and pony up your fake money for my latest fake release!

The Great Doll Purge of 3000

Times are dire. The Imperial Exalted Ruler has decreed that by the year 3000, the possession of dolls by the general public will be a crime punishable by death. Children will be raised without feelings. Without opinions. Without love. Efficient workers don't really care about helping people.

Hardcore doll enthusiasts are going underground. Hiding their collections. The less scrupulous are forming a new industry. Providing clandestine services. An hour of doll play brings them an exorbitant profit.

Will the Powers That Be find a way to purge the the world of dolls? Or will revolutionists make a crybaby out of The Imperial Exalted Ruler? (104 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Chatty Cathy..."I have a lot to say on this subject! A world without dolls is not one that I want to live in. And a world WITH Val Thevictorian churning out fake books is also a world that I don't want to live in." 

Betsy Wetsy..."The very thought of Thevictorian fake-releasing another fake book makes me tinkle a little bit. It's time for a change."

Mrs. Beasley..."I hope I shan't have to go into hiding! Buffy would miss me terribly. Mr. French would have to neglect his manservant duties to Uncle Bill, and spend all day searching for me. This fake author should hole up in her squalid shack, and stop trying to scare the bejeebers out of little orphaned girls in New York penthouses."

Chucky..."The fake books of this fake author make me feel all stabby. I wouldn't fake-buy one if I was you..."

Estelle Costanza..."I hope nobody ever makes a doll that looks like Val Thevictorian. Nobody wants something that creepy sitting on their shelf. Just like nobody wants her fake books sitting on their shelf."

Dolly the sheep..."Surely this fake author can't be the real thing. Her fake work needs to be kept secret, lest others copy her, and set in motion the downfall of humanity."

Dalai Lama..."This fake author has singlehandedly destroyed my faith in humanity. I hope she is never reincarnated."

Dolly Madison..."This fake author has no social graces whatsoever. Her fake book suggests dire consequences for society. If Thevictorian had been in the White House that fateful day, I would have gladly left her behind, to suffer any and all indignities of the British soldiers, while George Washington's portrait and I made our getaway."

Dolly Madison..."This fake author is a ding dong! She might think her fake books have the shelf life of a Twinkie, but she's wrong. She needs to take a powder, and cease production of her self-professed gems. The public will NOT be clamoring for more when Thevictorian's fake work is removed from the shelves."

Holly Madison..."Wait a minute! What am I doing reviewing a fake book? There are lots of fake things about me (which Hef really loved), and I've written my own book that some call fake. But I have no desire to review a piece of trash like this, even if it gives me 1 more minute of fame past my original 15. If Thevictorian was the girl next door...the neighborhood would be emptier than Chernobyl."

Baby from Dirty Dancing..."Somebody needs to put Thevictorian in a corner."

Babe Didrikson Zaharias..."I excelled at a lot of things. But Thevictorian cannot even master one. She needs to be a sport, and give up this fake-writing dream of hers."

Babe Ruth..."Thevictorian didn't hit a home run with this fake book. She should definitely let the fear of striking out get in her way. If she's remembered in the future, it will be as the Sultan of Crap."

Baby Doll Nighty..."Fake-reading this fake book was sheer torture. What a snoozefest!"

Baby Blue (ratty) Sweatshirt of Val Thevictorian..."I hope Val has thick skin, because she is going to be ripped more than me by the time the fake critics are done fake-reviewing her fake book."